14. Quints part 1

Derek looked up from his chart at the sound of someone clearing their throat. He sighed and met the eyes of his ex-wife. "Addison," he greeted with a nod. They had been effectively ignoring each other for weeks now, and he would be lying if he didn't admit he was interested to know what she had to say to him now.

"I need you for a consult on one of the quints. If you're free," she added quickly.

"Richard mentioned we were on standby."

Burke laughed from beside him. "Yes, apparently our departments are at her disposal."

Addison ignored their comments. "Do you have time to meet the mom now? I want her to meet all of the surgeons on her team before the birth."

"Oh, of course," Derek spoke sarcastically. "It's not like I have my own department to run."

Addison sighed in the way that said she was annoyed, but remained silent.

Derek bit back the urge to bait her further, but swallowed his comment. "Fine. I'm free now, if you're ready."

"Thank-you." It was short and blunt, but it was something.

"I'll be there as soon as I'm out of the OR," Burke spoke.

"Thank-you, Preston," she thanked him, much more meaningful than she had to Derek.

Derek rolled his eyes as he stood, and stiffly followed the familiar red hair to the patient's room. He would never refuse to treat a patient, but he was not looking forward to working with Addison. Although they weren't talking, it hadn't presented much of a problem, as they didn't need to be able to at work. But the prospect of a neonatal neurosurgical case promised plenty of interaction. No matter how angry he still was with her, he knew Addison was very good at her job. She always kept close tabs on all of her young patients, even those being treated by other departments. And she was too big of a person to let her personal feelings get in the way.

He leafed silently through the chart until they arrived at the patient's room, both seeming to step through a portal as they stepped into the room. Their demeanours towards each other changed to strictly professional, and stayed as such, as Derek explained the operation necessary to counter hydrocephalus before Lucy ended up with brain damaged.

000

The first relief Derek had felt all day was the sight of his girlfriend sitting alone at the edge of the cafeteria. He quickly purchased a salad and water, and made his way to her table.

"Hey," she greeted softly, having glanced up and caught his approach.

"Hey," he responded, leaning close to kiss her before settling beside her, and making her laugh as he stole a fry from her plate. He also decided not to mention the small side salad that was sharing the plate, and chose instead to take it as a silent victory.

"You look like crap."

He snorted. "Thank-you, Meredith, coming from you that means so much."

She laughed and playfully bumped him with her shoulder. "You know what I meant. What's up?"

"Nothing new. Addison's driving me crazy. She had me consult for one of the quints."

She nodded. "Yeah, I heard about the quints. George is determined to get in on that."

He met her eyes and blinked, suddenly realizing how novel a case it was, and how important it should be to every intern in the hospital to get involved. And just how much of a strain Meredith's professional life took for being with him. He sighed heavily. "I'm sorry, Mer. I didn't even consider that you would..." he trailed off. "I'm sorry I complicate things for you."

She offered him a small smile and a shrug. "It's okay. I didn't mean to make you feel guilty."

"I know, but our relationship is compromising your career."

She shrugged again. "It's just neonatal; I never had much interest anyway. I'll take the hit."

"If I was a better guy, I'd walk away."

She smirked, recognizing his words from a conversation they had had many months prior. "Yes, you would."

Derek tilted his head and met her gaze, his tone suddenly back to serious. "Do you want me to be a better guy?"

Her expression dropped and she reached for his hand. "Derek, you are a wonderful guy. And I love you. And if you walk away for something like this, I may just have to track you down and beat the crap out of you."

He allowed himself a small smile. "With your tiny, ineffectual fists?"

She smirked. "Damn right. But seriously, Derek, my mother chose her job over every other thing in her life. And now she's sick and all she's got left is me." She shook her head. "I don't want to be anything like her. I want to have a life, and a good job. Not a job that is my life, and nothing else outside the hospital."

"But-"

She shook her head. "I'll take as many hits as I have coming. This," she motioned towards the two of them, "Is totally worth it."

"You sure?"

"Absolutely."

He breathed a sigh of relief at her words and wrapped his arms around her. "Thank-you," he whispered into her hair. "And I'm sorry I'm being crazy, it's just... She's driving me crazy."

"I know."

He released her and breathed deep, forcing his tension out with his exhale. "Okay, new subject, any interesting patients?"

She shook her head. "A guy with priapism, who's claiming not to have taken any EDs."

Derek scrunched his face. "Been there."

He stabbed his fork through a few pieces of lettuce, but paused with the utensil only inches from his mouth when he realised his girlfriend was staring as him, her expression amused, with an eyebrow raised. It was then that he realized what he had said.

He dropped his fork to his plate. "I meant as a doctor," he stuttered.

Her lips tightened as she bit back a laugh. "Suuuuure." She drew out the word.

"No. You don't... I didn't mean it that way... I meant, I've been the intern treating these guys, not that I've ever been the guy who..." He shook his head. "I didn't mean it that way!"

Her hand came to her mouth as she tried to cover her laughter.

He swallowed, forcing his body to calm down. He leaned in close and lowered his voice. "Let me assure you I have never needed any help in that department. I've never needed any pills."

"Derek, it's not a big deal, lots of guys need a...boost. It's nothing to be ashamed of." Her voice was light and joking. She believed him, but she had caught him in a slip of the tongue, and she was going to milk it.

He growled. "I'll show you right here and right now that my boost is all-natural."

She met his eyes and raised an eyebrow. "Right here, huh?" She glanced at the table and then back to him.

He nodded. "If that's what it takes."

She laughed. "I think I'm good, thanks."

He smirked. "You are good. But I'm better."

She swiped a hand at his chest. "So not what I meant."

"I'm just doing what you did, taking things out of context."

She rolled her eyes in good nature. "Whatever."

He smiled and kissed her before turning back to his lunch, taking another silent victory.

"Oh," Meredith spoke after several moments of comfortable silence. "Burke keyed Cristina."

He raised an eyebrow. "Did he take a page out of your book and leave it with a note?" He asked sarcastically, unable to resist the urge to gently mock her.

"Actually, smartass, he did." She mock-glared at him. "He left it in a coffee cup with a note, the first time she had ever even been to his apartment."

Derek furrowed his brow. "The first time she'd ever been to his apartment? What, have they always stayed at hers?"

Meredith shook her head. "I don't think he's ever been to hers."

"Then how..." He trailed off. "You mean they've only ever been together here?"

She nodded. "Yup."

"Hmm." He shook his head, realizing the differences between the two relationships, and immediately thankful for the one he was in. "Well, then..."

Meredith laughed. "Like the total opposite of us."

He smirked. "We could change that. I still have an office to christen..."

She rolled her eyes. "Seriously? Are you that incapable of thinking about anything else?"

"I'm just making sure I don't still need to prove my manhood to you."

She laughed and leaned in close to press her lips against his. She deepened the kiss as soon as he responded and it was several moments before she pulled away. "Derek, you know you don't have anything to prove to me."

"Good." He pecked her lips. "But it's an open offer. My office is free anytime."

She was laughing as he couldn't resist leaning in for one more kiss.

000

Meredith was reading a chart as she wandered through the halls, before she was suddenly, violently, pulled around a corner to a quiet corridor. "What?" She asked her wide eyed best friend.

"He asked me to move in with him," Cristina choked out.

"He what?"

"He asked me to move in with him," she repeated. "At least, I think he did. He asked me to start thinking about moving in with him."

"Cristina..."

"Don't Cristina me," she countered. "I can't move in with him. I don't want to move in with him. Why would he even think to ask..."

"You're freaking out."

"I don't freak out."

Meredith bit back a laugh. "Fine, but you're still overreacting a bit."

"How is this overreacting, Mer? He wants me to move in with him!" She hissed.

"Cristina..." Her best friend remained silent, so Meredith took that as a sign she was ready to listen. "If you're not ready, just tell him that. I know you didn't like the key, but you don't need to use it. Just keep it and use it when you're ready."

"What if he won't wait?"

Meredith paused. "Honestly, I don't know. He's moving really fast if he wants you to move already. He should understand if you're not ready."

"Has McDreamy asked you yet?"

"To move in together?"

"Yeah."

Meredith shook her head. "No. We haven't talked about it."

"But you did the key thing?"

"Yeah; we spend almost every night together, so it made sense. I guess he practically lives with me already."

"Burke's never even been to my apartment."

"So, take him there. Tell him you're not ready to move in, but show him you want to move forward."

Cristina huffed. "You know, I was actually starting to like you, and now you've gone and let Shepherd turn you into a rational pod person."

"He did not. Trust me, you're just catching me between my regularly scheduled freak-outs."

Cristina cracked small hints of a smile. "Fine."

000

Derek was staring up at the OR board, trying to decide whether he could operate on Meredith's patient that evening or to wait until the following morning, when he was bumped into. He stumbled forward and turned to catch a glimpse of red hair disappearing around the corner. His blood pressure jumped as he fought the urge to race after her and start screaming. It took several silent repetitions of 'I'm at work, it's inappropriate,' before he turned and calmly made his way through the crowded hallway of hospital employees.

As he rounded the corner away from the nurse's station, Derek caught a glimpse of red hair boarding the elevator. He dashed across the floor and jumped through the doors just in time. Addison gasped and glared at him, but remained silent. The first sound to break the uncomfortable silence between them was the bang of Derek's hand connecting with the emergency stop button.

"Hey! You can't do that." She turned toward him, her eyes flashing, but Derek held his ground, crossing his arms over his chest and blocking her access to the controls.

"This ends now."

"What are you talking about?"

"This," he motioned between them. "This hateful, glaring, slamming into me in the halls thing."

She rolled her eyes. "I would hardly call that slamming into you, Derek."

"Fine. But you still hit me, and just kept walking."

"There were lots of people. And I have a busy schedule."

Derek fought the urge to yell. "Whatever. You're obviously not going to take the blame for anything here."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're playing the victim here!" He shouted. "You glare and you stomp around and do everything you can to piss me off, to make Meredith uncomfortable. Addison, you put yourself in this situation. What are you even doing here?"

She stuttered. "Richard made me an offer..."

"That's bull, and you know it. We both know you don't need the money. You're obviously miserable. You hate Seattle. You belong in New York. So really, Addison, what are you doing here?"

She met his eyes, hers angry and flashing, but with just a hint of vulnerability behind them. It saddened him to realize that only a few years before, he would have been much better at reading her, because right now, there was an expression he just couldn't place.

"I'm waiting," he prompted.

Her mouth tightened, and her anger faded for just a moment, and all he saw was a flash of pain before she masked it again. "It's none of your business, anymore." She hissed, her voice low and harsh, but it cracked just a bit. "You've made that perfectly clear." It was then that his conversation with Meredith several weeks before fluttered to his mind.

"I think she moved here for you."

He sighed and felt his anger drop away into something resembling compassion. "Addison..."

"Don't even go there, Derek."

"Addison," he tried again. "I'm sorry you're in pain, even if I shouldn't be sorry."

She scoffed. "That's a nice apology, really, Derek. I'm sorry, even if I shouldn't be. Very meaningful. Makes me feel so much better."

He felt his anger spiking again. "Wow, and here I was thinking I was doing something nice, and I get squashed."

"I don't need your fake sympathy."

"Believe it or not, that was real sympathy. But don't you worry, you won't be getting any sympathy again. Ever." He spun and slammed his hand against the emergency stop again, engaging the motor to kick in again.

"Oh, get off your high horse, Derek. You've been flaunting your sparkly, completely inappropriate, relationship with the twelve year old in my face, and you expect me not to react to that? You're an ass."

He faced her again, as if they were readying to spar off. "I haven't been flaunting anything. I'm happy. For once in my life, I'm actually happy. Why can't you just let me live my life in peace?"

She flinched, as if physically struck, and Derek felt his anger drop as he realized what he had said. "Addison..." He stepped forward.

"Don't." She spun away from him. "I have nothing left to say to you."

"I'm not trying to hurt you," he reiterated.

She scoffed. "So the kissy-face every time you two are in the cafeteria is just because...?"

"Addison-"

"My god, Derek, do you even know how inappropriate you're being. She's an intern."

"I love her."

"You're enamoured with her," she countered. "You're approaching middle age and you got bored. So you traded your wife in for a newer model. You can't seriously think it's going to last."

"Oh, I'm the one who traded you in? Funny, as I seem to remember walking in on you and my best friend before I even met her."

"Don't even-"

"No! You don't get to blame me for what you did. Our marriage was far from perfect. We were on the way out, I'll give you that. We didn't give it any effort or time. But we were married for eleven years, and in that time, I never so much as looked at another woman. And you know that. You do not get to put this on me. We weren't perfect, but I played by the rules. I was never unfaithful to you. You cheated on me. So, this place you're in, you put yourself there."

"Go to hell, Derek."

The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened to reveal Meredith, looking just as surprised to see them as they were her. Addison muttered something under her breath and pushed out of the car and quickly past Meredith, who cautiously stepped on board.

"You okay?" She asked quietly as he buried his face in his hands.

"No." He sighed and dropped his hands to meet her worried gaze. "Did you hear any of that?"

The smallest hints of a smile played on the edge of her lips. "I may have heard her tell you to go to hell..."

He laughed, and felt a huge chunk of his stress disappear with it. "Yeah, she did tell me that. I think she also called me an ass."

She bit her lip and reached for his hand. As soon as she made contact, he pulled her close, his arms wrapping comfortably around her frame. "You were right."

"Hmm?" She mumbled against his chest.

"You were right about what she moved here," he clarified. "She moved here for me. And she's in pain. And I hate that I feel guilty about it, even if I haven't done anything wrong."

"Did she admit to it?" She asked softly.

Derek shook his head, leaning back to meet her eyes. "Not directly, but I see what you saw now. She did, however, accuse me of having a midlife crisis and 'trading her in for a newer model.'" He rolled his eyes.

"Well, I guess it could look that way..."

"Hey," he cupped her face with his hand, suddenly realizing he was leading them down a bad path. "It's not that way. I promise you it's not. She's just going to throw everything she's got at me."

She nodded, accepting his words. "Derek, does your... Does your family think that's all this is?"

He hesitated, a 'no' on the tip of his tongue. But she was looking for honesty, not comfort. "To tell you the truth, Mer, I have no idea what they think. I've barely spoken to them, and I avoid the topic when I do."

"Oh."

"And it's not because I don't want to tell them about you," he quickly clarified. "It's because I was mad at them. They stood up for Addison, and Mark, even after everything that happened. And they pushed me to take her back. And I just..." He sighed. "I love my family, but I kind of wanted them to be on my side."

"Okay."

The elevator dinged to announce its stop on her floor, and he followed her out of the car. "How much more do you have left?" He asked as he fell into stride beside her.

She glanced at her watch. "Another hour or two, unless you're operating on my patient tonight."

He shook his head. "No, it can wait till morning. Have him scheduled for eight."

"Okay." They rounded a corner to a quieter hallway and he gently reached out to stop her.

"Are you okay?"

She offered him a smile and nodded. "Yeah. I am. I just don't like the guilt either."

Derek sighed and wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her close as he pressed his lips against her forehead. "I know, and I'm sorry for that. But you know that you have nothing to feel guilty about, right?"

"Sometimes I guess I just need to be reminded."

He leaned his forehead against hers and sighed. "I'm sorry I've put you in this situation."

"Derek..."

He smiled. "I get to be sorry, even if you don't want me to be. You don't deserve the guilt."

"Neither do you."

"We make quite a pair, don't we?"

She laughed and pulled away to meet his eyes. "We're pretty good."

"Yeah?" He felt his heart flutter.

She smiled. "Yeah. And Derek... I just wanted to say thank-you, for not pushing me."

He furrowed his brow as he worked his mind to make sense of the sudden shift in topic. "You're welcome," he said lightly. "Though I don't know what you mean."

She smiled. "Burke, uh, apparently just keying Cristina wasn't enough for him. He sort of asked Cristina to start thinking about moving in with him."

Derek sucked in a breath as he realized what she was talking about.

"And I just wanted to thank you. Because the key was enough for you for right now. And I'm just not ready for that yet."

He couldn't help the warmth he felt at her quiet words. She wasn't ready, but she was open with him about it. She was talking; comfortable enough to bring up to subject. "I know. And there will never be any pressure." He hesitated. "Do you feel pressured? I know I'm over all the time, but I-"

"No." She cut him off. "I love that you're over all the time. And I know that moving in officially wouldn't be much different, but I just... I'm just not ready for that yet."

He kissed her. "No one is expecting you to be ready yet."

"Really?"

"Really. Mer, for Burke to be asking already, well, that's really fast."

"So, you're not going to feel like we're going too slow because of them?"

He shook his head. "Nope. As I said before, all relationships are different. And I like ours right where it is right now."

She smirked. "Well, I love ours where it is right now."

He rolled his eyes good naturedly. "Competitive much?"

She laughed and leaned in for another kiss. "It keeps you in line," she told him. "Anyway, I need to get back to work if I'm actually going to get away this evening. Are you going to stick around?"

He nodded. "I have a little paperwork to catch up on." He paused, "And I guess I need to try to track down Addison again. If we're going to be working together, we need to not be..."

"Screaming at each other on elevators?" She supplied.

He laughed. "Exactly." He pecked her lips. "Page me when you're finished?"

"Okay."

"I'll see you later then." He reluctantly released her from his arms. "I love you."

She smiled and kissed him one last time. "I love you, too."