387. Dawko? ~Umbrella~

"Goddamn it... Guys!?" asked Josuke, entering the scene. "Some Mexican dude with a goat bike practically robbed me earlier... I bought a cake and he stole it then gave me money... Without my consent... But the line was way longer when I got back... so now I have no cake-... OH MY GOD!!!"

The whole mansion's living room is a mess and everyone (except Finn) is in their underwear watching television.

"Guys!?" asked Josuke. 

"Yeah?" asked Patrick.

"This place is a friggin' mess!" yelled Josuke.

"Your life's a mess," said Gumball.

"ORA!!!"

*SLAP!!!*

Gumball topples down and tumbles on the floor.

Patrick eats a lollipop and puts it in and out of his mouth while moaning.

"Patrick, stop giving head to that candy. And gguys... Please clean up your mess!" yelled Josuke.

"Try cleaning up your life," said Gumball, coughing blood on the ground.

"Not appreciating your attitude..." Josuke shook his head. "Where's... Finn?"

Meanwhile...

Finn gets home from work and is met by his wife.

Finn smiles and kisses her as Yoshiko turned red and turned away.

"Come on, Yoshi..." said Finn. 

"I'm not in the mood," said Yoshiko.

"Oh Glob!" yelled Finn, turning around. "Someone's outside the door!"

"Where?" Yoshiko turns to the door as Finn kisses her.

"Hm..."

*smack*

"Not bad, Mertens..." said Yoshiko, turning red.

"Ugh! Will you two stop making out!?" Mint sighs as she stomps outside wearing very thin shorts and a crop top. On her head, she wears a brown bear hat similar to Finn's.

"Sure, thing!" smiled Finn.

"Sweetie, you are not going out like that," Yoshiko squinted her eyes.

"Whatever!" yelled Mint.

"You can go, sweetie," said Finn.

"Thanks, Daddy!"

*shut*

"Come on, Yoshiko! She's finding herself! She's fifteen and all the boys are after her!" smiled Finn. "That's normal back in my world!"

"Well, it isn't normal in ours, Finn..."

"Trust me! She's a smart kid..."

"Finn... She still thinks that Jupiter is Earth's moon."

"Yeah? Well, she's smart enough to learn that it isn't. Mars is."

"Oh, God..." Yoshiko facepalms.

"Mom, Dad?" asked Jay, their son, who wears a pair of headphones over his ears. He puts a blue cat hat over his head. "I'm going out with the band! See ya!"

"Sure thing!" smiled Finn.

Finally, his youngest daughter, Bonny, approached Finn. She wears a white rabbit hat. "Hey, Daddy!" she smiled sweetly.

"Hey, honey!" Finn carries her up.

"Let's go have an adventure!"

"Aw, yeah!" smiled Finn as he "flew" her around like an airplane. "IT'S ADVENTURE TIME!!!"

"Haha! Yeah! Can we go into the Badlands and fight some Sand Golems with Uncle Jake?"

"Sure, thing, sweetheart! Hahahaha!"

Finn fist-bumps his daughter.

"Both of you don't do anything dumb out there, okay?" smiled Yoshiko.

"We are all blondes..." said Finn.

Yoshiko giggles and facepalms. She hugs Finn and Bonny. "Be careful."

"We will..."

"Is it creepy that her adoptive father is your alternate self?" asked Gumball, while the entire group, including Yoshiko and Bonny, walked with him.

"Rick says he isn't. So it's fine," said Yoshiko.

"To legally get to the Badlands, we have to enter the Colony's Train," said Darwin.

Gumball writes Bonny's name. "B... O... N... N... I... E..."

"That's not how you spell my daughter's name," Yoshiko's eye darts at Gumball's and woges into an animalistic cat's with a terrifying red glow.

"R-Right..." said Gumball, as he throws away the paper and rewrites it into "Bonny Mertens."

"Why are we going to the Badlands again?" asked Darwin.

"Because it's adventure time," said Finn.

"How is 9:38 AM Adventure Time?"

"It just is," said Jake.

The group reaches the train station as they pay the system .5 units for a ticket each.

"Finn Mertens?" asked a Human.

"Hey," said Finn.

"You're Ooo's greatest hero, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Could I have your autograph?"

"I'm illiterate... Want a selfie instead?"

"Sure!"

Finn gets a selfie with the random guy.

"Finn. Don't take selfies from random strangers," said Yoshiko. "You might get posted on their Instagram... or worse... Facebook... or even worse... Twitter..."

"Hey! It's derogative of you to derogate on these fine derogative websites," said Gumball. "And Twitter's dead. I killed her, remember?"

"Using derogate frequently like that expresses an idea that you don't recognize the vocable and you have no idea what it connotates, suggesting that your mind is too vapid regarding the thought and therefore you are stupid," said Yoshiko.

"Gee, Yoshiko... Maybe Santa gives me a dictionary this Christmas so I could understand the words that came out of that mouth of yours," smiled Spongebob.

"Easy..." said Yoshiko, squinting her eyes.

"What...? Why?" asked Spongebob.

"Was Mr. Reaper a Communist?" asked Darwin.

"What!?" asked Josuke. "No!"

"Didn't he try to destroy societal class?"

"He tried to destroy class... but that makes him Marxist. Not Communist!" said Yoshiko.

"He was not Marxist neither was he a Communist. He just believed that people lost their humanity because of continuous exploitation from the race above them. That had nothing to do with class. If anything, he supported capitalism."

"Didn't he destroy the United States?" asked Darwin.

"Yeah. Because United States' President was a psychopath who bombed his own cities and pointed the finger at Mr. Reaper," said Josuke.

"Didn't he try to colonize America?"

"That makes him sound like an imperialist now," said Gumball.

"To protect it from enemies from the skies," explained Josuke. "I... think..."

"That sounds oddly like an excuse for Glory from the three G's."

"Well unlike the Europeans he actually believed he could help them. And he didn't bother changing anyone's language, cultures, and values, so no one's colonized. It's just that the Maharlica's worlds are now one sovereign nation."

"Still pretty sketchy," said Patrick.

"Patrick may be right," said Gumball.

"Oh, sure. Listen to the dumb starfish for all I care," Josuke rolled his eyes.

Later...

Finn, Jake, and Bonny finish playing on the hill in the Badlands, as the clock reached noon and the sun struck all the moisture out of the Badlands.

"Welp! We should go," said Finn. "It's getting pretty hot out here... Bonny's sunscreen might evaporate. I'll go cook some meatloaf for the kids. Heheh... Then we'll make a blanket fort and pretend to be pirates!"

"Yay!" giggled Bonny.

Meanwhile... a mysterious cloaked figure follows after them...

Josuke eyes a cloaked figure following them. He takes out Prince and squints at one of the dunes.

Josuke darts at the dune and woges.

*sparkle... sparkle*

"ORA!!!"

"NARWHAL BLAST!!!"

Several narwhals are blasted into Josuke's face as Josuke topples and tumbles down a dune.

Josuke brushes sand off of him and spits out sand. "Star!?" asked Josuke.

"Hey, Josuke!" smiled Star, as she stood back up.

"Why are you h-!?"

Star grabs Josuke's mouth. "Up! Up! Up! Shush! Someone is following you!"

"Okay?" asked Josuke. "Is it one of Finn's stalkers?"

Star grabs Josuke's mouth once more. "One word. 'Umbrella.' When the drones come, make sure it gets the kid!"

"Wh-!?" asked Josuke. "No!? NO!!!"

Star does a raspberry noise and portals out of the area.

"Josuke!?" asked Darwin, as they reach Josuke, who is on the ground.

"Geez! You look like you were struck by the Tagalog Insurgency! Aha!" laughed Gumball. "That's right! I've been reading history!"

"You mean the Philippine-American War?" asked Josuke.

"In the States on our Earth, we know it as the Tagalog Insurgency, when we tried to save the Philippines from Spain!"

"You mean when you colonized us for fifty years or steal our natural resources?"

"Which your family helped us in doing..." Gumball smiled, grabbing Josuke's shoulder. "We never did thank you for that."

"Your America isn't our America..."

"Sure it is! Just change the weird humans and Cryptids into Cartoon Characters and we're practically twins!And you're welcome, Philippines..."

Josuke looks at Gumball with disgust.

"Okay... if this is going to be a thing, I'm sorry for him," Darwin said to Josuke.

"This has been a thing for 500 years ever since some snob-nosed idiot offered us taxes from a country that isn't ours," said Josuke.

"Spain also says 'you're welcome,'" smiled Gumball as he pats Josuke's shoulder.

Josuke slaps his hand away.

"Tagalog? What is that? Some sort of sussy baka?" asked Patrick.

"Can I also be sorry, too? But for Patrick?" asked Spongebob.

Josuke looks up, hearing a whirring sound in the air. "Huh? Oh, right! Finn, Star wants to have your kid stolen."

A drone appears above them as it zoomed toward Bonny.

"Right...! Shit! FINN! SOMEONE WARNED ME ABOUT THAT DRONE!!!" yelled Josuke.

Yoshiko immediately jumps into action and ran toward their child,

"Huh?" Finn turns to Josuke. "Wha?"

The drone snatches Bonny while Finn was facing away.

"OH, GLOB!!! BONNY!!!" yelled Finn.

Yoshiko gasps.

"WHY DID YOU LET THAT DRONE GRAB OUR DAUGHTER!?" asked Yoshiko.

"Some dude called me from that rock over there!" Finn explained, pointing to the rock.

"I'M TALKING ABOUT JOSUKE!!!"

"Gumball was... Being a racist bigot!" shrugged Josuke.

"You're a hypocrite," said Gumball.

"KILLER QUEEN II!!!"

*SHOO*

*BANG!!!*

The missile misses the drone that caught Bonny.

"BONNY!!!" cried Yoshiko.

"Welp..." said Gumball. "Too bad for you, Finn. And..." His watch beeps. "That's lunch! Where do you guys wanna eat?"

Finn grabs Gumball by the neck. "MY DAUGHTER GOT KIDNAPPED!!!"

Yoshiko grabs Josuke by the neck from behind. "YOU LET OUR DAUGHTER GET KIDNAPPED!!!"

"N-Now, everyone, calm down..." told Josuke while he was choking. "W-We can think about this."

"Yeah! Like how your daughter's Drone Chow!" laughed Patrick. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AHA!!!"

"What the barnacle is wrong with you today, Patrick? Or... EVERY DAY!? You've been really sadistic, Patrick," asked Spongebob.

"I have issues..." Patrick bowed his head in shame. "I remember when my daughter got kidnapped."

"What daughter!? You live off by my savings!" yelled Spongebob.

"You would know if you listened!" Patrick crossed his arms.

"The drone is going that way! JAKE!!! DO SOMETHING THAT GIVES US PLOT CONVENIENCE!!!" yelled Finn.

Jake transforms into a large bus as everyone enters. He then grows giant legs as he ran toward the drone.

"WE'RE COMING, BABY!!!" yelled Finn, strongly posing on Jake's back like an awesome knight as his hair flows in the wind. Lightning flashes behind him.

Later...

Finn is asleep as his drool is now everywhere on the makeshift seat inside the "bus".

*snorereeere...*

Everyone is asleep inside the Jake Bus.

"Honey..." said Yoshiko. Yoshiko slaps the back of Finn's head. "Honey, wake up."

"Later..." whispered Finn.

Yoshiko grabs Finn's face and smother's him.

"*SNORE-!!!* *GASP!!!* Huh? What!? Come on! I did my taxes! I did my taxes!"

"We followed the drone in that mountain over there with that weird Mexican dude trying to shake her," said Yoshiko, as she points to that cloaked Mexican dude.

"LET'S KILL HIM-!!!" yelled Finn.

"-OR!!! Maybe we could talk to him..." smiled Josuke.

Yoshiko summons her armor and grabs Finn as she flies out of Jake's roof.

"OW!!! DAGNABBIT!!!" Jake yelled. "Hihihi... Was that a good old dude voice or what?"

"You are an old dude. I'd give you that," smiled Patrick.

"No one likes you, Patrick," said Jake.

"But you like me," blushed Patrick, as he fidgeted. Patrick gobbles up the lollipop again and this time sucks it suggestively.

Jake angrily stared at Patrick as he shapeshift inside and places his eyes on the seat in front of Patrick. He laughs. "Yeah, I do."

Finn and Yoshiko land in front of the slender yet muscular bearded Mexican dude.

Drones began emerging from his body as they flew toward Finn and Yoshiko. They resemble regular drones with four appendages and four rotor blades that help them fly. They were silver in color and had cameras at the bottom. At the sides of the cameras and grenade launchers at the bottom.

The drones shot at the pair.

"GET BEHIND ME!!!" yelled Kira, as Finn hid behind Kira. "Can't you travel back in time and get Bonny from there!?"

"No! Mr. Reaper told me that his time traveling caused Ms. Polnareff to change her mind and caused well... no offense... you to destroy the Universe!"

"Ah! Right!" yelled Yoshiko.

Finn uses Time Adventure to throw rocks at the drones, which causes them to each shoot each other.

*RATATA!!!*

*SPLAT!!!*

Some of the spirit bullets shoot the Mexican dude's leg as he drops to the ground.

"Damn, that's precise as hell, sweetie," said Yoshiko.

"Baby, you know it," smiled Finn.

*shoo*

*tuk*

A pebble hits the Mexican's head as he drops to the ground.

Finn and Yoshiko prepared their Stands for the kill as they approached the man.

Finn removes the hood around his face.

"WAIT!!! DON'T ATTACK!!!" yelled Star from the distance. Star runs toward the man and hugs him. "Marco!" she cried.

"Dawko?" asked Patrick, as Jake landed before the group. "HEY, SUPERSTARS!!! TWERK, BABY!!! DAWKO'S HERE!!!"

"Can you for once be in line with the topic!?" asked Spongebob.

"Fish paste, Spongebob. People love me when I'm acting stupid," said Patrick.

"If you die, I wouldn't care," laughed Gumball.

"You're a cat. Dying would be stupid because you have nine lives," said Jake.

"You're Jake. Dying would be stupid because you're Jake," said Gumball.

"Why do you antagonize everyone?" asked Darwin.

"Because it's funny, Darwin," smiled Gumball.

"All of you! Shut up!" yelled Josuke. "Who is this?"

"His name's Marco Diaz," said Star. "He's the dead boyfriend I told everyone about."

"Oh, wow," said Josuke.

"I told you that you should've checked!" yelled Gumball.

"Can someone please help me? I got shot in the leg..." said Marco.

"Right," said the heroes, as they lift Marco up and help him into the Jake Bus.

"Sorry about that cake, dude," said Marco.

Josuke uses Prince to heal him there.

Meanwhile... A yellow triangle hovers above them, watching their actions...

"All according to plan... NGAHAHAHAHAHA!!! My newest Disciples will surely unleash Josuke into bringing him back...!"

*vrung...*

Somewhere out there, an unhatched egg stayed there in the shadows of a cave...