339. Bill Cipher ~Megalomania~

Yurielle wakes up and hears cackling.

The Stardust Rangers are hooked up on beds as they hear Bill Cipher's cackling.

"Oh...!We'll meet again,Don't know where... don't know when!But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day," he sang while playing a warped-out piano. "Well, well, well! If it isn't the third most annoying family in my life! The Joestar Family! Known as the Ibarra Family or the JoJo Family in other realities!"

"You must be Bill..." said Kariel.

"Remember Black History Month?" asked Bill Cipher. "Then it was replaced to Race History Month? Where it is a period that speaks about all the races' histories of the world?That was because Miguel JoJo... and all the Ibarras... believed that all races should have a chance to be known in this world." Bill warps out a Martini and drinks it with his eyelids, turning his eyelids into lips. "I agree... But his mistake was that he introduced order... The order that all races could agree with... and be at peace with one another should exist. That's what he thought.I say... Anarchy is the best policy... Order is like a sweet grape that thrives on a vine... Because it is bound by the vine. But Anarchy is introduced when the grape is harvested... but let's say that one is lost in the soil... That singular grape is still bound by one thing...Gravity...So... now, what?The grape is just stuck there! Lost in the soil...What if we take away... gravity? The grape will be free and fly away.As Lord DIO once said... Which I agree with! Gravity, like fate, doesn't exist. We are all made of energy. Energy is just an illusion... Therefore, you and I... we do not exist. In the end, having an eye or being blind doesn't matter, Yurielle JoJo... Because everything you see is false. It does not matter...Call it nihilism... But it is the truth...DIO's mistake is that he tried to introduce order...So, let us introduce a little anarchy..."

Before...

Yurielle sobs, still trying to see as she tries to limp away from Kariel.

"Hey! Listen to me!" yelled Kariel. "Yuri!!!"

"He killed my parents..." she panted. She looks up and tries to look into Kariel's eyes.

"You're going to be blind, Yurielle..." said Kariel. "Your parents are dead... You gotta accept that. That... That is reality!"

Yurielle begins to cry.

"You have to accept reality, Yurielle! Accept that!"

Now...

Yurielle pants. "You killed people... Innocent people..."

"So?" chuckled Bill Cipher. "Nothing matters, Yurielle... Not unless someone like me decides that it does. Let's say that when I killed people, it really did matter... The moment I killed that child with a knife raindrop... That mattered. But when you realize that that child is formed from stardust... stardust that is a version of infinite variants of the same stardust... That child was just a speck. If you want things to really matter, then the thing called 'order' shouldn't exist... Because with the phenomenon known as order, only God matters! What about us? What are we? We are just the variables of his little science project! Destroy the commandments, and we can be free. We can find our own meaning!How many people have fallen because this so-called existent fate had led them there? I've killed my brethren... I was tricked into doing so.So... Missy... You seem to be distraught... Disgusted by how many dead men, women, and children lie behind me..."

"People died in every war in modern history... All those people..." said Sam. "Killed by you!"

"Hey! It was just a deal, okay!? So what if your country bombs a little city they see fit to die? Who cares!? They're just mortals doing mortal things! Who cares!?" 

"That's pretty paradoxical... You're saying that in order for us to matter, we have to die because we currently don't matter."

"And those who survive would get to live in the new world I created!"

"A world of chaos?" asked Sam. "Look... I'm no rocket scientist, but I don't think chaos would be a land of bounty."

"Yes, it would... Because no one up there has to dictate our lives!" yelled Bill. "Imagine! A world where everyone can be anything they want to be! Anyone is equal! No one is ruled by any leader that bugs them all day! We get to be free! Rejoice!Why can't you people see that?"

"Well..." said Yurielle. "For one thing... I'm blind. For another... Don't you realize the risk of all that!? A world where anyone could do just... ANYTHING!?"

"Then you are lacking faith in humanity," said Bill.

Meanwhile...

Tyrone enters the room, seeing that Miguel and Gabrielle are laughing.

"Miguel!?" asked Tyrone.

"Hey," said Miguel. "Look..."

Tyrone pushes Miguel away. "What?" he scoffed. "You gonna do something?"

Miguel bows his head as he snickers.

He then grabs Gabrielle and punches her in the face.

"HEY!!!" yelled Miguel.

Tyrone just keeps beating her.

"I don't care if you're alive again... Because I'm not im-..."

"COVER YOUR EYES!!!" he yelled.

Gabrielle cries and covers her eyes.

Miguel grabs his head and hits it with his magical stick.

Miguel sighs. "Does he hit you and your Mom?"

Gabrielle, weeping, nods. "He does things to her, too... And makes me watch... He and his friends do stuff to her... They call it 'bonding...'"

Miguel frowns after hearing this, realizing that he and his friends go on rounds with her in front of his daughter.

Miguel beats Tyrone over and over again with his stick. Remember that this stick is enchanted, so it's currently harder than Vibranium.

He binds him on the floor with magic.

"Wait... Wait... Hol' up..." said Tyrone.

Miguel pants and begins bashing Tyrone's head on the floor.

Tyrone whimpers as Miguel angrily does this. 

He then opens the door and puts Tyrone's head between the door and the wall as he is about to chop his head off.

*SLAM!!!*

He beats his head by slamming the door on it over and over again.

*SLAM!!! SLAM!!!*

"MIGUEL!!!" yelled Anne.

Miguel stops.

"Why didn't I see that he beats you... and forces himself onto you? And why didn't I know about Gabrielle?" asked Miguel. "Did you use it?"

"Miguel..."

"DID YOU USE IT!?"

"Yes..." she said. "I used Paisley Park to change what you saw... I never... lived a happy marriage with Tyrone... MABUS made me do this."

Miguel is then about to slam his head one more time, but Nick's Weather Report stops the door.

"You told us that if you kill someone, it happens, right? Right!?" asked Nick.

"Why? What happens?" asked Narcos.

"Bizarrmaggeddon," said Miguel. "The end will begin. If I kill anyone... Unless it's myself... The End will Begin... A lot of people will die..."

"So... don't... kill him..." said Nick. "If you can't sacrifice your anger, at least sacrifice this one thing. Sacrifice this one single dream... This dream of murdering this man. Please..."

Miguel nods. "Nick?"

"Yeah?" asked Nick.

"Kill him."

Nick takes out his ax and tosses it into Tyrone's skull, effectively killing him as his head was chopped in half.

Miguel hugs Gabrielle, covering her eyes.

"Thank you..." wept Gabrielle.

Anne wept as well, covering her mouth.

Miguel, with a terrifying look, nods.

Miguel then opens a portal and drags Tyrone's body. He hooks the body up to the DeLorean and begins to drive the DeLorean in the neighborhood. He furiously yet silently drives as Tyrone's body is scraped on the ground.

Horrified people scream as they see, who they begin to think is Miguel Ibarra back for revenge, drives past them. 

Miguel's anger grows as Tyrone's bones are broken from the impact. He begins howling, remembering all the times he watched Tyrone beat Anne, his friends, and himself. He remembered the times Tyrone used to frame him. Suddenly, Miguel began to absorb Tyrone's memories as an infant. Even as much as the little moments and the times he was happy with his mother before she died. Then, he began seeing how Tyrone was abused by his father. Miguel sighs and stops the car.

Tyrone's body, or at least, what's left of it, is carried by Miguel as he opens a portal at the doorstep of his sister's home, the last of Tyrone's family. She sees his corpse and has mixed feelings about her brother's death. She nods.

"So..." said the sister. "You're back."

"Yes..." said Miguel.

"Did you kill him?"

"Technically... No.Did you love him?"

"Yes... But he was evil... I am glad... and angered at the same time." His sister began to cry. "What did you do to his body...?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't ask... I ordered my friend to kill him because he was beating and raping the one I love and hurting my child. Then... I hooked him up to my DeLorean and dragged his body around the neighborhood."

His sister sobbed.

"I'm sorry..." said Miguel, with horrifying and lifeless eyes. 

"Why are you here!?"

"So you could at least bury your brother."

"I don't know if I want to bury this monster."

"You should."

"Why?"

"Because that is what humans are supposed to do for the dead. We bury them."

"Then why did you drag his body like that?"

Miguel stays silent for a second. "Hatred. Anger. Heartbreak. Everything... This person made my life painful in the past... I guess... I was being a child."

"But why something so horrible!?"

"Because I'm not a man. I'm not a child either. I'm not a person... I am a force of nature... A god in the machine... I feel terrible... But a part of me thinks he deserves it... and yet another just doesn't care. That's what's horrifying about me, huh? The fact that I don't care. And the fact that I'm all you people got for saving the world is horrifying... Because what if I decided that I won't save you? What if...? What if you don't matter to me?Here..."

He gently places the body on her doorstep. He bows in respect. "Forgive me for the rudeness." Miguel then takes her phone from her pocket and dials 911. Miguel turns around and opens a portal.

She points a gun at his head.

Miguel sighs. "You won't shoot me."

Miguel walks inside the portal and closes it.

She kneels and breaks down, crying.

Meanwhile...

"This form! I took this form to mock the Abrahamic God! And here we are today, and The One Above All still doesn't get it!It's like you tell a joke and after a trillion years it gets old! But that one person who didn't get it still doesn't! If he does, that would be pretty funny because it would be comedy a trillion years in the making!Don't you people have any idea how many Omniverses he rules? How many of them had passed? No one cares! Call me a broken record... But remember! Broken records exist for a reason.I know... you want that, right? Yurielle?"

Yurielle turns away from him.

"You want all of reality to be false... Because if it is... You can bend it... You can decide its current state. Because you've got the power. A world that goes beyond in the palm of your hands. Imagine, Yurielle Mista.Imagine no longer being alone. But instead, you will get to live happily with your parents once more. Imagine being able to see again..."

No. 5 appears out of Yurielle. "Don't listen to him, Yurielle!"

"Your Stands could evolve and have so much power, Yuri... You could do anything!"

"I can't!" yelled Yurielle. "Obviously not... Because I know what you're planning. You can see the potential in everyone... So you tempt these people... You make deals with these people. Obviously, it's a Monkey's Paw. So, I don't trust you. No shot."

"But you could have everything you want! A family! Eyes! More than two if you want!"

"I already have a family... and I already see...through your bullshit, at least."

"I am Bill Cipher!" roared Bill. "Don't you know what I'm capable of!? I can give you anything! ANYTHING!!!"

"And you're also a megalomaniac," said Dark.

"I have no pride... I only want to save people!" cackled Bill.

"Which is a paradox because you kill people," said F.F.

"I second that notion," said Johnny. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Sorry, the chains tickled my wrist and I'm ticklish there."

"Well..." said Jill. "You're kinda fuckin' us over right now and you're about to be killin' us after this... So... Yeah. I say that you 'be' a hypocrite."

"Yeah... Haha! Like any of you matter! I'm a being that used to be from the 5th Dimension!"

"And I'm Captain America," said Sam.

"Who stands for freedom! What kind of 'Captain America' is placed underneath a government!?"

"America stands for liberty, not anarchy!"

"What is liberty when you are still bound by the gravity of law!?I knew it... You people really would never understand... And I thought I could save you...AH, HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE... VIOLENTLY!!!"

"I lost my brother..." said Kariel. "I'm... quite literally the last Crusader... And I gotta say... We'll knock you down... as my brother said to all his enemies... We will stand right back up and knock you down." Kariel's voice broke. "We're going to kill all of you."

"Pfft... Yeah right!" chuckled Bill. "Sure! As if you could!Stefan changed his own fate. He thought that it was all his own decision... Foolish...The number of deals behind me... You can never count them. They say count your blessing! I say we count our deals! Ain't that right, Buttercup?"

"What do you want to do?" asked Kariel.

"Well... I could do an evil monologue about my plans and you could beat me by figuring out my weaknesses or discrepancies in said plan... but...!" sneered Bill. "Nah!"

"You already have the DISCs because you used Bad Romance to extract the DISC of Miguel JoJo from Gabrielle's mind through Fiona's Bad Romance..." said F.F. "Bill... already found the DISCs while we were all unconscious. He's crazy... I've seen what he's done... But... he's not evil... Not at all... He just wants to help...But he is crazy..." said F.F. "That isn't cool, Bill!"

"Oh! Sure! Absolute anarchy and absolute chaos are horrible!"

"YES!!!" yelled the Rangers.

"You people are weird!"

"He's planning to use the DISCs to begin the first step of his overall plans...He's going to trigger the timeline. Bizarrmaggeddon will begin the moment Miguel Ibarra kills someone."

"Has he!?" asked Yurielle.

"I don't know..." said F.F. "Why are you doing this?"

"Two things! First... Resentment... Second! BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING FUNNY!!!"

Meanwhile...

Miguel silently eats dinner with Anne, the other Gabrielle, Nick, and Narcos.

Suddenly, several of his friends walk in. They're muscular men and women.

"Did you kill Tyrone!?" asked one of the men. "HEY!!! ASSHOLE!!!"

Miguel, right now, is at the end of the table where he is facing away from the door. So, he stands up and slowly turns to the men and women, revealing his long wavy hair and beard. He is also wearing Tyrone's sunglasses as a trophy. There are around 12 of them. 7 men and 5 women.

They all back away, seeing that he is alive again.

"You're supposed to be dead!" yelled one man. "Or... Are you MABUS!?"

"Nah... MABUS don't got no tattoos no more... That ain't him..." said a woman.

"I heard that you assaulted Anne..." said Miguel.

"Yeah..." chuckled the man. "What could she have done? MABUS had her in the palm of his hands... And here you are... What are you going to do? Kill us?"

They're all holding metal pipes and knives.

He takes out his metal sticks and sneers. "Stand down, Nick... Narcos. I've got this."

Anne grabs Gabrielle and hides in the kitchen.

Miguel takes out his sticks.

They all attack at once but Miguel, without using any spells, blocks all of their attacks and disarms all twelve by dancing toward each of them and grabbing their weapons away. He then snaps his fingers, dusting all the weapons into non-existence. He then knocks down all twelve. One stands right back up. He then tosses the stick at the wall. It bounces back on the woman's face. He then beats several of them with his other stick. He grabs his first stick and jabs a man's eye out, blinding him in one eye.

All of them attack once again but Miguel sweeps their legs and beats three women to the ground.

Miguel then proceeds to warp out a hammer and break their spines while five of them are on the ground.

He then turns his stick into a chain and grabs the neck of one of them. He then slams his face on the ground, knocking him out.

Six are left, and Miguel blocks their attacks. Miguel then grabs one's neck with a chain stick and slams all of them to the ground.

That one woman is then beaten by Miguel. He then proceeds to snap her spine with a single punch.

The five men and women wrestle him to the ground and bite into his skin, as he roars and runs backward, slamming themselves into the wall as they all fall over.

Miguel jumps and breaks the legs of one woman.

The last four stand up, but Miguel somersaults and knocks two out.

The last two punch him over and over, but Miguel blocks his punches and bashes his head in the wall over and over.

The last man stands up and punches Miguel over and over again, but Miguel bites his cheek and tears its flesh off. The man sobs and screams, gargling blood. Miguel then headbutts him and jabs his face, knocking him out.

Miguel spits out the flesh he tore out of his face.

One man begins to have a swollen throat, so Miguel picks up a pen from the coffee table and punctures his throat. He then puts the pen on it like a pipe in order for him to breathe.

Miguel then limps back and sits on his chair, proceeding to eat.

"Are you going to at least heal them?" asked Narcos.

Miguel turns to Narcos, sighing. "What do you think?Now, call 911 and stop acting like an idiot."

"Won't you get arrested?" asked Nick.

"I'd like to see them try," said Miguel. He then drinks and gargles some water so that his mouth would no longer tastes like blood. "Now...I'm going to do something for the first time in 3,000 years. Shush..."

Miguel then opens a portal to San Diego, the Philippines, Earth-777. This is a fictional city, remember? So please don't sue me.

Miguel, in the streets of San Diego, Manila, where he drowned first and was resurrected as The Chosen One, takes off all his clothes, as all the people are horrified by his return. He begins to sing with confidence, respect, charisma, and passion... About desecrating his reality. Why? Because he hates this reality. ROFL. 

"I'm gonna jack it where the sun always shines!(He's gonna jack it!)Been spreading the word and now I need to ease my mind(Jackin' it, ooooooooooooooooooooooh!)Been planting apple seeds, and while the apples growI'm gonna go out jackin' it in San Diego.Jackin' it, jackin' it, jackety-jackSpankin' it, jackin' it, spankety-smack.I don't need a shirt no, gonna' take them pants right off.(He's about to jack it!)On such a bright day, who needs underwear or socks?(Jack it, jack it, hooooooooooooooooooooooooo!)Been around god's country, and there's one thing I know,There's no better place for jackin' it than San Diego!Jack it, jack it, jackety-jackSpankin' it, spankin' it, smackety-smack.Jackin' it, jackin' it, jackety-jack.Spankin' it, spankin' it, smackety-smack.Jacking for the lord!"

*Whistling*

Prismo speaks.

"Come to San Diego!There's so much to see...From the sparkling waters of Manila Bay,To the warm tortillas of Espania Town.And after a day of sightseeing,Why not try spankin' it on one of our city streets?San Diego, come, take a load off."

"Jackin' it, jackin' it, jackety-jack.Spankin' it, spankin' it, smackety-smack.A-whackin' it, whackin' it, whackety-whack.Spankin' it, jerkin' it, smackety-smack.The cars are passing me by,They honk and say hello."

"Hey, that guy's jackin' it!" yelled a man.

"From his window, there's a guy shootin' video.(Video of them jackin' it).And if the good lord Jesus comes knocking on my door!Just tell him that I'm jackin' it in San Diego!Jackin' it, jackin' it, jackety-jack,Spankin' it, spankin' it, smackety-smack.(He's about to jack it!)Jackin' it Jack, jackin' it Jack!Whack, whackin' it, whackin' it.Whackey, whackey, spank spank, smackety-smack."

Miguel finishes and sighs in relief. "Ah...!" He puts his clothes back on.

The people are too afraid to approach him or call the police, realizing that the end is near for them.

"What are you doing here?" asked a familiar voice.

Miguel slowly turns around. He begins chuckling. "MABUS!!!"

"You're supposed to be dead!"

"And you're supposed to be alive! And here you are! Standing before me!"

"If you kill anyone..." said MABUS. "The end will begin."

"Here's the thing, MABUS..." said Miguel. "I don't care..."

Gabrielle, who is watching this from the Time Room, begins to get nervous.

The Rangers are watching this (except for Yurielle, of course), and Bill just sits on the air and eats some Cosmic Chips and drinks Superior-Sized Hetap.

"Come on!" yelled Bill. "COME ON!!!" 

On the screen...

Miguel warps out his sticks and prepares to kill MABUS.

In the room...

Kariel turns to Yurielle and sees that she isn't there anymore.

Kenneth notices this. "Ah... shit..."

Meanwhile...

Miguel approaches MABUS.

"Wait...!" said MABUS. "This isn't fair! I don't have my Stand anymore! You took an oath to never hurt non-Stand-Users!"

Miguel sneers. "That's the thing... I've already hurt them."

Suddenly, a green portal appears above Miguel and Yurielle drops before him.

Back in the room...

"Hoho!" cackled Bill. "This is gettin' good!"

Now...

Yurielle faces Miguel Ibarra.

"Yurielle JoJo..." said Miguel. "Step away... He's powerless... He's a dictator... and he needs to die..."

"Miguel... Don't you realize?" asked Yurielle. "He's messing with us! This is what he wants!"

"So!?" asked Miguel. "So what if the world ends! It's not gonna matter if he wins!"

Yurielle sighs and takes out Kariel's revolver.

Back in the room...

Kariel's eyes widen as he checks his holster. His revolver is gone. "Oh, she is so grounded..." sighed Kariel.

Now...

"You've gone mad with power..."

"I don't care about power! I want him dead!"

"Then... you've been driven by jealousy... anger... vengeance... hatred..." said Yurielle. "You don't have to be the person Bill Cipher is trying to build. You don't have to end the world!"

Miguel sighs. "I feel like I'm drowning... I..." said Miguel. "I feel like that I'm becoming less and less human. At first... I thought that this was about promoting the Philippines against America... Then... I thought that this was about saving the world... Then... I thought this was because I had an ego... No... I'm a machine... Why don't you people understand that? I'm a machine. I have a purpose. My purpose is to serve humanity. But humanity threw me away... Humanity broke me. I feel like a war in me. I want to hurt... to kill... I want it so bad..."

"So do I..." said Yurielle. "Believe me... I want to kill the people who killed my parents... Who removed my sight..."

"So? Why don't you?"

"Because so far, I haven't killed... Killing changes you..."

"You don't know that."

"Yes... I don't... But I know what it feels like to have so much anger... But... if you do something that doesn't just endanger you but endangers everyone else-!!!"

"I'll save the people I care about... and I'll leave this world forever... And bring my family to Heaven..."

"Then you're selfish..."

"I'm God, Yurielle... I have no concept of selfishness. No matter what I do, it is good. That is my paradoxical nature..."

"Miguel... please... I realize now that giving the DISCs to Bill... so I could find Stroheim-..."

Everyone in the other rooms gasps out of horror.

"-...was a mistake."

"Y'know... As the Chosen One... I hate hypocrites... That's why I hated the United States... And now... you... because you're a hypocrite. I am not. I am simply making the world suffer. As God said, 'Vengeance is mine.'"

"Please!" yelled Yurielle. "If no... Then... I'll fight you!"

Miguel snickers. "Then... you will d̴͓͙̂i̸̘̒ê̴̩..."

"I already died when I lost my eyes..." said Yurielle.

Miguel sighs. "So be it." Miguel charged and roared like a berserker. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!"