334. F. F. and Ghost Rider ~Get Scammed~
"Hello... I am Gabrielle JoJo. Last night, I sent a video where I told you that I was going to give a proper apology to you today... And... I will.I, Gabrielle JoJo, am sorry for what happened yesterday in New York City. I am also sorry for the deaths of many American people because of this mission. And I am sorry for my father and his actions toward your country and your former President, Doughnut Trumpet.I think that my father believed that there is no such thing as a division, but that the people in Maharlica, and in the whole Omniverse even, are one people. However, his actions caused destruction, division, and hatred in your people... and those actions have become my responsibility. Therefore, I apologize for everything we've committed against the good nation of America.No matter what we do, we have never been your heroes... because we aren't your heroes... We are Maharlica's heroes... That was our mistake. We promise to be better heroes for your country and correct the actions we've done to you before."
A tear falls from Gabrielle's eye.
Everyone in the crowd applauds Gabrielle. However, she is ashamed of her own actions having done so, as she believed that her father, Miguel, in the end, was a hero. And these people will always see him as the enemy because Doughnut won the argument. Because Doughnut was on their side. Because they shared values with Doughnut. Because Doughnut was the leader of America, and therefore was America. They elected a leader that swayed them, and the fact that every nation in the world, in some way, has chosen their current leader, whether it be in the past, present, or future, it's horrifying to realize that another Trumpet could appear. And another Miguel has to go on to stop them and be painted as the villain. Do we know that this is true? No. Because the winner is good, the loser is evil. That is how history played because it is the winner who writes history. The amount of coverups in the world... is pretty fucked up. And all we could do now is just pray that we vote right...So...Vote for me!Masaru Abatman!Yes! That's right! I am running for President of the Omniverse!
Seriously!? I told you that you can't do that!
Try and stop me! However, I cannot be stopped! Vote for Masaru Abatman to be the rightful ruler of this Omniverse!
Goddamn it!
*tonk!*
OW!!! Fine! But you will rue for this! Rue!
Anyway... back to the story...
"This Simoun JoJo..." said Gabrielle. "Whoever the hell he is... He had a plan."
"What kind of plan!?" asked Narcos. "Get his wife pregnant!? That's fucking sick!"
"No... He wanted her to be pregnant because he believed that his bloodline is the key to stopping Bill and another guy in the farther future." Gabrielle is reading a book Simoun is writing in the DISC.
"So, you think that this was all Simoun's plan?" asked Mercuria.
"This is structure... absolutely genius..." said Miguel. Miguel finishes sketching a beautiful swan eating bread in the water.
"Your drawing?" asked Narcos.
"No! I'm complimenting this Simoun guy! Never heard of him, by the way!" smiled Miguel. "But he seems to be some kind of strange hero who always believed that maybe... one day... we'll all be saved by whoever!"
"You...?" said Gabrielle.
"Not really. The prophecy says that I save the world with a few other people... A team of Cosmic Crusaders... Think of me as Captain America or Superman while maybe the true hero who sacrifices their life is Batman or Iron Man or whatever."
"So... Me?" asked Gabrielle.
"Whoa! Hey! I'm not spoiling anything! Just saying that people have futures! Could be anyone! Even you!"
"Me?"
"What!? No! Haha! No! No..."
"You know our future, but you know nothing about our shared ancestor, Simoun JoJo?"
"Hey! I know a lot of things you don't know! Horrific things, Gabrielle! But yeah... I do not know who Simoun JoJo is."
"Aren't you supposed to be all-knowing?" asked Mercuria.
"For the last time! I'm not God! I'm not Jesus! I'm not the Son! I'm not the Messiah! I'm his User! Think of me as his Uber Driver who brings him to this Planet and will act like a Deus Ex Machina at the end of all this or whatever," said Miguel.
"Wait! Shut up!Something's up!" yelled Gabrielle.
"Hey! I may be just an Uber Driver, but I'm still a person!"
"No! Shush! I'm reading something...Apparently, something happened a hundred and sixty years ago... Called the Steel Ball Run."
"On this Earth!?" asked Narcos.
"No... It's a secret race covered-up by the media that is confirmed to have been found... on EVERY Earth...!"
Everyone looks at each other, confused.
"Some guy controlled everything... It's a guy who Uncle Kars stole the DISC of D4C from on this Earth... This guy's name is...'Funny Valentine...He is a constant in every Universe and is known as the 23rd President of the United States in every conceivable Universe. My studies have confirmed that this person was the original User of D4C, and that is why Kars, or as I knew him, Padre Damaso, was on the run for years, having been hunted by Funny's variants. Funny Valentine is incredibly dangerous because he is cunning and psychotic. He believes that the United States should absorb all the fortune from the world and redirect its misfortune to neighboring countries, making most countries part of the third-world, such as ours. I have a feeling that the United States will one day take our own land, and hopefully, my descendants will fend them off. However, there is an even larger problem beyond our implicit biases... And that comes with a Dream-Demon I've been wary off... And I have mistakenly struck a deal with. These people have been manipulated by a singular being, Funny Valentine, who himself is being manipulated by a strange being from the 2nd Dimension, the Hypoverse, known as Bill Cipher. The strange being is planning to bring a festivity to this Universe that will never end... an anarchic festival that will take away the world's liberty and freedom... possibly even the Omniverse's... He is currently using a Reviser to ensure his victory.Funny Valentine is a constant in every Universe, much like how the Messiah is a constant in every conceivable planet in every conceivable Universe. Those who do not believe in their Messiah will have the Planet become doomed in the very end. Those who still believe are given hope, and therefore, salvation. Cruel indeed the Abrahamic God is, but inherently good in accordance to my faith. This time, Valentine exists in every Universe and had died in many, but nigh-infinite versions still live and are lurking in the Multiverse... It is said that Valentine is immortal. However shall we beat Valentine, we must stay vigilant.My descendants, as you know in my past passages, I have ridiculed the white man... But... this is beyond our bias... We, the good people of the world... and all other worlds... must work together... Even if it's just for once... We have to work together to stop the true enemy...Cipher...As the world slowly begins to forget about innocence... faith... love... kindness... I see that this world will end with the people beginning to hate each other... the world will grow nihilistic... the world will come to hate itself... and its people will hate each other. People will forget what it was like to be a child... What it was like to have salvation... to have God... And I sense that faith will soon disappear. And faithlessness will come...'"
Batman is shown beating a criminal like usual... remembering his parents...
Spider-Man beats up the criminal's ally, and he remembers his Aunt May...
Deadpool and Harley are shown depressedly staring at the stars...
Josuke (Prince) is shown typing on his computer, being depressed in his new job...
Giorno looks at a picture of his father, DIO... and hates him for not giving him a childhood...
Hercules smokes tobacco and depressedly flick between channels while in a video chat with Dark...
Nick remembers his parents as he throws axes into a bullseye...
Irene drinks wine alone in her room...
"'Never... forget hope. The most basic human value that separates us from the animals... We hate each other... and we forget to love... To be kind to each other... To be happy... As I have... My greatest enemy is my bitterness... and I have forgotten what it was like to hope... The destiny of my blood is to destroy those that come in humanity's way... And by humanity, I mean everyone... yes, even the Cryptids... and even the Supernatural that we don't understand...Cipher is random... he will tell you lies... illusions to get in his way... Because he has no power over you unless he manages to trick you.'"
Gabrielle remembers that the people turning into stone in the audience may just have been an illusion, and a tear flows in her eye.
"'Even though I've told you before to never trust anyone... You can trust people... You have to be smart on who you pick... as lying is a basic human instinct...Hope... my children... and together... we shall win.'"
"Geez... Does Bill sounds like a metaphor for the loss of childhood innocence or what?" asked Miguel.
"Jesus Christ..." said Gabrielle, as Narcos then wipes it after noticing it. "Thanks..." she sighed. "What if we're all going to lose in the end?"
"Now..." said Simoun. "I'm going to show you Bill's plan to destroy the Omniverse... I wagered the deal... that he will forget everything and all his memories of his plan will go to me... and that he has to find my DISC before he could find it. Bill broke down... and I know what happens... and how it happens...!"
Gabrielle, out of fear, takes out the DISC.
"What happened?" asked Narcos.
Gabrielle gasps and pants out of fear. "Shit happened."
"Don't worry, Gabrielle. I'll 69 anyone who comes your way..." said Narcos.
Miguel frowns at that statement.
"'86,'" corrected Gabrielle.
"Gesundheit," said Narcos.
Meanwhile...
"Does anyone wanna eat at Big Belly Burger or Delmar's Deli-Grocery?" asked Foo Fighters on the phone.
"Well..." said Jill. "For one thing, Yurielle's unconscious. Kariel's huntin' down Felicity. John's video chattin' with Hercules... An' Sam's doin' somethin' with Gabrielle and the Crusaders..."
"Damn... Too bad!" yelled Foo Fighters. "Bye!"
Foo Fighters turn it off. "Hey, Johnny! Yeah... we gotta wait for the others to continue the race... Whaddya wanna do?"
"I don't know... Maybe we should just watch out for these assholes... HEY!!! YOU!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT!?" asked Johnny.
The old woman slowly runs away from Johnny, whimpering.
"Yeah! That's right! Away from us, sussy baka!!!" yelled F.F.
"Yeah, lady! Stay away or we'll kick your ass!!!" yelled Johnny. "Good job, F.F."
"Thank you, senpai! By the way, how old are you?"
"I'm 42. In my world, it's 2011. Biologically, I'm 18."
"Wow! Our relationship is pretty damned creepy! I'm 3 months old! I'm biologically 18!"
"What relationship!? I broke up with the one I love just four years ago! I'm not ready for a relationship!"
"Don't you wanna have a relationship with me!?"
"Pfft!Maybe..."
"Yay! It's settled! We're boyfriend and girlfriend!"
"Cool."
"Are you immortal, too?"
"I'm dead... so... yes."
"*GASP!!!* My body is dead! Whoa! We have so much in common!"
Suddenly, Chris Hansen passes by the pair and he squints his eyes.
"Sir, I am Chris Hansen. Please take a seat over here," said Chris Hansen.
"What? Why?" asked Johnny.
Chris then smiles and has a selfie with Johnny. Johnny smiles at the camera, too, with a thumbs-up.
F.F. joins in and does a peace sign in the selfie.
"Thanks, Ghost Rider! See ya!" smiled Chris Hansen.
"It's an honor, Chris," saluted Johnny.
The two of them walk toward an alleyway full of stones and gravel on the ground.
Suddenly, a smoke bomb falls before them.
The Rat King appears and coughs, holding his belly in pain. "God! Ugh!"
(theme begins)
"Hello! I am the Rrrrrat King!" yelled the Rat King.
"Whoa!" smiled F.F., applauding him.
"Cool," said Johnny.
The Rat King throws some rocks upward and whispers something as the rats stay fixed midair. He then walks on the stones upward as if they were stairs. "Now..." He then whispers some more and the stones leap up and appear beneath his shoes. "I am the Rat King! And I am here... to gamble... the hell with you!"
"I am honored!" smiled F.F.
"Cool," said Johnny.
"Now..." said The Rat King. "I have assumed many names in my life... But I in all of those names, I have never met the two of you before!"
"Oh!" smiled F.F. "He's from another Universe and I was just born three months ago!"
"Ah! Immigrants! Truly a liberal wonderland!" laughed The Rat King. "I'm joking! I'm also an immigrant!" he laughed. "Illegally," he whispered.
"Whoa! You sound so cool!" smiled F.F. "What's your name?"
"The Rat King!"
"Yeah... But... what's your real name?"
"I've had many names over the years!" he laughed.
"Yes! But... what's your actual name?"
The Rat King stares at F.F. terrifyingly.
"Back off, Rodent," said Johnny.
"Now, now," sneered the Rat King. "You don't have to be that terrible toward me!"
"What do you want?" asked Johnny.
"Nothing! Nothin'! Nothin' siree! Just here to do some wacky zappy things! WAPING!!! HYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
"Okay, crazy person," said Johnny. "You seem like someone we can trust."
"Excellent!" sneered Rat King. "Step right up! Step right up! Step right up and hopefully I won't listen to the voices in my head during this!I wager... The other DISC's locations!"
"How do you know about that!?" asked F.F., as she points her finger at Rat King with a gun finger.
Johnny then woges into a Ghost Rider.
Rat King raises his hands. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on, there, Missy! The Rat King is a good person, do realize, hm?What do you wager?"
"How do you know about that!?" asked F.F.
"Answer the question, Rodent!" yelled Johnny.
"What do you wager? Once you wager, you will play the game. I already wagered the location of the DISCs. You must wager that of an equal value.Or... lose the deal forever!Going once!"
(theme ends)
"Wait... Hold on!"
"Going twice!"
Johnny immediately shakes his hand.
"Yes...! What do you wager...? Not your soul, as you've already sold it to Morningstar... What do you wager...? Ah... I know...!You can wager your... humanity!!!That's all you have, correct?"
Johnny stares at Rat King angrily.
"Humanity... God's bane..." sneered Rat King. "Here's the deal... Now..."
Rat King places a table in front of them. He then places a pencil on the table.
"Snap this in half," said Rat King.
"The table or the pencil?" asked Johnny.
"Yes," said Rat King.
Johnny karate chops the pencil, and therefore, the table.
Both snaps, but snap off 9/16 of themselves.
"Nice!" laughed Johnny.
"Sadly you snapped 9/16 of it... Too bad!" laughed Rat King.
Rat King begins to absorb Ghost Rider's emotions, effectively making him into a vegetable as he stands with an emotionless face.
"WAIT!!! I WAGER MY INTELLECT...!!!" yelled F.F.
Rat King sneers. "I must wager in equal value... I will wager my knowledge of the DISCs and your partner's humanity..."
"Wait!" yelled F.F. "And... a promise!"
"What!?" asked Rat King.
"In my opinion, that wager is not equal... Because this is my life we're talking about..." said F.F. "A promise!"
Rat King spreads his hands and shook them. "Here's the deal! Here is the gamble!"
Rat King places a new table and warps the table away by whispering.
"You like drinking water, right?" sneered Rat King.
Rat King places a glass of water before her. "You must be thirsty..." He pushes the water before her. "The deal is... drink."
The Rat King sneers.
"Do you promise that my body would be able to absorb the water?"
"Wh-What?" asked the Rat King.
"Do you promise that my body would be able to absorb the water? Your plan is to make that impossible. If you say, 'yes,' then you cannot make it impossible. If you say, 'no,' then you wouldn't be able to keep your wager."
Rat King frowns. "Walked right into that one!" he sneers. "AH HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Too bad my wife's masturbating in the trash right now! And she can't see any of this! Isn't that right, Marilyn!?"
Rat King stares at the mannequin, now with a balloon with a goody smile on it, which is in a suggestive position.
"Hell yeah! Jerry!" yelled Rat King. "Get the camera! Let's post the poor girl on YouTube!"
F.F. tries to drink the water but ends up being unable to swallow the water. "Imposible!" she thought. "But... I made sure it was impossible for me to -... *GASP!!!* I just asked to be able to absorb the water...! But drinking it is impossible!!!"
F.F. spits it back in the glass, and not even her saliva was left in the water. It's as if the water is absolutely undrinkable and unmixable. She thinks. "How!? How will I drink the water!? Wait... I'm algae! I could inject it with a makeshift bone claw that acts like a syringe-!!! Wait... I need to sterilize the water!!!"
F.F. begins to boil the water by heating it up by turning her finger into the abdomen of the bombardier beetle. She then evolves the abdomen over and over again to the point where it is able to boil the water with a single touch.
"Ah, ah...! But you are unable to drink it via shapeshifting!" laughed The Rat King.
F.F. frowns. "I'll be back, Johnny! Love you!" F.F. blushes. "I mean it's too early for that! So... See ya later alligator!"
F.F. immediately runs out of the alleyway and runs around the streets of New York while carrying the water. She closes the water with some makeshift skin on it and tries to find the hotel where Gabrielle is in.
"Shit! Why didn't I bring a portal gun!?" asked F.F. as she slides on the streets. "I have to find the hotel!"
F.F. runs left and right around the streets. She then sees the hotel where they're currently staying. "There!" yelled F.F.
F.F. runs into the hotel.
Suddenly, Rat King teleports in front of her, floating with Johnny, who is in a vegetative state. Is body is scraped on the ground and bumps into dog shit, dog piss, rotten foods, and trash.
"Hey! At least lift him up and respect your hostage!" yelled F.F.
"Sure thing, kid!" sneered Rat King.
Suddenly, F.F. trips and nearly drops the glass, but she morphs a tentacle and catches it. She then runs into the hotel.
"Hey!" yelled the concierge.
F.F. shows her ID.
"Room 241," said the concierge. "Enjoy your stay!"
F.F. grapples the key with a web she creates. She then enters the elevator and is with Rat King and Johnny, who are beside her.
"Well? Why are you two so loyal to your little friends...? I, for one, think anarchy is a good thing!"
"You know about the anarchic business those damned Rock Humans want to start with our nation?" asked F.F. "Y'know that I could kill ya, right?"
"Oh... Foo Fighters... Why does this matter? Life does not matter... Foo Fighters."
*PEW!!!*
The plankton bullet shot from F.F.'s finger disappears when it reaches Rat King's forehead.
"I am an unkillable aberration," said Rat King. "Suffering... Reality is suffering... I've lost hope so many years ago... Why do you fight...?"
"Why are you in our way!?" asked F.F.
"To have some fun... Being alone for years is ultimately depressing... because, in the end, you will always be alone. You will lose innocence... You will lose your innocence... and you will begin to look for a purpose... That search for a purpose will eat you up inside... And when you have that purpose, you will still go mad trying to feed it as if it was your own precious child..."
"You don't know anything about that! There's still hope, Rat King! We could beat the bad guys!"
"Oh, F.F... There is no hope..." sneered Rat King. "When will you learn that children like you will have to grow up... and lose their faith? Faithlessness appears because people grow up. People lose hope... and that is exactly why you will all perish... Why all of us will perish..."
"Welp! I'm still pretty damned hopeful!" yelled F.F.
F.F. runs outside the elevator and Rat King follows.
F.F. slams the door open.
"Gabrielle! I need you to-!"
The room is deserted... It looks like there was a fight as every object is broken and lying on the ground...
"You... F.F... HAVE FAILED-!!!"
F.F. grabs the syringe and sucks the fluid up as she then injects it into her veins.
F.F. yells out of pain as the sterilized water immediately rushes into her system, causing her to fall on the ground, unconscious.
"Ah... well..." Rat King drops Johnny, who falls unconscious. "You have won..."
Rat King places another Memory Gun on the table. "You have telepathy, so surely, you could hear me right now... Read the Memory Gun... And save them... You have been proven worthy...Call me insane... but in my world, it's only logical to see if you're truly capable of saving us all...I may have lost hope... But you haven't, F.F... Gabrielle JoJo... Yurielle JoJo...Find your friends... As I am only a watcher..."
Rat King walks outside the room and the door shuts close.
Gabrielle is in a chamber, unconscious sitting at a table while Laughs N. Love, AKA, Funny Valentine, sits before her, nonchalantly waiting.
Yurielle's eyes immediately open and blankly stares up.