Gustave the Vampire

My ears perked up a little as they heard every little noise in the area.

Rich trophy wives with buttplugs in their ass, vibrating slowly... a few toothpicks on the ground rolling, the boots of the waiters as they serve pizza...

Then- I heard a small yet loud click.

*Tck*

The knob of the door turned slowly as the wedge of the divine slab pushed slightly. A gust of wind entered, as the air filled in the room inside.

What is a door?

Nobody ever thinks of this question. However, I... Irakiel El Navah does, maybe because I have plenty of time in my hands or rather brain or maybe because that's how amazing I am.

That is right. I am fucking amazing.

Doors. What an Irakiel word. If I ever meet the inventor of this word, I will grant him my profound lessons.

Lesson number one. Either fuck a billion women or wank till wrinkled. Warning: Does not work for humans.

The Post-Nut Clarity hits differently.

*THuuuuuuuuuummmmMMMMM!*

OH YES I FORGOT DOORS!

So... What is a door?