The pain
"The first question is...." the announcing lady's tone raised up my excitement.
"Mmm...when did you become an Yungie ? (The actor's fandom name)
She hold her mic for me, I slowly bend towards it and answer with a shocking mood,
"When .... when I was a middle schooler " my words tingles at that time.
"Wow...really? It means you fallen for him at middle school. So now how old are you?" she ask on me with a little smile.
"I'm a late nine teenager" I answer with a confidence at that time.
" Omo....Omo...It means your Oppa is in your same age !
What a miracle..." she looked at the audience.
"Awww ... it's so cool" they shouted and cheered for me. I look at Jae Yung Shi ,he sweetly smile back on me. I slightly nodded with a blushy face.
"Okay....now you have to play a little game, it will be fun, isn't it guys????" she asked again from the cheering audience.
I was so afraid now, so what she is going to do now? Ahhh ....this is a real headache....my mind says to run away from here now. But, I can't do such a thing In front of a such a huge audience. So I waited with patience.
"Right,
now here is a word note box on my hand.
So you want to pick a word note from this box randomly and say the dialogue written in it for your Oppa, Ok?" she ask with a bright face.
'Ughhh....this is so annoying !!!!
How can I say a dialogue Infront of such a huge crowd? Even I'm not a celebrity or such a brave person ....I hesitate to do it and stay still.
"Come on girl....come on girl..try it soon...try it soon " the audience try to cheer me up. But it risen up my excitement more and more. However finally I thought to do it soon and escape from this awkward stage.
"Ohh ....she is picking one !!!!
What can it be ????" the announcing lady shouted to the audience and they cheer back with a loud noise.
I took the word note and open it,
'Omooo...ottoke .....ottoke I have to say this dialogue In front of them all?
Is this a fan meeting or a bullying and teasing game ????' my mind scolded me many times while remembering the question Why did I came for such a silly place.
It's topic was written as "The secret Crush"
Every time when I saw the word 'Crush' I remind my first love, Oh I'm sorry....it's not my first love, it's my first unrequited love. It means 'Yoo Joon'. When I try to avoid and forget those memories ,they try to pop up like this. Involuntarily my eyes began to pour with tears but I try to bear them and I turn to Jae yung Shi's side to awake my voice,
"I have always been waiting for you....
But you never noticed me....
Can you understand my pain ?
Ya...don't leave Jaeyung-ahh ....
I really like youuu !!!!"
at the last sentence I couldn't have the strength to bear my tears more longer. I felt my cheeks are already wetted , also those words....those words ....will be real if I had the braveness to confess my feelings for Yoo joon at high school days.
And also....today he confused me after all !!!!
It fed up me a lot ,so involuntarily the dialogue become emotional because of him. I forget about Jae yung-shi after all.
Suddenly I remind that I was in a fan meeting and in front of a audience, So I awake from my deep thoughts and look around ,
The audience staring at me with a shocking reaction and the announcing lady and camera men also already shocked. I look up at Jae yung Shi, he..he is also staring at me with a surprised expression.
Ohhh no....What did I do ????
I become sooo emotional at the situation .Ahh...it's so pitiful. I try to be normal but all the others seems to be emotional for me.S o I don't want to bear my tears anymore I start to cry again....
And suddenly Jae yung Shi came towards me and bend towards me,
"Ya..are you okay?" he asked with kind hearted smile .I just nodded and wipe my own cheeks.
"It's ok, you can cry.
The first love isn't work always.
It's end with gifting some experiences to us. So don't hold your sorrow alone.
And do you remember my saying,
'Yungies are always together to bear their happiness and sorrow 'Isn't ?
So now share your sorrow with us ...." those words encourage my confidence ,So I start to cry as much as I can,
And at that time he hugs me to comfort me with his warm heart. Actually at that moment I was freeze.I didn't wish such a warmful reaction from my fav idol any day. And as a fangirl it's felt as a sweet and a magical dream for me.
Also truly I want to say it's really....really Warm my heart ......