Logic? #195

"This is so goddamned stupid..." I muttered, scratching my head as I watched Tommy Monaghan lurking around Barbara's hospital like some serial killer waiting for his victim.

I'd wondered what Selina would do when I told her The fucking Joker was coming her way, and let me tell you. I was profoundly disappointed and unimpressed by her reaction.

Out of all the things she could have done, she decided to call Tommy "The Hitman" Monaghan when even Nightwing and Batwoman failed to catch the crazy bastard.

I mean, what the hell is Hitman going to do that those two couldn't? Kill the Joker? He'd have to catch him first, and that was so way out of Monaghan's grasp it wasn't even funny.

Monaghan brought his friend along, the one with the stupid name, but that wouldn't change much either.

Selina might have been better off calling the police since they could throw bodies at him, which would be more effective than two street thugs who tended to involve themselves in satanic shit with some light military training.

Hitman might have minor superpowers like mind reading, but even Martian Manhunter couldn't get into The Joker's head. That's how fucked up that guy's brain is.

"Where the fuck is Batman when you need him...?" I muttered, sighing as I turned away from my laptop's screen out of frustration at the comic book logic that seemed to govern this world.

Nightwing and Selina were by no means dumb. In fact, they were some of the most intelligent people you could meet and every bit calm and collected as you'd expect them to be.

I had no idea how or why they would make such stupid mistakes.

Then there's the fact that The Joker was on the loose, wreaking havoc left and right, all the while Batman was nowhere in sight, which made even less esne.

In my frustration, I sighed and got off the couch to start pacing around the hideout. "So much for all the popcorn I bought..." I grunted in annoyance as I looked at the numerous snacks on my couch.

I resumed pacing, growing more frustrated with every step I took until I couldn't take it anymore. "Fuck it..." I said to no one in particular as I retrieved my phone and dialed a specific number.

"Hey... yeah... sorry, but your day is far from over..."

...

Tommy Monaghan went still, the cigarette falling out of his mouth as he noticed an army of men dressed in green suits and strange hats approach the hospital, spearheaded by a group of strangely dressed men and women.

The three people that stood out the most were the tall, round identical twins and the short man wearing a clown costume and a black top hat standing between them.

Then there was a man wearing an enormous metallic mask with two protruding tusks that made him look like a walrus and another wearing a metallic unicorn visage with a longhorn at the top.

There was also a woman dressed as a handyman and another one with colorful hair and a tomahawk haircut, but they were not nearly as flashy or gaudy as the five men with them.

"The Wonderland Gang..." Monaghan muttered as he loaded his rifle and stuck closer to his cover. "Fucking great..." He went on as he turned to spit on the cigarette to extinguish it.

"If things go to shit..." Monaghan said as he raised his walkie-talkie to his mouth, speaking to his friend. "We are out of here, Nat. There's no point going down with these people..." he continued, to which his friend replied with a simple yup.

"We still help them if we can. Give it your best until then..." Monaghan said as he put away the radio without waiting for a reply as he peeked through the cover, raising his rifle.

Before he could open fire, another gaudy man appeared from the army of goons. He was thin and tall with an elongated face and sinister eyes that shined in a mad light.

"There you are, clown..." Tommy muttered, grinning as he turned the rifle to the newcomer, aiming through the scope. He prepared to pull the trigger, only to freeze as the man turned to him and looked him straight in the eye.

The thin man's grin widened as he gestured to the building behind him, and Monaghan's gaze unconsciously followed his finger, only for a bullet to go right through it before he could even see what was there.

"You're supposed to wait until he sees you before you shoot, you god damned imbecile..." The Joker said as he turned to the sniper in the building behind him.

He reached into his inner pocket and retrieved a revolver, aiming at the stunned sniper. The clown emptied the chamber before anyone could realize it, missing all of his shots, much to everyone's silent amusement, as no one dared laugh at him.

The Joker angrily threw the gun on the ground and retrieved a grenade, which he threw in the sniper's direction. It hit him right in the forehead before exploding, shocking everyone present.

"Now that the buzz kill is out of the way..." The Joker said, adjusting the collars of his suit as he turned to the short man in the green hat, unfazed by the explosion and the raging fire behind him.

"You know the drill, Tetch, my old chum..." The clown added, grinning as he gestured to the hospital. "I don't want anything breathing inside the hospital..." he went on, his grin widening and growing even more maniacal.

"Men, women, children, the elderly, fucking kittens, and puppies, I don't care..." The Joker continued. "I don't wanna see anything moving other than Barbara Gordon when I get in there..." he concluded, his tone deadly serious.

"You're the boss," Jarvis Tetch, The Mad Hatter, replied with a shrug as he turned to his army of brainwashed goons. "You heard the man. It's an un-birthday party...!" He added with a grin that matched The Joker's previous expression, to which the latter immediately broke into loud laughter.

"It's no (wonder) you and I get along so well, Tetch..." The Joker said, slapping his tight as tears flew out of his eyes, almost choking as he laughed like the maniac he was.

"We have the same (wonderful) sense of humor...!"

...

Selina winced at the sound of gunshots echoing outside. Nervously, the Brunnete peeked through the window, and her expression only worsened as she witnessed Monaghan and his friend falling head first into the ground from their vantage points.

She raised a hand and stopped Jason from peeking outside. "Looks like we're on our own..." The Brunette said as she shook her head at Jason with a hard-to-read expression.

"If... if things don't look good... I want you to get out of here..." Selina said as she put a hand on Jason's shoulder, looking straight in the eye through his domino mask.

"We have to do our best to protect Barbra..." She asked, tightening her hold on Jason's shoulder. "But that doesn't mean we should throw away our lives for nothing..." she added, firmly shaking her head at the young vigilante.

"If it doesn't look like we could win, you run..." Selina remarked, sounding and looking more grave than Jason had ever seen, hence his lack of rebuttal as he could only listen.

"You don't look back. You don't think. You just run, and you run fast as you can..." The Brunette went on. "Do you understand me...?" She asked, and Jason looked like he was about to start arguing.

Only, he didn't get the chance.

The loud police sirens echoing interrupted him, to which Selina's face immediately began shifting expressions as her brain went overdrive, her survival instinct kicking in.

"Quick, lose the costume..." Selina said, her expression relaxing as she let out a sigh. "We need to hurry up and get ready..." She added as she pushed Jason's shoulder to urge him to move.

Selina didn't stay still either as she began moving towards Barbara's room, already carrying on with the process of getting undressed from her Catwoman costume, much to Jason's shock.

However, he quickly snapped out of it and moved to the adjacent room to change back into civilian clothes. He came out as soon as he finished changing and found Selina waiting for him in the hallway.

"Here, take this..." Selina said as she reached into her purse and retrieved a pistol, which she extended toward Jason, who could only stare at her in confusion.

"Stop gawking and take it, kid," Selina said, grimacing as she shoved the gun into Jason's shoulder, causing him to pick it up out of reflex more than anything else.

"But Bruce--" Jason said, clearly intent on arguing, only for Selina to cut him off with a hand to his face and a hardening expression, causing him to swallow his words.

"I don't see Bruce anywhere, do you...?" Selina asked through gritted teeth, causing Jason to sigh in defeat as he turned the gun in his hand to get a feel for it.

"That's what I thought. Bruce could go fuck himself for all I care right now..."

...

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