It Hurts Like Hell

[Mandy's Diary st Senior Grade]

"I need to go to the toilet. Can you wait a moment?" I asked Justin as I walked out of the auditorium. Lingering in the auditorium, sitting next to Justin, and waiting for the show to finish made me break out in a cold sweat.

Replying to my question, Justin nodded his head. "I'll be waiting for you here."

The corners of my lips pulled up, filling my face with a wide smile. I quickly went to go to the toilet, so he didn't have to wait long and bored for me. Even in the toilet, strange looks are still being thrown at me. I glanced at the girls around me, pursed my lips sideways in the face of such savage predatory gazes. Oh my gosh, I just fulfilled Justin's request to accompany him to a theater show, but have been bombarded with annoying stares from his fans? The angel above my shoulder patted my head in concern. No, I'm not afraid of them. The only person I fear in this world is Magdalena Bedington, Justin's grandmother who is super duper scary like Muriel in Hansel and Gretel and Voldemort is put together. She is a socialite and the school's biggest donor and has automatically been in and out of Jordan High School to give a speech at every major event at this school.

As soon as I finished washing my hands and brushing my hair with my fingers, I exited the toilet, ignored the jealous glances around m,e and stepped out like a prima donna.

I stopped when I heard laughter bubbling beside the auditorium. I saw Justin standing with his friends I didn't recognize—probably his friends from the basketball club—having something to say. Taking a deep breath, I continued on my way but stopped again when I heard my name being called.

"No, Mandy is too silly."

"I thought you'd be willing to break up with your girl for the sake of dating a strange girl like her." The next laugh rang out again, along with the astonishment I felt. Does Justin already have a girlfriend? I opened my mouth slightly surprised. How could I not know he already had a girlfriend? And… why did he invite me then?

"Daisy doesn't like theatrical performances," Justin replied, "so I had to ask her. If Daisy wanted to, I couldn't possibly invite an alien-like Mandy."

What?! What did he call me?! My mouth is wide open. How dare he call me alien! Why would he say such a hurtful thing?! I shook my head faintly, not believing my ears. His words pierced my heart deeply, slicing it into the smallest pieces. Look, now my eyes are hot and wet. I'm going to cry here and it's a shame.

"Whoa, look behind you, Justin. That's Mandy."

Justin jerked his head back, gasping at the sight of me standing still with teary eyes, staring at him with a hurt look. I looked away, turning my body to escape the corridor before they laughed at me, mocked me, and humiliated me.

"Mandy!"

I ignored Justin's call back there. I walked faster, lowering my head feeling the pool of tears that had started to gather together in my eyelids, falling without permission. I wiped the tears from my eyes, still running fast away from the place, and ran before Justin caught up to me. It made me sicker. I don't want to see his face. I don't want to see his face.

I don't want to see his face!

I stopped on the sidewalk, turning my attention to the empty streets and not finding a single-vehicle. It's too late, and I'm sure it must be hard to see taxis passing down this street in the middle of the night. I took a deep breath, letting the night wind blow my tears dry on my cheeks. My feet move on and on, turning the corner at a fast pace before Justin catches up with me and sees me crying. I don't want to be pitied. Being pitied is much more painful than being insulted, believe me.

Still keeping Justin's voice and words, I disappeared into the darkness, ignoring Justin's faint cry behind me. Ignoring the sound of my broken heart.

Don't cry, Mandy. Do not Cry. You're used to this, right? You're used to hearing people make fun of you, right?

Shit, I'm getting louder and louder the sound of my sobs in the middle of a deserted street like this. Being ridiculed by the person I like hurts more than being bullied for the rest of my life. fuck.