Side Story 17: Childe's Bizzare Adventures

The nice little celebration that turned into a pajama party went on for a bit more and once the people's high was gone. They were now more curious about the elephant in the room. Why was Kusanali there.

"Yo, Kusanali. Why are you here? You're supposed to be taking care of Sumeru right?" Ein asked and the smol archon tilted her head.

"Umu, three archons. I felt them close by, I got curious so I went there to see." Kusanali answered plainly and Ein thought it was such a mundane answer.

"Well, we aren't really doing anything except celebrate something. Hey, you're the archon of wisdom right? Then that probably means you are a scholar or naturally curious about the world?" Ein had an idea and asked the small archon.

"Un, I am. Why though?" She was curious and tilted her head again, so he took a picture and sent it to Theresa. "How about I give you knowledge?" He gave a grin and Zhongli, at the back of Ein kept making cross gestures with his hands to make Kusanali decline.

"Knowledge?" Her eyes lit up and he nodded, she didn't even thought about it much and accepted basically instantly.

"Hmmm, I guess I'll show you the wonders of the world." Ein poked her forehead and introduced Kusanali to the wonders of the internet as she got connected with the world wide web.

Kusanali froze and Zhongli immediately got downtrodden. As he knew that the deal was too good to be true, now. Who knows what Kusanali learned and Zhongli thought it might be insanely dangerous, or extremely beneficial.

"S-such knowledge, t-this is unreal..." Kusanali internalized and he helped her by browsing some things related to science. "Cool right? Everything just at your fingertips. I've got a suggestion to you though, tread lightly. And remember that social media, especially twitter is an abomination that needs to go. You will see the worst in humans, how idiotic they can be." He warned her and Kusanali nodded, as she knew that humans can come up with some pretty weird shit.

"Hey, Ein-sama... What did you show her anyway?" Zhongli needed to make sure that Kusanali won't bring ruin to Teyvat so he asked.

"Hmmm, you're an adult. So maybe I can show you more? Be wary though." He poked Zhongli's forehead and he saw all the weird shit in the internet. Making Zhongli frown heavily as the information hit him like a truck. He had to sit down to internalize everything and Xiao went up to him, worried.

"Zhongli-sama? W-what did you see?" He was curious as well as his master was rarely phased by things. And the information he received must be something grand, like how mortals could achieve true immortality or something.

"I... I've seen things Xiao. You do not want to know." Morax shivered as he recalled the so called ships and obscene things that were made at his image. That's right, porn of him and all kinds of it at that.

"O-okay..." Xiao did not ask any further as he thought that his mortal mind cannot handle it. Meanwhile, Kusanali was having the time of her life. Still not falling to the downward abyss of the internet.

"Remember Kusanali, be a responsible internet user okay?" Ein patted her head and she nodded with a beaming smile.

"Ein-nii! I want to know too!" Klee woke up after having a nice nap and as a child, she wanted in too of course.

"Okay, little one I'll show you something good." He smiled and Jean didn't like where this was going, so she tried to stop them. But she was too late and he already gave her the forbidden knowledge of how to make chemical and thermonuclear bombs. Not that she would be able to make it anyway.

"W-woah..." Klee looked at her bombs in her backpack and immediately thought they were lackluster compared to the modern explosives. Ein then gave her a block of c4 and a detonator. "This is a little gift from me, you know how to use it right?" He smiled and she beamed at him. Thinking of leaving it on some hilichurl camp and wait for them to enter, then detonating it for some sick explosions.

"Ein-nii! You're really the best in the world!" She hugged his leg and he patted her head. Chuckling at her addiction to explosions.

The party then finished at a pleasant note and Jean received a sizeable bag of weed for her to relax with Lisa. It was private time now and everyone except his lovers went home. Though Eula stayed as she wanted to know more information about him coming from them.

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Some time earlier, in Liyue. Childe, who was now a woman. Was drinking heavily as she got depressed. Not able to fight to the maximum, the changes of her anatomy was too sudden and even with all her experiences in fighting. She felt like her peak was gone, the art she polished to perfection is forfeit and Childe thought of just going back to Snezhnaya, taking care of her siblings with the money that she has.

"Ugh, damnnnn you! Einheri!" Her speech slurred and the obviously new hormones made her emotional. "Hic... What am I gonna do now? I can't fight to my fullest... The thrill of battle will never be there anymore." She cried and was lost.

"Hey beautiful. Why don't you fight us instead? Gahahahaha! I'll teach you the thrill of battle in bed." A drunk pervert went up to her as Childe looked like a supermodel. 6 foot tall, with long and messy hair, azure eyes that could get you lost in them, and not to mention her dynamite body.

"Huh?" Tartaglia asked with a hiss and she was pissed as hell. Glaring daggers at him, if looks could kill, he would be dead 10 times over. But alas, the average joe's horny mind is too narrow sighted to see if a woman was not interested.

"Come on babe, how about we get out of here and I'll show you a whole new worl-" Before he could finish his sentence, Childe gave a kick to his chin that launched him through the ceiling. She might not be as strong as before, but she sure as hell still gave strength that couldn't be matched by regular people.

And her newfound flexibility surprised her. As her leg was basically parallel to her face after the kick and her muscles did not strain for even a single bit.

"W-woah. I feel, so flexible." She had an epiphany. "So what if I'm a woman now, the one who have taught me how to battle is a woman..." Her master that taught her for three months is a woman. And she beat her ass with just using one hand in pure combat, without a vision.

"Yes... I just have to be like master." She then had newfound determination to maximize her new body's traits. Master it to perfection and even reach new heights in her combat prowess. And when she was about to go out to practice on some ruin guard or dangerous wildlife. She heard news that changed everything.

"Oi! Did you guys hear!? We adventurers can now get work at a new place! Ein-sama made a labyrinth that has monsters in it and even newbies could safely practice! It even could test the mettle of the most experienced and veteran adventurers!" A guy came in informing everyone of the new gimmick Ein made to make the quality of life better.

Childe propped up and she thought it was perfect. Not only was it made by him, she would be the strongest because of it. Poetic justice, she thought.

"I'll go there... And just you wait Einheri, I'll be the strongest ever because of your own machinations! Or my name isn't Tartaglia!" She huffed, but she felt dizzy. "Ahhh, after I sober up that is." She ordered some drinks to become sober and bided her time. As she needed to be at her 100% if the labyrinth truly could test even the hardiest of veteran adventurers.

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After a few hours, Childe geared up and went to the labyrinth. She thought it just looked like a cave, but expect the unexpected. And it has saved her life multiple times. "Hello, miss! Want to enter the dungeon? This is the fee, and no fighting inside or trying to do dumb crap okay? We already have multiple people in the correction facilities. And I have to tell you, it's not pretty in there, especially at the cells where they tried to murder someone." The receptionist said and Childe nodded.

The receptionist saw those who tried murdering someone get skinned alive. Piece by piece, his skin removed square inch by square inch with a rusty knife that was sharp enough to barely cut skin. Then, everything was patched up back haphazardly, turning them into a Frankenstein.

Childe then entered after a small breath. Psyching herself up to master her body and a new way of combat that was different fundamentally.

"Here it goes." She went inside the cave and disappeared, entering the 1st floor. Surprising her greatly as she teleported and the labyrinth was neat. Not like how it looked like outside at all, with paved ways and brick walls. Along with lights that made you see the way.

She roamed around and finally saw her enemies. A group of kobolds and other level 1 monsters like slimes, horned rabbits, etc.

She scoffed and thought they were pretty proper for newbies. She selected a new weapon as her back and arm strength lacked power now. A polearm, capitalizing on her flexibility and newfound agility.

Childe rushed at them, but she still felt awkward as her legs were longer and her torso was shorter. But matching her experience, she kicked with more torque and her leg was like a whip. Taking the head off of a kobold, surprising her.

"Woah, my kick takes a little longer to execute. But it packs more punch with the momentum and speed." She got excited and used her pole arm to wipe the monsters off the face of Teyvat. Noticing that she could hit more angles, could bend much easier, and be more unpredictable.

She was ecstatic and could feel the possibilities. Her blood boiling as she thought of new ways how to fight.

And as time passed, she got better, more agile, coordinated, and most of all, lethal. Childe smooth sailed through the floors, but of course. It starts to adapt to the strength of the individual and the difficulty ramped up starting at the 50th floor.

The enemies were more humanoid. Wielding weapons, smarter, unpredictable as they had their own personal styles just like humans. And they were damned strong, testing her skills to the limit.

"Damn. The enemies here are strong. Just what I've been looking for!" Childe rushed into battle, using her vision to their maximum capabilities. Limit testing herself and her skills.

She is fighting a group of nagas that have spears, swords, bows as a cohesive group. The back line predicted her trajectory and shot their arrows that could pierce through solid stone. And Childe redirected them with the slightest of touch with her water. Her focus, the most intense it has ever been. A single mistake, would cost her life.

She turned her water into steam and tiny droplets rammed the arrows, making them miss just millimeters on her body. Childe then did a feint with her pole arm and created short swords of water. Skewering the vanguard and quickly disorienting the ones that would pierce her with spears. Giving them concussions via short bursts of water like a grenade.

She then dodged the arrows with her flexibility. And along with the lower center of gravity because of her hips, she had better balance and maneuvered her way through their attacks.

"This! This is what I live for! Come at me!" Her blood boiled in excitement that she hasn't felt in a long time. Her form, like flowing water, unlike the rigid and strong one she once had. Feeling as though her vision resonated with her body, a perfect match.

And Childe's descent in the labyrinth continued. Her technique, being refined more and more. Creating new ones and improving past moves that suited her now.

Childe reveled on it forgetting her duties as she engaged in perpetual combat like the junkie she was. And the labyrinth provided more challenging enemies as time went on. Her clothes were torn, her weapon ragged, her body riddled with wounds. But she continued to fight, breaking through her limits each time she succeeded.

And when she finished the run. Returning to the surface, Childe was enlightened. She imagined herself now, fighting with her past self. And it wouldn't be a contest, she has grown stronger in the labyrinth in a matter of days that she thought was impossible. That's why she sought after formidable warriors, to improve. But they were rare and here in Liyue, she could do that with the opponents inside the labyrinth.

Childe was refreshed, feeling good like never before. Stretching her pleasantly tired muscles and sighed in satisfaction at her gains. Gaining insight in battle that only real life and death fights could give.

The rush she just had was instantly broken though, when she saw Ein looking at her with a thumbs up. "You've improved, I thought you'd have trouble with your new anatomy." Ein commented and her eyes dilated with anger. But she remembered the fights she had in the dungeon and suddenly felt complicated because she has achieved far more.

"Y-you... I don't even know if I want to turn back." Childe couldn't decide and was confused. In a dilemma, she was stronger than ever and felt like the path forward to strength was clear. But of course, the change was sudden and Ajax. The big brother was still her identity that she could not let go. What would her brothers and sisters say? What about her parents?

"Ahhh, I know that look. My friends felt complicated once too, I mean. It is a pretty drastic change isn't it? I've tried it too, pretty fun times." Ein chuckled and remembered Kevin and Su turning, though he changed them back after MEI had her fun. But they still morph once in a while.

Ein then went up to her and slowly turned into a woman. Making Childe's eyes widen in shock at the woman in front of her that could lay waste to countries with her fatal charm, a Femme Fatale. "Oh no, she's fucking hot." (pic)

Ein then smirked at the shocked Childe. "It's not that bad honestly, I've tried it a couple of times. Pretty enlightening experience, besides. You don't have the choice of turning back, that's your punishment." She traced her lips and Childe was still shocked out of her mind.

"What? Never seen a woman as beautiful as me before? Kukuku~ See you around Tartaglia, if you have any questions. I'll gladly help you." Ein winked at her and returned to his original form, leaving behind an aroused and confused Childe.

"Hot damn, t-that was both weird and hot..." Childe then felt something wet between her legs. "I... I need to take care of this." She couldn't get him and his female form out of her mind, bugging the hell out of her. As she got the hots for both of his forms. Her female body wanting his masculinity, while her mind went on tangents that he could turn into a woman and that wasn't gay.

"Fuck! What are you doing to me! Argh!" She agonized and got extremely bothered. Feeling a tingle inside, confused as hell and aroused. Not a good combination at all.

Meanwhile, Ganyu and Shenhe saw what he did and looked at him funny. "You can turn into a girl!?" Ganyu asked incredulously and Shenhe gestured with her eyes that she wanted to know more about it as well.

"Yeah? Of course I can. I've gotten some pretty ridiculous requests from my harem, though they don't want to turn into men, thankfully. I'm not comfortable with that." He sighed and remembered that Elysia wanted to try him as a woman. And of course, everybody else insisted as well, thinking that they could beat him at their own game. Which they didn't.

Ganyu then fidgeted while Shenhe was deep in thought. "Hey, I wanna try that too!" Her curiosity was piqued and Ganyu was surprised by her words. But she didn't really retort and just looked at Ein with an expectant gaze.

"Hmm, okay then. I guess you girls are curious huh? Not that I'm complaining really." He shrugged and Ganyu blushed heavily.

"I just wanna try it you know? And you looked really pretty earlier, not that you aren't handsome or something. It's just, different." Ganyu dug deeper and he chuckled.

"Stop explaining Ganyu. You're digging your own grave you know? I understand anyways." He shrugged and Shenhe nodded.

"It's always the quiet ones." Shenhe joked and they both laughed at Ganyu that pouted at them.

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Thanks for reading everyone, Childe is not forgotten of course. The dungeon is a perfect training ground for her. But Ein just had to open a new door. Anyways ciao.