Ch 5 Confrontations And Considerations

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Given time to think, as two weeks later Perseus still hadn't responded, Lily started to realize that she might have been a little too brusque in her letter to the boy. Perhaps she might have attempted a less...provocative message? Really, all she had been trying to do was thank the guy for his help in dealing with Potter, not hit him with a verbal beatdown.

Still, she had little time to worry right then, for Slughorn's class was about to begin in...actually, she was a tad early, come to think of it. Deciding to not spend all her time brooding, she glanced around for something interesting to distract her. Potter was there, which she supposed was interesting to see-he might be a pretty darn talented wizard, but he generally avoided arriving early unless needed-but not exactly what she had in mind. However, perhaps unavoidably, her eyes soon fell upon a figure seated in the back.

Severus was already there, alone at the desk typically shared between him and his friends. As was usual of late, he didn't even seem aware that she existed, either ignoring or not noticing the fact that Lily was now staring at him. Rather annoyed by this, Lily started glaring at the Slytherin boy, mentally daring him to show some form of reaction.

For the next several minutes, this state of affairs continued, until Slughorn finally arrived. The balding man looked around with his usual air of geniality until his gaze fell upon Severus' table. A frown on his face, he quickly strode over to the Slytherins, whereupon Lily suddenly realized that Mulciber still had yet to arrive, leaving Severus alone.

Slughorn spoke to Severus, his expression slowly changing from an annoyed frown to a rather cunning sort of look when the younger Slytherin replied. Although Lily couldn't hear what he was saying, she started to feel a growing apprehension as the man gestured in her direction. At this, Severus' dark eyes followed Slughorn's gesture, fixing themselves heatedly on her for a moment before nodding to the pudgy man beside him.

Lily's sense of apprehension grew further as Slughorn walked over to her. Placing a hand on her shoulder, the Potions professor spoke quietly to her. (She noted with frustration that Potter and Black were trying to lean-in so they could hear what he said.)

"Miss Evans, would it be too much of a trouble to sit with Mr. Snape this class? The potion we are working on recommends a minimum of two potioneers working on it at the same time, and if he lacks a partner he might be unable to complete the day's assignment."

Lily frowned. Like Slughorn, she knew perfectly well that Severus had probably found some way to do the potion on his own a long time ago, whichever potion it was... No, what Slughorn was really doing was trying to get her to sit with her former friend, something she definitely didn't want to do. Moreover, she was sure that Snape was equally unhappy with the idea...wasn't he? Glancing at Severus, her eyes widened as she realized that he was staring at her, eyes blank but focused. He seemed to be either attempting telepathy or else trying to read her response.

'Does he...want me to sit with him?' Lily asked herself, utterly confused. It didn't make sense; ever since his solitary apology, Severus hadn't shown any signs of wanting to continue their friendship, and instead he'd opted to ignore her completely.

"Miss Evans?"

Suddenly realizing she hadn't said anything in reply to Slughorn's question, Lily stuttered out, "Uh, s-sure. I guess that would be alright." Not looking at Severus, she quickly grabbed her things and slipped into the seat across from him. She didn't know what she was thinking, much less what he was thinking. It wasn't like he cared about her anymore, and she would never forgive him for betraying her like he had, so why was she even there?

Genial once again, Slughorn then proceeded with the lesson, rubbing his hands together and pointing his wand at the blackboard. "Open your books to page 227. The potion we will be working on should be listed there, assuming that you have the most recent edition." He glanced over at Severus, before continuing with a wide smile, "If not, it should be on page 246."

Lily nodded, opening her book, then jerked back in shock; the potion they were going to be working on was Skele-Gro, ironically the very same potion that she had ordered Perseus to improve. Although an interesting coincidence, what really had Lily shocked was the fact that it was perfectly easy to brew the potion one one's own. Severus hadn't needed a partner in the slightest. Slughorn had lied!

While Lily was glaring daggers at her professor, Severus suddenly spoke in the same neutral tones that Lily had begun to utterly detest. "You know the ingredients, right? Go get them and I'll get started." He crouched low, carefully performing the normal pre-brewing check-ups, not hurrying through the process like Black and Potter usually did.

Lily, nodding, went off to get the ingredients, only to bump into Potter. Her fellow Gryffindor sent a glare in Severus' direction, to which Severus responded in kind, before asking Lily quietly, "Are you alright with...him?"

"Might I ask why you care?" Lily asked, surprised that it would matter to him after she had humiliated him so; sure, he had deserved it, but she doubted that Potter would see it that way.

He paused, then muttered with a red face, picking up his ingredients as he spoke, "I might be angry at you for being a right bint, but that doesn't mean I can't be worried about you, does it?"

Lily nodded slowly, before shrugging as she picked through the cupboard for her own ingredients. "Don't worry about him; Severus might be a prat, but I doubt he'd try to hurt me...at least, not in any way you need concern yourself with. Thank you for the thought though."

"You're welcome," Potter replied with a grin, before returning to his work-area while Lily did the same.

As she divided up the ingredients into nice, neat piles, Severus glanced them over, before asking quizzically, "Why didn't you...oh, I forgot." As Lily watched in confusion, Severus quickly slipped over to the Potions Lab and rummaged through it momentarily, before walking back with a small jar of Boomslang skin. Not saying anything, he picked out several pieces of the scale-covered skin and placed them on his portion of the table, whereupon he started to grind it up.

Lily tried to think of how Boomslang skin might be useful in Skele-Gro, running over what she knew of the animal and the exact properties of the skin, before grinning as she clapped her hand on Severus' shoulder and said exuberantly, "You're using the Boomslang skin to increase the regenerative capabilities, aren't you? Like how a snake sheds its skin and has a new one all ready. Nice one, Sev!"

Severus' eyes widened and he looked at Lily as if she had suddenly grown three heads, his mouth hanging open in shock. He worked his mouth for several seconds before finally saying in a dumbstricken voice, his face rather pink, "Uh...thanks, Lily?"

For a moment, Lily was confused by how shocked Severus seemed, then she remembered that they weren't supposed to be friends anymore. As such, Lily quickly returned to preparing her ingredients, no longer looking at the boy near her.

Without saying anything more to each other than 'please pass the knife' and 'I'm putting in the Boomslang skin now', the two of them rapidly brewed the potion, Severus spending most of the time staring down at his ingredients while Lily did the same. She didn't really know what she should say to him; it wasn't like they were friends anymore, he having made sure of that, but she certainly didn't want to go on like this... 'Well, maybe if he did something to truly show he was sorry...that would be enough for me.'

Lily's mind idly slipped into a daydream, although she still kept doing her work as required. In this daydream, Severus, for whatever reason wearing robes of red and gold, came up to her carrying a (overly-large) bloody sword and a large bag. Upon reaching her, he said in a voice that reminded her of a medieval knight, "Oh fairest Lily, I come bringing you all of the Death Eaters who I have slain in penance for my crimes. I most humbly beg for your forgiveness, although nothing I can do would even come close to that day of awful, terrible betrayal."

After this, 'Lily' (dressed in a long, floor-trailing golden gown for some unfathomable reason) let out a girlish giggle and said, "Oh, Severus, there is truly nothing to forgive. You have done far more than you need to in your quest for penance. Come, let us be friends again once more!"

"Why thank you, Lily, and might I say that you do look ravishing today." replied Severus smoothly, offering her his hand in a courtly gesture, his hair seeming perfect for once.

"Aw, you say the sweetest things, Sev." 'Lily' took his hand in her own, blushing prettily as she did so. "Now, let's go and grab lunch; I'm positively famished!"

"Lily..."

"Yes, Sev?"

"Um, Evans, you alright? You haven't moved for ten minutes."

"Err, yeah. I'm fine." Lily sat up, blinking as Potter whispered in her ear on the way to delivering his potion to Professor Slughorn. At a glance, she could tell that it was made...alright, but hadn't been heated properly. It would gain him an 'E' at best.

Lily was about to roll her eyes at Severus when she realized with a start that he had already walked up to Slughorn with their own sample and was now collecting his things and preparing to leave. Without even looking at her, he picked up his bookbag and started walking out the door. This was the last straw for Lily. Incensed by how he just kept ignoring her, she called out, "Hey, Severus, what the bloody hell do you think you are doing!"

In that infuriatingly-emotionless tone of voice, Severus replied, not looking at her, "I thought that I was heading toward my Transfiguration class. Was I mistaken?"

Although she knew he couldn't see her, Lily could glared at him furiously. "Well, I thought that you might want to talk, or at least say a bloody 'thank you' for being your partner!"

"Why? It's not like we're friends anymore. So why would it matter what I say?" said Severus smoothly, still not looking at her. "Still, if it means so much to you, thank you for your help, Lily. Can I go now?"

Lily exploded, dragging the Slytherin boy into a corner, she clenched her fists in rage. "Don't you even care that we aren't friends anymore, Severus! Did our friendship mean so little to you that you can just pretend that it never happened? Because I certainly can't!" Severus still said nothing, but he turned his head toward her, listening. "Severus, do you think I liked realizing that my best friend was a bloody traitorous scumbag? I never wanted to end it, and I still don't!"

"Then forgive me, Lily." said Severus quietly, his voice still seeming to be calm, but now with a quaver of emotion running through it. "If you don't want our friendship to be over, forgive me and be my friend again."

"I-I can't!" shouted Lily, glad that the classroom had emptied by now, as she was rapidly becoming hysterical. "I can't forgive you if you won't give up on being a Death Eater, I bloody can't! So if you aren't willing to do that, then I can't be friends with you, Severus. It's just that simple!"

There was silence in the empty room, as they both grappled with Lily's statement. Severus seemed deep in thought, his lips pursed tightly, although she couldn't see anything else. Meanwhile, Lily wondered desperately what Severus would say. The silence stretched on for several minutes, until finally Lily couldn't take it anymore. Tears starting to roll down her cheeks, she pleaded with Severus, "Please Severus, just forget those awful friends of yours, that Dark Magic you're obsessed with and those sodding Death Eaters and-and be my friend again... Please."

Severus turned, and although she couldn't see his face from the hair concealing it, she could make out one solitary, coal-black eye as he looked back at her. That eye seemed like it wished to cry, but was unable to make a single tear. His voice thick, Severus replied in a haunted, choked whisper, "Lily...I-I can't... I'm sorry, but I just can't do it."

And leaving Lily standing there, her face wet with tears, he left.

That night, Lily sent a message begging for help to the only person she knew who wouldn't react to the end of her friendship with Severus with a 'Good riddance'. It had been long and wordy, and the point of it had been "What should I do? This was my best friend in the world; I don't want to let it end like this!".

Perseus was the only person, save for her father, who hadn't been against her and Severus' friendship-and she had spent the entire Summer telling all her friends and family that Severus was a fickle little traitor, so she doubted that her father would be in Severus' camp anymore. As such, it was to him she had gone for advice.

It wasn't for another two weeks though that Lily finally received her reply from Perseus, by which time she was actually packing her things to head home for the holidays.

Medusa,

You are welcome to your opinions as to my ability, and I am quite enjoying thoughts of this 'Fred's' suffering. However, my Musketters are likely far more challenging than Fred, if only for the simple fact that you are a girl...and this Fred seems to fancy you. Hexing you would be counterproductive to his aims as, to put it crudely, he cannot get into your knickers without your consent. Or at least, he wouldn't be able to do so without a most lovely Azkaban sentence.

In contrast, the three berks I deal with have no qualms nor sense of mercy when it comes to me; if I were to truly humiliate them, my suffering would only be increased when they paid me back. Pain is alright for them, possibly because they are too pig-headed to feel it, but humiliation... Victory in this battle is merely 'surviving' until the next day without major embarrassment.

However, we have more important things to discuss than strategies for dealing with my rivals, things such as your demand that I 'prove my ability'! I have no need to prove myself to such an annoying chit, and I have no intention of putting my 'bravery' under your scrutiny, as I'd like to see you provoke your friends for something like that. I, unlike you, have better things to do with my time than fighting a thousand battles I'd prefer to avoid.

The most important thing I would like to address though is your most recent letter. (Seriously, did your mind throw up on this letter? It has no focus at all.) Whoever this friend is, as well as whatever they have done (I cannot tell, for your letter is an abomination of English literature, and I cannot understand what you have written in the slightest), there is nothing left for you to do. As you said, you tried your best, and your best was not good enough.

You will have no choice but to forget this friend and act as if he/she does not exist, for they have refused to agree to what you need for the friendship. Don't worry, if you try long and hard enough, eventually the pain will fade and seeing them will no longer hurt...or so I've been told.

Simply pretend that they don't exist and that you have never known them in the first place, and eventually it will be as if it were true. There is a famous story in Muggle literature about a man who, upon hearing the sounds of animals talking (in plain English) and told himself that he was only hearing the normal bestial noises, and eventually after trying to do this very hard that was all he could hear. If you pretend that you were never friends for long enough, then sooner or later it will prove to be the case.

Really, what else can you do?

Best of luck, annoying chit! (And I honestly mean it this time.)

Sincerely,

Perseus

P.S. I have improved the Skele-Gro potion recipe as instructed; the superior recipe is on the back of the parchment. However, given our respective levels of ability, this competition might never end as the basic recipe is typically so easy to improve, so would it be acceptable to consider this a draw?

Lily gazed down dimly at the letter before her, not even paying attention to her surroundings as she made her way onto the Hogwarts Express. even Perseus didn't think that she and Severus should be friends. His advice had been...well, what she had been trying to do since the end of O.W.L.s last year, and that hadn't been all that successful. But what else was there? She looked at Perseus' advice again and was struck with a sense of wrongness, although she wasn't quite sure why. Like he said, she had done everything she could, hadn't she? Hadn't she?

There was nothing she could do; she couldn't be friends with someone who wanted to be a Death Eater, let alone the rest of that stuff, so why did it bother her so much?

Lily frowned as a thought struck her. 'Is there something that the two of us could compromise on? I haven't really tried that, as I can't accept Severus being a Death Eater...but what about the other stuff?' Lily bit her lip as she considered this, ignoring Potter as he tried to gain her attention from the entrance to the compartment, until he finally left her in peace. 'Would it really be that bad if he does Dark Magic, as long as he's not using it to hurt anyone? I mean, Perseus seems like an alright bloke, and he likes using Dark Magic too...'

Was it possible? Could she compromise with him? Lily didn't know, but she planned to find out. She owed it to Severus, to their friendship enough to try just a little bit harder. Maybe this would all be for naught, but she wasn't going to give up quite yet.

In the meantime, her letter to Perseus, sent from the traincar window, read:

Dear Perseus,

I think that I'm going to try something else, but thank you for your help... I have to ask though, have you tried such advice before? Because it sounds right dodgy. I mean, if someone has been that good of a friend of yours, don't you at least owe it to them to see if there is something you can do to salvage it?

Your advice...it seems far too callous. Sure, there are some things that people might do to make them unforgivable, but I don't think that what my friend did was one of them. I'm going to give it another go I think, but again, thanks.

Best Wishes,

At this, Lily paused, smiling before she crossed her conclusion out and wrote in its place:

Your Friend,

Medusa

P.S. I accept your draw.

The smile faded though when she read the back of Perseus' letter, as apparently Potter had gotten to it. She would recognize that overly-pretentious golden ink anywhere. Frowning with annoyance, as that had been where Perseus had put his improved Skele-Gro recipe, she read what he wrote:

Evans,

I spelled this onto the back of this piece of paper to make sure you'd see it, if that's alright. I'm not tops at Transfiguration for nothing after all!

I can see that you're too busy to notice what I was trying to tell you (hard to believe, considering that it's me, but it happens), but I wanted to say that I'm sorry for the knickers incident; it won't happen again. I still think that you were a right bint hexing me like that (That was really uncalled-for if you ask me), but I'd still like it if you would forgive me.

James Potter

At that, Lily rolled her eyes once more, but she couldn't help but chuckle at Potter's antics. He was rather funny, even if he was an arrogant prat.

That didn't mean that she would forgive him for erasing Perseus' recipe though, let alone for making her knickers an object of public debate.