Chapter 2

Not really looking at the cup, Howard took a sip of the coffee Jason had ordered for him. His face changed for just a second. What was that? Anger? Sadness? Then, it changed again. It was a face Jason recognized. It was the face Howard used when he didn’t want someone to know how he felt. God knows Howard had used that face enough with Jason. Howard placed his cup back down and spoke.

“As a matter of fact, you are my retirement plan,” Howard said. “The blood, sweat, and tears, and let’s not forget the tons of cash, that I put into our family didn’t really work into a 401k now did they? Think of our relationship as an investment, Jason. People see you as successful now. We never had a problem in that neighborhood, and we were the first gay couple there. James is in his freshman year at Cornell, and Jane will be attending Sarah Lawrence when she gets back from her gap year. I did my job, Jason, and I will continue to do it. I followed James to Cornell with a car full of things after shopping for a month, and I will take Jane to Ikea and then clothes shopping in New York before we go to Sarah Lawrence. I will buy them both an incredible attaché case before they go into the work force. I will welcome their future spouses at Thanksgiving, and listen on the phone when they have bad days. I will keep their childhood bedrooms as shrines until they are ready to move on. When they have children, or bad divorces, I will be there. I will still tend to all their boo-boos, even though those will be adult sized then, and I will applaud all of their adult victories with as much enthusiasm as I did when they sat on the toilet for the first time. So, Jason, while you were in your office, putting little pictures of your family up, I was getting the kids ready for those pictures. When you were inviting your clients to our home for dinners, and parties, and all those other not so little things, I was getting the house ready or acting as the caterer, or finding out who was allergic to what. You didn’t build the business alone, Jason, and your family didn’t just hatch from an egg perfectly made. All those little jobs you got because someone thought it would be fun to support a gay family, those are my sales. Pride festivals alone have made you a small fortune over the years. I did a lot there, brother, and anytime you start to forget it, remember who your first investor was. Now, why did we decide to get together today?”

“Jane’s birthday,” Jason said, scared to say much else.

“I’ve already started planning it,” Howard informed him.

“I thought maybe we could plan it together.”

“You were going to add your insights?”

“I thought I could,” Jason answered, trying to muster some of the confidence he had felt a few minutes before.

“Okay, what’s her favorite kind of cake?”

“I’m sorry?” Jason asked, stumbling and then trying to recover.

“What’s Jane’s favorite cake?” Howard asked, looking intently at Jason with a big smile on his face.

“I guess, it’s um, chocolate.”

“Red velvet. Chocolate is your favorite. James likes carrot cake with a cream cheese frosting. He prefers my homemade to anything we’ve ever tasted out. He makes me bake one every year. Jane likes to try a different red velvet on each of her birthdays. She started that when she turned eight. This year we’re supposed to get one from the bakery on Amherst. She said she heard they made the best.”

“I see,” Jason said.

Howard rose from his chair. “I’ll send you an email with everything I’ve planned so far. You can look it over and offer me your pearls of wisdom.”

“I’m sure what you have is great,” Jason said.

Howard raised an eyebrow, and then he looked at the table, at the coffee cup he had only briefly tasted.

“You know I hate cream and sugar,” Howard said. “That was really nasty.”

“I’m sorry, I…” Jason said, suddenly feeling a little foolish.

“Enjoy your war,” Howard answered. He began to walk away, but then turned back to face Jason. “Just so you know, you’ve been standing there by yourself. I haven’t been on the battle field in quite some time.”2: Open Road

Howard was more than a little angry when he walked out of the coffee shop, but he tried not to show it. Instead of rushing to the car, or shoving the door open, he walked slowly and methodically, with just enough bounce to his butt to hopefully get Jason’s attention, but not enough to look like he was doing it on purpose. He suddenly remembered how Jason used to stare at his ass on the football field, and even more in the locker room, but that had been decades ago when they were in college. It had probably been ten years ago when Jason had started looking at other people’s asses, and in less than a week it would be ten years to the day since Howard had made sure that Jason got his ass out of their house. Not that Jason would remember the date. God knows he could never remember their regular anniversary when they had been together.