Chapter 41: Epiphany

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"Are those my initials?" Jimin pointed at the tattoo on Jungkook's right ring finger and knuckle.

Jungkook thought of the word Finally. He wanted the writer to notice him, to notice every tattoo on his hand, to ask for every single tattoo he now has on his body. "Can I sit beside you?" Jungkook dared to ask. He wanted to be closer to the male when explaing because he wanted the writer to trace his tattoos with his soft fingers. With a simple silent nod, the writer cautiously moved farther onto the couch to give him space.

"Yes. J for Ji and the M holds two definitions for me." Jungkook extended his right hand towards him as they sat beside each other. "Min and M for Magnetism." The writer quickly shifted his eyes from the letter in ink to the actor's. He read the letter.

"So do the other letters spell...?" Jimin asked, his mind recited the letter full of poems he had written for him. "A for Affectation, R for Rapport, M for Magnetism, and Y for Yearn. The A doesn't have stick in the middle because it's also a V upside down, Valediction. The three plus signs-" The writer now focused his gaze on the knuckles as he nodded. "all symbolize how each of the letters go together and they add up our first relationship. It's the reminder of how much I fucked us up, but also the motivation to move forward." Jimin couldn't help himself.

He began to trace the tattooed skin with his index finger, eyes completely focused on the letters. "Why did you do this to your skin? You'll have a hard time removing it when you're old." Jimin lowered his gaze to a strange symbol a few inches below the letter Y.

"Waenyahamyeon neoneun na geuligo naneun neo inakka." Jungkook answered and pressed his left index finger against Jimin's right index finger.

Because you are me and I am you.

"This symbol is a shield. For me, it means that I will protect you and our son even if you may never forgive me." The actor continued to lovingly describe the tattoos on his skin. They were his symbols and art, his form of love for Jimin and his unborn son.

"You're not supposed to make me cry!!" Jimin scoffed and got up from the couch. His touch instantly faded from Jungkook's, he needed to stop. Jungkook needed to stop making him feel like this. He had a resolve, it wasn't going to be broken; but he did not know Jungkook would be so loving. He didn't want to dare think it was all an act again.

"Hyung, wait." Jungkook was about to chase after him, but two words forced his heart to shatter again. "Please leave." Jimin raised his hand to point out that he was done listening. "I'm going to rest. Thank you for the gifts, but it's time for you to leave." He walked towards the main door and unlocked it for the actor.

"Jimin hyung, don't make me leave yet. I still haven't explained all of them." The actor tried to convince the writer but failed. His time was up.

"I... don't care." Jimin avoided his eyes completely. Those words were a complete lie to Jungkook and to himself. He wanted to know more. He wanted to know what went through Jungkook's mind to spark the idea and create a symbol for the emotions he felt towards him. "I thought we said no lies." Jungkook insisted, but this time his voice was lowered into a very serious tone.

"Then what do you want me to say?! That I want to know what your tattoos mean? Jungkook you're hurting my heart! I can't deal with this right now, it's too much! Give me time!" Jimin snapped and wanted to crouch down but his back didn't let him. Instead, he leaned his hands on his waist for support and leaned a little backwards as well as letting his right leg balance the weight instead of on both.

The sincerity of his words struck the actor's heart like thunder. He crossed the line today. He had forced himself onto the writer too much and now he was breaking down. It was up to Jimin to initiate the smaller things that now were big, it would prove that he was being accepted.

Jungkook got up from the couch with his head hung. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to..." He grabbed his black cap and mask and walked over to the entrance. This was the farewell.

"Would it be too much if I asked you to see me off tomorrow?" Jungkook hoped Jimin would go. It would mean there was hope for them. But most importantly, it would mean the writer was acknowledging how the actor was mending his own persona.

"It would be too much." A saddened nod was forced on the actor's head as he finished tying up his black boot laces. Jimin paused and sighed. He needed to see that Jungkook was trying to change, and he was going to acknowledge that; for him, for them. "But I'll try to go. Text me the location and time. Goodbye."

There was hope.

"Make hay while... the sun shines." Jungkook's frown instantly lit up while he had mumbled after hearing Jimin agreeing. "What?" Jimin asked confused at the sudden quote the actor had mumbled. "Nothing." He wouldn't let go of the opportunity. His passion, his sun was shining brightly iluminating his darkest night.

"Goodbye Aegi." Jungkook softly said while looking at the writer's bump before leaving the apartment with an accomplished grin hidden behind the black mask. The road to forgiveness was seen in the horizon.

Jimin stood still against the locked door of his apartment. He heard him right. Jungkook had called the baby, Aegi just like he has done and the baby kicked on pure instinct after the door closed, but he hadn't heard him.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"Do you remember Jonghyun's troop name? Ask him for anything you may need, just mention my name." Me-Ji cleaned Jungkook's shoulders from any dust with her hands. "I remember and he goes by Private Kim Jonghyun." Jungkook nodded feeling sad. Jimin hadn't arrived and he had to enter the center.

The day was a little clouded, much to his liking the temperature wasn't the hottest nor the coldest. But, Jimin still had yet arrived and he already had over fifteen minutes to enter the base. He would he training in active duty for four weeks there and then continue for his twenty-three months service.

"He's here!" Jungkook's eyes sparkled when he saw the writer's black K900. His heart sped up and his eyes wrinkled in such a hopeful smile. Hope was taking over the wheel and into the road. "I should leave, the trial starts in two hours and I have to meet the client." She sighed and looked into his eyes. "I'm not going to lie, training is hell as I've been told. Take care Jungkook-ah." With watery eyes she pat his shoulder with one hand and ruffled his almost non existent hair with the other. "Thank you for everything noona." Jungkook nodded and watched as she smiled back at him and left in her car.

As soon as her car was out of sight, he shifted his head to Jimin's black one. The writer wore a pair of Woogie 02 (p) sunglasses, the purple Etoile Isabel Marant sweater he had given him as an early birthday present (always a size larger), white shorts and a pair of black Geraldo sandals. The baby bump looked good in his eyes; a world brighter. Dark eyes no longer haunted him whenever he started at Jimin, there was no reason anymore.

Jimin looked out of breath from his eyes, he was running towards him. "Don't run!" Jungkook shouted as he began to run in his direction. Worried about everything was something that came naturally for him now.

"You... fucking... idiot." The writer cursed with lungs searching for oxygen. He was also hurting from the fact that the male was about to suffer more than he already was. "Why?" Jungkook asked. The urge to hug the male was strong. He was about to leave, and it was completely inevitable.

"Because if you're trying to be a good father, leaving like this shouldn't be an option!" The writer had an epiphany that started the previous night. Although forgiving won't be easy, he was starting to acknowledge how the man he loved was trying to change but as he had stated, he needed time. "Hyung... I had to do this." The actor's voice wasn't loud, instead it was soft like water droplets falling.

Jimin was about to test him before he left. For his own peace of mind, if he wanted to completely start acknowledging that Jungkook was changing, he was going to see it for himself by asking a simple question. If Jungkook wanted to earn his forgiveness, this was the first wall it would open. This was his epiphany.

"Jungkook-ah, before you leave, can I ask you one last question?" Jimin started, his hands automatically began to hold his lower back. This was the moment he had been waiting for. "Ask me anything." Jungkook replied.

"What are the colors of my eyes?" The wind suddenly grasped Jimin's blonde locks and tousled it. There were clear memories that flashed in both of their minds the moment the question was asked. Jungkook's mind heard the same verse of Jimin's letter over and over again. And the memory of the writer staring at him with such loving eyes in the past crawled to his thoughts and displayed the picture.

The Jungkook of the past would've found a way to evade the question. But that wasn't who he was anymore, he was changing. But the phrase of three words 'I love you' still wasn't said, majorly because he still hadn't completely attoned for what he'd done. Yet, the simple question was worth so much more. It made him curl the ends of his rosy lips and let a giggle escape through white his teeth.

"For an instance, your eyes are a beautiful chocolate brown. But when the sunlight shines in them, I can see a wonderful milk chocolate that iluminates the galaxy in them. Those celestial eyes hold the constellation of love. To me, your eyes, Park Jimin, are radiant and ethereal." That was his answer to the question.

Jimin's lips instantly curved up in a smile even though he tried his hardest to hide it. Even if his mind wanted him to not show how happy the answer made him, his heart and body wouldn't listen. He ackowledged him. The answer was how much he had been hoping for the male to see them. The love in his words was present and the key to the first wall opened up the door for him to pass.

A few seconds passed of the writer trying hard not to let his eyes water, but he failed in doing so; much less in keeping their distance. For the first time in so long, Jimin iniciated skinship. He had hugged Jungkook afted so much longing and it took him courage for it.

Jungkook's eyes didn't close but they didn't widen when he saw the male lean forward to wrap his arms around him. He felt the bump of his stomach softly collide against his abdomen and his arms instantly returned the hug. Finally, the hug was mutual instead of a back hug, instead of a side hug, it was consentual.

"Take care of yourself." The writer's voice was low but clear in the writer's ears. "And come back to us. If you die before I forgive you I-I will bring you back and murder you myself..." Jungkook chuckled and caressed the back of his head with his left hand. He was finally there, in his arms. Although he still wasn't forgiven, he was there, with both of them in his arms.

"I will. And you, take care of yourself and him." With his right hand, gently caressing the bump from the side, the actor felt the stretching of the skin once again. It was different every time. Jimin loosened his hold on him and stared at his features one last time.

"Goodbye Jungkook-ah." He said his farewell but before walking away, he gently massaged the skin under the actor's chin feeling the soft shaved hairs. "Goodbye Jimin hyung..." With glossy eyes Jungkook watched as Jimin's back continued to walk further away from him but even if he felt somber and sad, he knew things would get better because the action of one hug was the first wall finally opened.

Jungkook turned around and stared at the building with a determined expression as he walked forward completely prepared to leave his current life behind although it pained him. Twenty-four months to go, four weeks here first.

"JEON JEONGGUK, MEOMCHWOLA!" Jimin's desperate shout abruptly made him stop his footing but he didn't turn around. He wasn't about to cry, but he was about to feel himself desperately embrace a new set of emotions.

"Don't get used to this." The same voice of Park Jimin spoke again but this time it was closer; he was approaching him. The steps were loud and fast just like the beating drum against his chest and he finally turned around.

He faced the man he was changing for but the writer's appearance was different, this time he saw how his plump lips were quivering and his eyes were pinker. But just like that, he didn't have enough time to react when he saw him lift his hands to cup his cheeks, and he closed his eyes. The taste wasn't the same, the texture wasn't the same, the softness wasn't the same, the temperature wasn't the same, for him everything was new. And this became a new memory, this became his first kiss where he was being acknowledged and there was both between them.

Jimin locked his lips against Jungkook's, his upper one captured the younger's bottom one to feel their newest softness. And the feelings were reciprocated this time, he knew it and could feel it.