Whispers penetrated the darkness surrounding me and slowly began to increase until I could make out bits and pieces of the conversations going on around me.
"That's ridiculous, Jordan. You can't just spring something like that onto her and just expect her to accept it. It's no wonder she panicked with your fumbling way of handling it," a voice said right next to my ear. It held a plethora of irritation that even my foggy brain could make out.
I would know that voice anywhere, Mia. She had obviously taken great exception to what Jordan and Jack had done. I knew her well enough that it did not shock me that her mouth had overridden her brain, as it had a habit of doing on a normal basis.
It was to Mia's house that I had run to at sixteen and had finally managed to get away from my drunken abusive father. At the time I chose Mia's house based purely on selfish reasons. I knew her parents, I knew they had money and connections and I knew they could protect me. In the end, they did more than that, they took me in without hesitation and gave me a warm, loving home.
Ever since that day Mia had taken to being my champion whenever she saw the necessity of it and apparently, she did for the second time tonight. I wanted to warn her that she was not going to get away with talking to Jordan like that again when-
"Mia!"
Jordan's voice whipped through the room with a crack making me wonder if Mia would ever truly learn that she could not continue to be disrespectful to these men. It is a hard lesson for a new sub to learn, I knew from experience. The first year of my life in this whole new world was a mire of discipline and wincingly bad scenes. It wasn't until Jordan had finally taken over as my Dom about a year ago that I was able to fully submit to anyone. Jordan was a good Master, one of the best according to all the subs at The Dungeon.
He did not have a lot of rules but was strict on the ones he did have and any breaking of them would result in immediate punishment equal to the amount of disobedience.
Early in the night, Jordan had set her up on the bar, short green dress pulled up and backside out for the whole club to see and grope if they wanted to. Because not only had she not called him by his proper title of Master Jordan or Sir, but she had also been blatantly disrespectful during the conversation. It was a wonder, with how conservative Mia is, that she would even dare that type of humiliation again.
It was that concern for Mia that finally had me struggling to pry my eyes open. I could feel the tension in the room about to break and I figured one punishment a night would do for her.
My first sight was one of Mia kneeling next to the giant leather couch I was laying on. Her face was a kaleidoscope of worried fear, and I felt a sting of regret for my actions.
"Lizzie! How are you feeling?" she asked anxiously.
I took quick stock of my body just to make sure nothing was broken or bruised up too bad. I was happy that everything seemed fine, minus the pounding in my head that seemed to have no focal point.
I gave her a sardonic smile. "I'll be better once the marching band goes home."
She gave me a worried look until she realized I meant the one pacing around my head.
"Oh, you're such a baby! It's just a little headache," she chided.
I had to hide a smile while pulling myself into a sitting position and leaning back against the couch. Mia should know all about headaches from passing out, it was three years ago that she had cracked her skull on the very same sidewalk. She ended up in the hospital for the night with a mild concussion. I pulled at the bottom of my skimpy nearly nothing red dress Jordan had made me wear tonight trying to make sure I was at least covered. After what had happened tonight, I felt vulnerable enough I didn't need anything hanging out to make it worse.
I looked around trying to figure out what room we were in. The whole room was cloaked in dark shadows being thrown off by the fireplace making it hard to identify details. But by the large shelves that lined the wall, I assumed we were in the library that Mia had told me about.
"This had better not become a habit with the subs," said a voice from the corner of the room.
I squinted through the shadows and just barely made out Reed's hulking form standing near the doorway. Of course, with his height, I wasn't sure how anyone could miss him. However, he was wearing black like most of the Dom's around here wore so he blended in with the darkness.
I could not help but wonder where my own Master, or Masters, had gone to. Trying to look casually I peered around the room hoping to spot them without looking like I was trying to find them.
"Behind you," whispered Mia into my ear having not missed a thing.
Very slowly I turned half afraid of the disappointment in their eyes, or worse the anger that I would run from them when I should have stayed and talked it out.
I couldn't deny either emotion because I knew full well it was deserved. My behavior was not one befitting a sub with the experience I had, but when I felt the panic attack come on the hysteria became worse until it was like a snowball running downhill.
The panic attacks had not been a problem for me for a while now thanks to Mia's mother, Maggie, and the therapist they had sent me to. All I could do at this point was pray that it was just a one-time thing.
My eyes finally fell on them standing near the far back of the room. Jack was right next to the window watching everything intently not missing even a single movement. His face was perfectly blank, but I sensed a distinct agitation from him. However, I didn't have the courage to ask him anything just yet. He turned back to the window running his hands through his hair giving it a slightly unkempt look that made me want to run to him and straighten it out again.
Just a short distance away from him, leaning against the table looking openly frustrated and annoyed was Jordan. My heart twisted painfully when I saw the disappointment that I was expecting in his eyes. I looked away hoping to hide the pain that I felt at having let them both down and twisted back around to address Mia again.
"I need to go home," I said and winced at the hiss of rejection from the two men behind me.
I glanced over my shoulder in time to see Jordan shove away from the desk and head my way. Instinctively I shrunk away from him and watched as anger and hurt filled his face. I looked away, unbelievably ashamed of my behavior towards him, towards the both of them. It seemed as if I was unable to control my actions tonight and every move, sound, or step I made did nothing but harm them.
Jordan let out a frustrated growl and stalked over to the window next to Jack seemed like he was turning his back on me. I wasn't sure if that is what he meant to do but the response I had was the same. The heartbreak got worse, and tears gathered in my eyes until I was almost blinded. Fearing the dam would break and I would end up bawling on the couch in front of everyone I looked back at Mia and pleaded with my eyes for some help to get out of here.
Mia bit her lip reaching up to grasp the collar Reed had given her and I could tell her hesitation that she wasn't sure it was the right decision for me to go home with so much left unresolved.
I was not sure if it was the right move or not either but the turbulent emotions rolling through me made it impossible to trust anyone or anything. Mia continued to stare at me while she was deep in thought and played with the little nameplate that said “Mine” at the clasp of the chain-linked collar. I reached up in a movement that mirrored hers and grasped my own collar. Needing to feel the smooth coolness of it just to make sure it was real, but my hand touched nothing but the bare skin of my neck.
It wasn't there.
I gasped out loud and felt a new panic beginning to course through me. I immediately searched frantically through the couch, praying that it had just slipped between the cushions and that it had not fallen off amid my mad dash through the crowd.
"I have it.”