Beach trip

"Alright." I growled while looking at my list, "Lets double check that we have everything we need for Jacob's loyalty mission."

"Great name for these tasks." Mordin commented in his full body red and white striped swimsuit.

"Folding chairs?" I asked.

"Check." Jack answered.

"Ice Chests?"

"Check." Jack again.

"Towels?"

"Check." Mordin checked while holding some damn fluffy towels.

"Sunscreen?"

"Check." Back to Jack.

"Umbrellas?"

"Check." Jack again.

"Kegs?"

"Big check on that." Zaeed answered while grinning at the many kegs we had loaded up onto the shuttle.

"Then we have everything we need for our participation in Jacob's loyalty mission." I nodded my head as I saw that everything was good.

"When Zaeed needs you guys to murder his old partner and burn down a foundry full of innocent people you all are suited up and weapons hot." Jacob complained while doing his best not to sound whiny, "But when I need to launch a rescue mission for my father, it's beach season for you people."

"Don't take it personal, Jacob." I placated the man, "We just don't like you."

"That's textbook personal!" Jacob shouted.

"Oh, right." I admitted while trying to sound like I hadn't realized that, "Well in that case… Fuck you, you fucking fuck."

"Grunt!" chided the Commander, needing to step in before a fight broke out.

"What?" I asked like a caught red handed teenager, "The guy has the moral backbone of a jellyfish and has the ass kicking prowess of a man with only half his legs."

"That's not an unbiased assessment and you know it." Shepard countered me.

"Jacob stated that he joined Cerberus, known terrorists, because working for the Alliance came with 'enough red tape to sink a cruiser'." interjected Mordin raising a finger in the air cocking out his floaty bearing arm, "Also been charting combat performance of whole team. Jacob is objectively lowest performing team member, making both conjectures factually accurate."

"SCIENCE!" I barked in laughter.

"I hate you people." Jacob muttered near tears.

"We hate you too." I chuckled, "I am sure there are a subset of people out there that like you, Taylor, but for the life of me I just can't find them."

His rebuttal was cut off by my varren crowding him to fit into the shuttle.

Everyone was happy to disembark onto the tropical world of Aeia, the cool breeze bringing in the clean scent of the crystal blue ocean water. Mordin, Zaeed, Samara, Thane, Jack and I set up on a stretch of pristine beach and I set the varren out to kill any of the locals should they decide to bother us in their toxin addled lunacy.

"I so rarely spend time anymore enjoying the natural beauty the galaxy has to offer." Samara commented with a sandwich in her hand as I poured her a cold beer into a plastic cup.

My own cup looked more like a bucket someone tore the handle off of.

"I haven't gotten to spend time admiring any natural beauty in the galaxy." I laughed, "Ever since I was born it's always been go here, kill them, or going there, get ready to kill them."

"You are remarkably well adjusted considering your incredible circumstances." Samara complimented, my even keel a rarity among krogan let alone krogan specifically bred for maximum power and aggression.

I took a long drink of frosty brew from my not-a-bucket and enjoyed the sight of the sea. Looking out at the ocean had always been a great joy to me considering I hailed from a desert in my past life. Fuck swimming in those things, but they definitely look nice.

"Okeer failed to instill the emotional weight of all his many hatreds into me, and I didn't really have a love of anything either." I told her, "My time on the Normandy has allowed me to experience the galaxy a bit at a time without leaving me to drown in the billions of lives out amongst the stars. It lets me grow into who I am, and pursue who I want to be without the constant pressures of everyday life. If I'd woken up and some stiff told me to sit in a cubicle and get to grinding at my desk job I'd have lost my shit and you would not be talking to someone so calm and reasonable."

She spat out her beer laughing and wiped her chin, "I'm sorry for laughing at that, but the image of you working in an office was too much for me to keep composed."

The idea of a 300 kilo lizard man banging away on a keyboard in a too small button up t-shirt and slacks with a tiny tie was pretty funny. Almost like Mr. Incredible in the first movie, just with a whole lot more eating the boss for chewing me out.

I spotted Mordin down the way collecting sea shells for future testing while Jack was blasting the water with biotic shock waves. Zaeed stretched out on a chair tanning, and I couldn't spot Thane anywhere - the drell obviously employing those assassin skills somewhere. A pair of my varren played tug of war with one of the locals, pulling him into two pieces for them to much on. It was pure wholesome bliss.

"You should come visit me and Jack on Virmire after we kick the shit out of the collectors and the reapers." I invited my asari pal.

"You have never spoken with any doubt of our victory in what the others have dubbed 'The Suicide Mission', not even after your injuries on the collector ship." Samara stated, "Why is that?"

"The collectors had me locked in a death trap, blew me up, shot the shit out of me, and still fucked up finishing me off. Next time we meet I am going to stomp on everything they care about and drop my fat krogan nuts on their dreams." I grinned while thinking about the way my guns would tear those pussy boy bug cyborgs to pieces, "As for the reapers, smarter people than me will beat those stupid looking tentacle ships. No offense, you asari really pull off those head tentacle bone ridge things you have going on."

"None taken, Grunt." Samara faintly smiled, "You pull off the whole discount rock troll look nicely yourself."

"Fucking zing, girl." I grinned at her toasty burn.

My friends and I enjoyed a beautiful day at the beach while Jacob learned he was a loser descended from loser stock. Serves him right, the fucking jagoff.