webnovel
avatar

Comments of chapter undefined of An Extraordinary Gentleman

altalt

An Extraordinary Gentleman

kpthe1

Chapter comments6

Author liked the comment.

Nr_Yet1208
Nr_Yet1208Lv12Nr_Yet1208

not a bad start but maybe focus a little more on grammar and tense? I mean, it's up to you but it might make this a lot better, you know.

2yr
1
kpthe1
kpthe1Authorkpthe1

I am trying to edit the mistakes but I can't seem to find where's the problem. Still, I will try my best to polish the chapters.

2yr
1

Author liked the comment.

David_Neilsen
David_NeilsenLv1David_Neilsen

You have a lot of tense issues that you need to fix. You run from past to present and back and it throws the reader. Your world is well-imagined, but your characters could stand to be a bit more defined. WHo are these people? What does the boy want? Also, the first half of this paragraph is prologue/expository. Setting up the world. Maybe think about including a break before you get to the actual action of the story to let us know that we're now following the character.

2yr
1
Glimmy
GlimmyLv5Glimmy

Amazing story you got there and NK bombing part cracked me up. You're really gifted but editing would be needed. Thanks for the wonderful story, hope you continue

2yr
Login