THE 10TH ACCOUNT: I LOVE HIM... NOT! 4

The morning came and there it was. We could see Sirumaha in the distance. Monika went to the Labyrinth's forecastle deck and leaned on the railings. Her hair was being carried by the wind. She was a vision of loveliness. My eyes searched for Jacob and when I saw him, I felt my heart ache once more. His eyes gazed at her fondly. The smile on his face was filled with delight.

Monika turned to him. "Captain, could we anchor by the Capil port? It is in the southwestern part of Sirumaha. I believe we could find the caravans closer to that direction. That's where we travel at this time of the year," she said as she pointed.

Jacob nodded and walked to the wheel to change our course. Monika told us that the gypsies travel near the sea as much as possible. I looked at her again. I saw her sigh in relief. For once, I saw her mischievous demeanor disappear and in its place, longing. She smiled at Jacob, her eyes filled with tears of joy. Jacob chuckled.

I had to look away because the scene was making me feel unfamiliar emotions that I could not identify. I took a deep breath. Now, I know what torture feels like. I felt like my heart was being ripped like paper but only very slowly. And the ache, even though I know was not fatal, was so severe I could feel it rush through my veins. My throat hurts because I felt like crying but I should not. Then, I could not control it anymore, one tear fell from my eye the moment I looked back at Jacob.

Jacob at that moment looked at me and he scrunched his forehead after seeing me. He left the wheel and walked towards me and my heart skipped. Another tear fell. Why am I crying? I know he will ask and I do not know what to say. So before he could reach me, I ran away. I heard him call me but I needed to go. My tears were not stopping anymore. I had to hide so I ran to the lowest deck. I just wanted to be left alone!

I heard footsteps coming after me so I ran faster until I saw the door to the storage room. I opened it quickly and locked it after me.

"Darling, are you alright?" It was Jacob. His voice worried.

I took a deep breath. "I do not know," I answered.

"Open up. Let's talk."

"I do not want to talk."

"Did something happen?" he asked.

I did not know what to say so I stayed silent. This was the first time I felt something as intense as this and I'm frightened. So, I did not speak. I did not know how to say it.

"Darling?"

I needed Jacob to leave me alone so I made up an excuse. "I… I … just thought… thought of home, that is… I'll be fine Jacob. I just needed some time alone," I lied. My tears were not stopping no matter how hard I tried so I put my hand over my mouth so he would not hear me sob.

"Darling--"

"Please, just go," I did not give him a chance to speak.

I heard him sigh, "Are you sure? Do you want us to head back to your home after Sirumaha? If you are that homesick we could make some arrangements--"

"No! I don't want to go back! I just wanted to be left alone! Would you please just leave me alone?! I said I need a moment. Just a moment to get myself together! Please…. just leave…"

"Alright," he said.

I heard his footsteps trailing off and when he was gone, I cried my heart out. I do not want to feel this way. This is pathetic! I had to put a stop to this! This is NOT me! I am not accustomed to crying. As a matter of fact, the only time I remembered crying growing up was when my mother passed.

But here at Labyrinth, I cried more than I had ever cried in my lifetime! And everytime I did, it was because of Jacob! He… He awakened these emotions that I was not aware of before and they're driving me crazy! I do not know what to make of these! I just want these to STOP! So, I will cry my heart out until the tears were all outcried… and THEN, and THEN, I swear, THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIME I WOULD CRY or hell would break loose!

After my theatrical episode, I took several deep breaths. Then, I found water to wash my face before I went back up to the main deck. I steeled and put on an unaffected facade. When I reached the main deck, everyone that was there looked at me worriedly. All except Monika who smirked knowingly.

I was a noblewoman so I was trained to handle situations such as these. "Do NOT let them see you cower, do not show them your fear. DO NOT QUAVER," my governess and the Queen used to tell me. So, I raised my chin up and met her eyes. Then, I smirked back. Monika chuckled in response.

That afternoon, we docked at Capil port. We decided to eat lunch first before we began our journey to find the gypsies' caravans. As we ate, Monika resorted to her usual flirtatious acts. I looked at her unaffected though my irritation was rising again. Jacob, however, maintained his distance from Monika. Instead, he was watching me with a worried look.

After lunch, we headed on our way. Neville, Thaddaeus, and Lowen decided to stay at Labyrinth to do some maintenance. The rest of us began our journey. We acquired three buggies to ride on. Monika led the group while telling us stories about the structures we saw.

Sirumaha's geography differed from the other places I had been before. For one, the place we were in was a coastal desert. The air was dry and hot. The architectural designs of the structures were very intriguing for me too. Monika told us they were called mosques.

It was already after sunset when Monika saw the familiar colorful caravans of her people. She looked at us excitedly.

"There it is!" she said and pointed.

The caravans were stationed near an oasis. There were colorful tents that were put up and merry music was playing. We could hear laughter and beats of drums as we came closer. Monika's smile grew wider as we halted. She immediately went down and mingled with her peers. Her peers looked at us and a group came to our direction to give us a welcome.

Monika linked her arms with me. Then, she smirked "I will be introducing Captain Jacob to my family. I'm sure they'll approve of him," she chuckled. She released me from her hold and dragged Jacob away. I rolled my eyes and groaned.