Chapter 8

ALESSIA

  We are driving home from the waterfall and I'm sitting in the backseat, looking out the window watching everything flash by.

  Deep in my thoughts, I have a thousand things running through my head right now. Questions that I want to ask. Replaying memories from the past 4 years trying to see if there were signs that I missed. Confusion because of Jaxson. Things he said, looks he gave me, the flirting and the touching. It was so intense that even Jess noticed it. Anger that Jess kept this from me for so long. She brought us here, keeping that secret. In a way, I feel hurt and betrayed at the same time.

  She moved us clear across the country. I've given up our old apartment, my job and my life there. I thought our friendship was so much more then that. She knows every detail about my life. Things that I've never told anyone else.  I thought we had this unbreakable connection, that we knew everything about each other. Apparently not.

  She could have told me before now. I think I handled it very well. I didn't scream, flip out  or run away. Regardless of what she is, I love her. She is one of the most important people in my life. I would have never rejected her. I don't think I would have gotten through the last 4 years without her.

  I'm trying to see it from her point of view but I can't help but wonder if there is anything else she is keeping from me. Why couldn't she trust me?

  What do I do now? Do I stay and get use to it? Do I leave and start somewhere with new? I don't know. It feels like my head is going to explode.

  As we pulled up in front of the house,  Jaxson and Jessica turned and looked at me, waiting to see what I was going to do.  "Babe, are you ok?" Jess asked. I nodded but didn't look at neither one if them. "I'm tired and I have a headache, I think I'm going to lay down for a while ." I said getting out of the car and walked into the house.

  I went into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water to take with me upstairs when Becca came running down and threw herself into Jaxson's arms. She inhaled deeply and pulled away turning towards me, giving me the biggest glare ever. "Why the hell do you smell like her?  Its so strong, like that bitch was all over you. Did something happen  between you and her?" Becca said while crossing her arms over her chest  waiting for him to answer. Jess growled at her, obviously that she didn't like her calling me a bitch.

  "No it was nothing like that. Jess told her about us, what we were. When it was time to go, we were far from the car so Jess asked me to give her a ride on my  back so we could get to the car faster." Jaxson said while rubbing the back of his neck.  He lied, well more like leaving out details.  It was obvious that Becca didn't like that.  She huffed and ran back upstairs with Jaxson chasing behind her.

  Everyone in the room was looking at me. Shaking it off, I asked Emily where Alena was and she said she was sleeping.  I walked upstairs to check on her, she was sleeping on the bed. I pulled the covers over her and walked out. I went to my room and plopped on the bed.

" I don't want you around her Jax. I'm not blind, I can clearly see that you like her and she likes you! Are you really going to throw away all these years we have been together for some human bitch!" Becca yelled.  "No baby it's not like that, I love you! You have nothing to worry about!" Jaxson yelled back at her.  I'm not going to lie, that stung a little. I don't know why but it did.

  I closed my eyes, thank God they stopped arguing so I can get some sleep. 

   I suddenly woke up with pain in my chest again. What the hell! This has never happened to me before and now it's happened twice in 2 days. This is worse then the last time. I feel tight in my chest, it's hard to breath, nauseous and pain just moving around my body.  This makes no sense. Why is this happening to me?

  I went over to the balcony and opened the door, the wind was blowing and it helped a little. At least I don't feel suffocated anymore.

  I'm balled up in the chair,  what felt like forever and then it just stops. I feel my muscles ache but the pain is gone.

  I want to go see Jessica but I haven't talked to her since we got back from the woods and I'm still feeling betrayed  and angry.  I know after she told me, we went running like everything was ok but I was in shock from it all. I hadn't had a chance to think. I think I need space to get my mind right.

  I need a nice hot bath. Getting up, I realized I didn't bring my bags up from when we went shopping. When I opened the door, my bags were there against the wall. I carried them in my room and went through them to get what I needed.

  Going into the bathroom, I turned the water on. I put my favorite coconut oil in the water with a soothing bath bomb and waited for it to fill it. I grabbed my shorts and tee shirt. I stripped out my clothes and got it. Oh this feels so good.    

  I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes, the water was starting to get cold. I got out, put my clothes on. I went over to Alena's room and saw her sleeping. I didn't see her much today so I picked her up and carried her into my room. Placing her in the bed, I climbed in next to her covering both of us up.

  My mind went to Jaxson, again.  There are all the times I catch him staring at me. He's always in deep thought and it's like his eyes can pierce through my soul. It always gives me goosebumps. Then, there was how he acted in the woods. Holding my hand, I felt like it was calming me.  I grabbed his shirt when I heard Jess's bones cracking. He pulled the back of my neck so my head was resting on his chest while wrapping his arms around me. Then let's not forget how he was when he shifted both times. The first time, he had his boxers on but he kept his eyes on me the whole time. His eyes were wondering up and down my body and back up to my face. His wolf rubbed his head in my chest. Do wolves always do that? The second time his eyes turned dark, he bit his lip and really looked at my body. He was naked. The power he had over me in that moment was crazy. I couldn't look away.  Let me tell you, his body was amazing. He was huge in all aspects. My body was throbbing, once again I had to squeeze my thighs shut.

  I've never had a guy make me feel this way before.

OH GOD ALESSIA, YOU HAVE TO STOP THIS!!! There is no way I could be feeling like this. Becca was right. No matter how much I hated to hear her say what she said, she was right. Ok, I just have to avoid him until whatever this is goes away.