It's now currently PE class, the only class where I never try my best since I've already achieved all my academics and also the only class I have to be cautious in revealing my gender. I also have to be cautious with my sweat because it could also reveal my gender and it can make changing from my clothes harder. I and Russell were on a bench, watching the others doing sports.
"I'm curious about this ever since I met you," Russell said, holding on to a basketball in his hands and sitting next to me. "But why are you always the last one to change?"
I wasn't actually paying attention to anything around me so I was shocked about his sudden question, especially the topic. The conversation I had with Michael a few days ago was still bothering me and I couldn't concentrate properly, so for the past subjects and band practice my grades were falling in a few subjects and I've recently been missing notes on my guitar. Just like now, I was in a daze because I was thinking back on the conversation.
My mind can't even give me a few hours of rest. Other than the conversation, my mind would always remind me of my mysterious father, joyous Michael, and the somewhat arrogant Jason. Because of thoughts of them, I wasn't able to sleep properly for the past few days.
"No particular reason." I tried to sound blunt. "I just didn't want anybody to see my body."
"That's why you should exercise in PE class." Russell insisted, passing the ball to me which I hardly caught. "See, your reflexes are as slow as a snail."
"That will never happen" I started to say as I threw the ball back at him which he caught easily. "You can try to convince me about your whole life but that will never happen."
"Fine, whatever." Russell aimed the basketball at a nearby basket, and just like a pro, the ball went in. "I don't care anymore about what you do."
I watched as he left the bench to get the ball. While he was away, I tried to relax on the bench but it was hard to relax since it's made of metal. After discovering my family background, I needed something to remind me and help me forget about everything that has happened. The necklace where my mother's ring is hanging on wasn't enough to convince me and remember all the warm memorable times I've spent with her. I raised my left wrist to look at the old wristwatch which belonged to my mother and look at the time. For a while now, I've been counting the time of how long I've last been involved with the White Dragons.
"Something wrong?" Russell returned with the ball in his hand. "You've been wearing your mother's watch for a few days now, did something happen?."
"No, it's nothing," I replied calmly and tiredly.
"You've been saying that a lot." Here we go again, one of Russell's never-ending worries. "If something is wrong, don't hesitate to tell me."
He used it again, one of his soothing tones in his voice. I've first experienced this when my mother died, he used a soothing tone in his voice to help me calm down when I wouldn't stop crying or if I was depressed. Every time he used this, I would always feel safe and relieved with him. It's just too bad I can never voice out my problems to you anymore Russell, especially with these ones.
I looked up to the sky, hoping that it'll clear my mind. As I was doing so, I could feel Russell looking at me with worry from a distance. The more he looks at me with worry, the more I felt guilty.
As each day has passed, I've slowly been losing communication with everyone and I would show fewer feelings every day. I'm panicking mentally but I'm physically calm. I'm unsure of what my decision is but it's clear what I have to do in order to maintain everything and stop anything crumbling beside me.
While I was in deep thought, the school bell rang, disturbing my train of thought. I quickly went up and ran to the boy's locker room. I need to change quickly if I want to keep my gender a secret. I ran ahead of Russell and left him there. I could still feel his worrying eyes behind my back.
My next class is Physics, a class where I could be with Daniel, and also classes that can help me concentrate. I was reading a book, studying on any sudden questions and also occupying myself to stop my thoughts about them. I was concentrating on my reading and was about to turn to the next page when Daniel suddenly asked me a shocking question.
"I have something to ask, Richard." At first, I was expecting a question about physics but it wasn't. "Richard, by any chance, is it possible that you're gay?"
If I would have been a bottle of water, I would spit it out from the sudden question. Especially asking me with his tone of voice, it was so straightforward and blunt that I didn't even expect such a question to be asked by him using this tone of voice. But since it was Daniel, of course, he would sound like this. I was so shocked by his question that I accidentally ripped a page out from my book.
"That was a more dramatic action than I expected," Daniel said to me with his so straightforward voice that I can't seem to answer him seriously or what?
"I was just surprised," I said as I held the ripped page in my hands. "It's nothing more than that, I swear."
"To the point of you tearing your favorite book?" Oh no, Daniel is starting to get suspicious. Of course, he would be suspicious. All his detective games must be taking its toll on him. "The Richard I knew wouldn't tear anything from a book, especially since it's a book he needs."
It's bad that he started to suspect me but it's good to me that he didn't question me relating to any criminal activities or something. It's true that I like boys since I am truthfully a girl, I don't really have anyone in mind or I'm interested in, but I can't let my male identity like guys as well.
I can't let rumors of Richard being gay spread throughout the whole school, even though Richard Knight is the fake identity I just can't let his reputation turn out like this. I couldn't think of any answer that would lead him off the course of where he was going to but I tried to think of a new topic that can carry him away from what he was thinking.
"How would you say that?" I asked, trying to sound unfazed.
"You've recently been avoiding Russell, your best friend, after your 16th birthday." Again with one of his many detective games. "Did the two of you talk or something?"
"Does it look like that?" I said, trying to sound convincing.
I was so desperate to get out of this confusing situation that I can't even think straight. It's easier telling the truth than making up stories on the way but I can't just say 'Actually the father I thought was dead was actually alive and he's currently running one of New York's largest criminal groups and if you don't want to get shot in the head then don't go anywhere near me.'
I'm bad at lying but I can't just stay silent, both of those would only raise his suspicions. Just then I saw Jack passing by outside the classroom with his group of jocks with him. This is probably the first time I've ever felt relieved after seeing Jack and the other group of bullies. I started to crumple the torn page in my hands and aimed it at Jack. I just hope I managed to hit him, seeing Russell playing basketball often should help me even a bit. I aimed it at Jack and then bulls' eye. I've hit him directly on his head. He must have felt it because he started to look enraged.
He turned to look behind him and saw the paper ball I threw at him. He picked it up harshly and started to look at the people passing by him.
"Who threw this?!" Jack yelled out in the hallway. "Whoever did it, you better come out now before I hunt you down."
He looked at everything around him until his eyes landed on me. I purposely snickered at him to attract his attention. It wasn't one of my best ideas but I was desperate enough to do something risky such as exposing myself to one of my own threats.
"What's this?" Jack went straight in my direction and stepped into the classroom. "You want to fight with me, Knight?!"
Jack grabbed me on the collar of my shirt and lifted me up from my chair. He started to wind his arm behind him, getting ready to punch me as hard as he can. Okay, this is seriously not one of my best ideas. I was desperate to escape but I'm not this desperate to get punched in the face. When he was about to release his punch, someone tapped his shoulder from behind. It's the physics teacher, Mr. Jones, appearing just in time to save me.
"Excuse me, Mr. Parker." Jack turned around and saw Mr. Jones. "If I could recall, you don't belong in my class, so please, let go of Mr. Knight and get out of my class."
You could tell just by the look of it that Jack was intimidated by Mr. Jones but nevertheless, he roughly lets go of my collar. He pushes me back causing me to trip but I was caught by Daniel before I could have fallen then he left the classroom after he gave me a death glare.
"If you are not hurt, Mr. Knight." Mr. Jones said to me after Jack left. "Let us start class."
Everyone started to sit back to their desks and Mr. Jones went to the front of the class to start the lecture. I also went back to my sit. I glimpse at Daniel who was sitting next to me. He seems to have forgotten all the suspicion he had for me and then he went on in listening to Mr. Jones's lectures. I was really a good thing that the fight didn't extend any further than it should be.
School's now done and now I'm currently walking in one of the school's hallways without everyone. It's weird, every time school finished we always agreed in meeting up and hanging out later that's why right now my guitar and backpack are both strapped on either side of my shoulders. I was confused but I still kept on walking the hallways. But I'm also glad that they aren't here, I still haven't recovered from what happened in Physics class. I kept on walking until someone called out for me behind my back.
I looked behind me and saw Russell, Lin, Daniel, and Steven there. Everyone had a serious look on their face. I could feel the atmosphere around them with tension, is it possible that they've all started to suspect me?
I had no other choice but to run away from them. I know that this would only heighten their suspicions but I can't let them question me. I ran away, dodging the walking people in the hallway. I looked behind me when I heard footsteps chasing me. And there I see Russell and Steven running after me, bumping the other people but dodged the others along the chase. I was so focused on running away from Russell and Steven that I didn't even notice when Lin and Daniel appeared in front of me and blocked the only direction where I can escape. I stopped running and started to think of what to do next but it gave Russell and Steven time to catch up to me and restrain my arms behind my back.
The two of them started to drag me to a nearby classroom followed by Lin and Daniel walking behind. They waited for everyone to leave the classroom before locking it. Russell and Steven let go of me and I went to the opposite side of the room. Lin and Daniel were standing in front of the door, Steven was at one corner of the room near me, and Russell was standing in front of me. They were all glaring at me but out of all of them, Russell's glare is the most deadly of them all.
"Where do you think you're going, Richard?" Lin asked me. Her voice was that as if she was talking to a child but I know her. She's trying to put more tension in me.
"Not planning to leave us again, are you?" Steven asked. I looked behind for a moment to look at him but I saw Daniel advancing forward with one step.
"Not even staying here to answer our questions?" Daniel asked with curiosity. "Like you did during Physics class?"
I kind of expected that they were this angry with me but I didn't expect them to take it this far. Ambushing me where there were a lot of people, hunting me down until I was trapped, and dragging me inside a classroom with no one but us in it? It seems I've dug my own grave.
"Listen, guys." I started to talk calmly in front of them. "I can explain everything."
"Shut up!" Russell yelled furiously. "I'd rather cut out your vocal cords than hear a single word come out from your mouth."
This is serious. Sure I and Russell had ups and downs in our friendship but this is, by all, the most powerful downfall of our friendship. My plan to calm them down failed instantly.
"Have you no shame of what you're doing," Lin said to me.
"Saying as we're friends for a long time." Seven seems to be controlling his anger speaking to me. "We'll hear what your reason is for avoiding us."
"Because if you're gone," Daniel said with a straight face. "The guitarist and the brains of the band would be gone."
"Shut up, Dan!" Lin and Steven both yelled at once.
I couldn't talk, not because I was scared or anything, but because no matter how hard I want to, I can't tell them anything which may expose them to danger. Even though Russell was furious, I know, as his best friend, that he was confused about my actions and was desperate to figure out the reason I was so mysterious. I couldn't stand in anymore. I can't let everybody worry about me anymore.
"Then I'll tell all of you the truth," I said as I finally made up my mind.
"And if you lie, Richard," Russell said with anger. "I might beat you up."
Knowing Russell, what he really meant was 'Lie to me and I swear you won't be able to recognize yourself in the mirror.' Until now, he seems to really doubt my suspicions even though it's as light as day that my ignorance is visible.
"...Fine then, the reason why I avoid all of you is-"
When I was about to start explaining, the door which they've looked from the inside started to be open ferociously. The room was filled with consecutive banging on the door and voices of girls which were impossible to know what they were talking about since they're all speaking at the same time. When I thought that the door would hold out, it suddenly burst open, letting a stampede of girls enter the classroom.
"There he is! It's that guy with brown hair!"
"Get him!"
I was dumbfounded. If not only for that, I would have escaped from them but I was frozen in place. And just like that, I was dragged out of the classroom by girls. I tried to look back at my friends but the stampede of girls wouldn't even let me do that. I hope they weren't hurt, but even more so, where are they taking me?