Go Sea

Ang simoy ng hangin malapit sa dagat ang nagpapabilis ng tibok ng puso ko. This is what it feels to be alive. My mind is already on vacation mode.

Kailan pa ba noong huli kaming pumunta sa dagat? Sa sobrang tagal, hindi ko na matandaan.

I kinda miss dad right now. Aayin ko siya sa susunod kasama sila kuya. Hindi pwedeng puro trabaho lang. He also needs to relax.

Isa pa, we need some quality time together. And the sea is the answer to all the problems.

Natatawa pa rin ako ng maalala ang nangyari kanina.

Georgina literally fell for my brother. To whom? I have no clue. Mabuti na lang at nahawakan siya ni Mark kung hindi ay baka nabasag pa ang nguso niya. She's wearing her sandals pero hindi naman mataas iyon.

Nasa lobby na sila noong dumating kaming magkakapatid. Tumakbo siya papunta sa akin sa sobrang saya, hindi makapaniwalang makakasama ako. Alam na ni Mark at Barbara na pinayagan ako ni dad basta kasama ang mga kapatid, siya lang ang hindi namin sinabihan.

I don't know what came to her but it is as if she lost control of her own body. Pati paglalakad ay hindi magawa ng maayos.

I stretch my arms and welcome the sea. Let's get along this week Palawan. I'm getting acquinted with you.

Excited na akong gumawa ng masasayang alaala sa bakasyong ito with my favorite people.

Ilang hakbang pa lang ang nagagawa ko ng matigil ako. There it goes again. That familiar smell of someone I want to forget. I took a deep breath to steady my heart and glanced at the man in front of me. It's you.

Why do you have to be here? Somewhere where I want be. He squinted his eyes and curled his lips. Akala ko nakalimot na ako pero nagkamali ako. Isang ngiti lang galing sa kaniya, I am back to square one.

Despite everything, I didn't let my emotion get the better of me. I schooled my face and raised my shaking hand. See? I can also do it. Or should I hug him para mas natural?

"Hi kuya!" bati ko sa kaniya. Smiling my way to believing I am the master of this game. He pursed his lips.

May halong pagdududa ang tingin na ipinukol sa akin ni Barbara. Hindi niya pa nga pala nakikita si Joaquin. Same with Mark.

"These are my friends - Barbara and Mark..." turo ko sa dalawa. Mark looked so stiff. What's his problem?

"And you already know Georgina." she just smirked sabay akbay sa akin.

"Joaquin." his voice, like a lover's kiss, is perfect for whispering sweet nothings. He's like a fine wine aging beautifully.

Georgina asked what I've been dying to hear. Sometimes, I wonder if she can read my mind.

"Why are you here?" masungit na tanong niya. Joaquin tilted his head, puzzled at her reaction.

Georgina knew my feelings for him and that he's not to be trusted. She is like my walking diary. This girl knew everything there is about me kahit na minsan ay hindi ko pa sinasabi sa kaniya. She can infer it from my actions. That's why I always remind myself not to cross her. Mahirap na.

"He's with us. I called him." sagot ni diko. I rolled my eyes inwardly. Sinabi niyo man lang sana sa akin. You know, we should share this kind of information.

Georgina lost her composure. I was puzzled by her reaction.

"He lives here?" tanong ni Barbara. Nahulaan na kung sino si Joaquin. I mentioned his name everytime they ask me about my childhood.

"Not me. My mom." tipid na sagot niya. Noon pa man, tila mamahalin ang bawat salitang sasabihin niya. He will just state what the other party needed to know.

"You just booked somewhere right?" tumango kaming apat. Kuya has this effect to us. Just ask and it will be given.

"Cancel that. Sasama tayo sa kaniya." I was dumbfounded. What happened to preventing him from any further association with me? I need to keep myself at a safe distance.

"P-pero ku-" aalma pa sana ako.

"You got dad's permission because of this." banta niya. I looked at my friends, pleading them to do something. Pleading them to save me. I've been there. Ayaw ko ng bumalik.

Umiling sila. It's a done deal then. Mukhang ako lang ang may ayaw. Ano ba naman ang laban ko? I'm on the losing side.

He cut his hair short pero mas lalo pa itong bumagay sa kanya. Why do you have to look this good? His skin is kissed by the sun, halatang nagtagal na siya dito. And those legs look so firm.

I clenched my hands to control myself. Just play it cool. Breathe in and act normal Lilliana!

Hindi ko namalayang nakatingin din pala siya. Namula ako sa kahihiyan. He's looking at me looking at him.

Bakit ba hindi ang tanawin sa labas ang pagmasdan ko? Ipinilig ko ang ulo at kinontrol ang sarili bago pa tuluyang maligaw na naman sa kaniya.

I cursed myself. This is going to be a long, long week.

My friends are busy arguing about our itinerary. One wants to hit the beach right away while the other wants to explore the local store but my stomach demands to be fed.

Maybe I should focus on them at hayaan na lang sila kuya at Joaquin. It is better for us to go different ways. Perfect. I found the perfect solution. I pat my head at my brilliance. Finally having the ability to focus on the view outside, I sighed.

This is when I badly wanted to be an artist. How nice will it be if I can use all the colors to capture this moment in a canvass. It is like freezing the time. This way, I can bring the clouds, sun and the beach with me wherever I go. We never have to part.

"Look who's so happy." sabay tapik sa akin ni Georgina.

"Me!" pag-amin ko. Nagulat siya. "I am happy because I am here with you" I said with a straight face. "and also, I get to be a mermaid for a week" biro ko.

Ayos lang basta wag mong aminin. This became my mantra.

"We both know that's not what I'm talking about." Georgina crossed her arms. Nakangisi lang si Mark at Barbara, sanay na sa mga nangyayari.

"Really? What else could it be?" pagkukunwari ko. I am only here for the sea. Not for him. Never again.

"You better lie until the end Lilliana dahil kung hindi tatawanan lang kita." I know she got my back despite this. Thank the heavens for my friends.

Nakarating kami sa kanila. Alam kong mayaman sila pero hindi ko inakalang aabot sa ganito.

They own several resorts here in Palawan and Cebu. Ganoon pa man, sa mansyon nila kami tumuloy. Halatang ginagastusan dahil namaintain ang lumang design. Para kang bumalik sa kahapon. Isa pa, malapit lang ito sa dagat at solo namin ang lugar.

Perfect. This is perfect.

My mind is racing with ideas on how to spend the time with the love of my life - the sea. Hindi ko na pinansin ang iba pa.

The maids helped us carry our luggage to our rooms. Madami sila kahit si Joaquin lang ang nandito sa ngayon. Balita ko, paminsan-minsan lang dumadalaw ang dad at mom niya dahil sa busy schedule. We occupied the second floor. I don't know why pero nalayo sa kanila ang kwarto ko. Sa pinakadulo pa ito kaya may oras pa akong pagmasdan ang mga paintings na nakasabit sa dingding. These are treasures. Sigurado akong nag-appreciate na ang value ng mga ito.

Tanaw ko ang dagat sa balkonahe. Smiling to myself, I thought of the scene where Romeo climbed just to see his love. Daydreaming, I didn't realize that there's someone looking at me from the poolside.

Inayos ko na ang gamit ko. I packed light kumpara kay Georgina at Barbara. Georgina is the worst tho. Isang malaking maleta ang dala niya but she has the guts to say those are all her essentials. Kung magkukulang ay bibili pa siya.

I closed my eyes hoping to get some rest to recharge myself. Siguradong mag-aaya ng lumabas ang mga kaibigan ko. Wala ng makakapigil pa sa kanila.

"Ma'am…" I looked at the maid in her early 30s. She looks so timid and kind. Nginitian ko siya.

"Nakahanda na po ang pagkain sa ibaba." finally. Iidlip sana ako pero naalala kong nalipasan na ako ng gutom. This is bad.

Napansin kong naroon na silang lahat. Ako na lang ang kulang. Well, blame it on my room. Ang layo ng pinanggalingan ko diba. I saw Georgina and Barbara wearing their sundresses. Ready to go na sila? Nakapagpalit na pala sila while I'm still on my shirt and jeans. I love to travel comfortably kaya madalas ay ganito ang suot ko.

Sa may poolside bar na sila naghain. From here, tanaw namin ang dagat. This place is perfect for a wedding. Tinignan ko ang upuan. Sa gitna ni Joaquin at Georgina na lang ang bakante. I shrugged. I have no choice but to sit there.

"What took you so long?" tanong ni sangko. Halatang gutom na. My stomach growled at that time. Namula ako.

They began to dig in. Joaquin put some garlic butter shrimp on my plate. I snapped my head at him. I was caught off guard.

"Your favorite" tumikhim siya at nagpatuloy kumain na parang walang nangyari. Maybe it's just me?

My friends acted like they didn't see anything. Except Georgina. She playfully looked at me, judging me for what happened.

Ako ba ang nagkusa Georgina?

I ignored her. Sinubukan kong kumain but Joaquin keep doing things I don't want him to do. Stop it this instant!

He's being attentive to me. I tried to reason with my mind that he's acting like my kuyas pero they're busy stuffing themselves full. Where is the brotherly love Severino brothers?

"T-thank you." kuya, I should add. But I didn't. I let myself dream kahit sandali. Kahit ngayon lang.

Fine. Nginitian ko na lang siya at pinilit ubusin ang mga ito. Nginuya kong mabuti ang pagkain.

Maybe I should take some pills for indigestion?