Comments of chapter undefined of The Tale of the Void Emperor
The Tale of the Void Emperor
LivingVoid
Chapter comments71
These first two chapters desperately need some editing or the very least proofreading. Your syntax isn't horrid, but you're writing informally and there are lots of simple errors that you can correct easily. This being one of your first chapters makes it a big deal that you get the first five right. Most people will read your first five chapters to judge whether or not they will like it. I honestly skipped your prologue because I don't read those. The Earth portion doesn't matter, so I can't comment on the quality of your first chapter, but this one needs work. A lot of it could be improved by just running it through Grammarly or some other program. If you're looking for more feedback I'd recommend posting on Questionable Questing Forums and getting a discord or starting a Patreon. You certainly have something here, but the whole no affinity thing is not original. Defiance of the Fall on Royalroad is doing the same thing. Guess I'll reserve judgment on that until later. The whole switching perspective thing is a bad choice. If I were you I would rewrite these two chapters in a third-person perspective. Never break the flow. Verisimilitude and what the reader is meant to feel while reading should not be spoiled. Love the name choice by the way. I once looked into that one myself for some character names.
Revenge in the mc’s original world novels are always tricky. Because most of the time they go back to execute their revenge most readers have completely forgotten what it’s about. And the amount of time it takes often doesn’t make sense because dozens or hundreds of years have gone by. I’ll keep reading to see how it goes 🙃
