6

Mimi

Any sane person would have run away to call the asylum the minute Alexander started talking about mythical creatures like werewolves. But not me, after all when have I even been sane? You have never been sane bit**. The voice in my head decided to show herself at that moment. The reason I did not react in a ‘normal’ way is because the voice in my head kept on telling me that I needed to hear him out. And perhaps I will be able to understand why I have the voice. For your understanding let me explain what I mean by voice in my head.

This voice is not my subconscious, it does not just agree with me on everything I say. And it does not just appear when I need to make a decision that question my morals. No, it is always there it talks to me and even went as far as telling me to call it Dee. It appeared when I turned 18 and since then its been with me. Talking to me and comforting me when I needed. I know I sound crazy that is how it is; I have a voice in my head named Dee and she is a part of me and have always been there. So that is the reason I decided to sit and listen to him instead of kicking him out.

I have always believed that somethings happen in a way that is pre-set, and even if you are presented with choice A and B… no matter which one you choose, you’ll end up where you were meant to be. And I guess that is why right now I am basically listening to someone tell me about stories that exist in my fantasy novels.

“why did you stop? You never finished telling me how this all relates to how you know the wolf on my portrait.”

“In order for me to explain the rest of the story, we need to get going to the house. Because the rest of the explanation is more of a demonstration than speaking. And I also want reassurance from you that you are not at all freaked out by what I have been saying.”

“Very well then, let me just get my bag from my room and we can get moving. Because the sooner we get to your house that you somehow share with my friends-the sooner I can get my explanation.”

I then stood up and took the plates and glasses we used for our snacks and went to wash them. As soon as I was done, I went to my room and took my already packed bag, my phone, charger, and laptop bag (because hey I got to work) and switched off everything. We went out of my bachelor pad and went to his car. It was a Range Rover Sport in metallic red, when the sun reflected on it, it would shine in a very mesmerising way. He opened the door for me, like a true gentleman…then proceeded to take my luggage to the boot and he got inside and started the car.

“The house is not far from here, why you don’t play some music, or do you have some questions?”

I chose to play some smooth Kenny G, mostly because I needed the time to gather myself. I am not sure if it is a certified thing, but I have a phobia. A fear of meeting new people, and I do not know from when it started but all I know is that new places and people scare the living daylight out of me. I think the underling of my fear is “What if they don’t like me? What if I make a fool of myself? What if I offend someone with my words or behaviour? Yes, it sounds silly but trust me it real. And sometimes it gets so bad that I even end up having panic attacks. It was bad but that is the story of my life, the story of the girl who was ‘unlucky’ to not get adopted from the orphanage. At first when I was still young, I was very hopeful that I would be adopted…but for some reason whenever I met a family, I did not exactly click with them and that bored me. And when I was above 10, I gave up on any hope of being adopted. Yes, the ladies or Auntie’s as we called them were not exactly mean to my face, but it was like at the first they were annoyed at me for not being adopted. But after some time, they accepted that maybe this is the way things are meant to be. I still visit them from time to time and volunteer at that orphanage. Because when we are being honest that is that only home, I know. And I guess growing up and seeing the same people daily until the year I turned 18, got on me in a way I did not expect.

I still remember the first day when I went to Sikheto University, I was so scared, and I thought I would pee myself. There were so many people and the possibilities of me making a fool out of myself were very high. I did not want to be known as that girl who made a fool out of herself on the very first day of varsity. And after all I was a bursary baby, and I did not want to ruin my chances at a new and improved life. My bursary got me a bachelor pad, paid for my fees, books, allowance and transport. The amount of money they sent into my account was so obscene that I was able to buy myself a Kia Rio during my first year. And now because of that investment I am proud owner of a fully paid Kia Rio.

Life is not all roses and sunshine and I guess that is the beauty of it all. You just must keep pushing and moving forward.