CHAPTER 11

I woke up early than i was.I will leave him for good and for his freedom.All i wanted is him to be happy.I planning to annul our wedding but everytime I see him,parang gugustuhin ko nalang ang makasama siya kaysa iwanan siya.

I planning to rent an apartment at hintayin nalang na makuha ang annulment paper.If ever,I want to rush our annulment para hindi na siya masakal pa.My lips formed a smile when i remember his sweetness and his gesture that make me fall even hard.Kung pwede lang ibalik ang oras,i will do it as long as i'm with him.

I packed all my important things then cleaned my self before I went on his room.Hindi pa nga ako nakakaalis,I already missing him.I want to hug him, now but I don't want him to be awake dahil baka manatili ako.It's cliché,but I just fell for him just fast.I sat at the edge of the bed then looked at his handsome face.I'm sure,my leaving was worth it.All of the pain was worth it dahil isang tawa o ngiti niya lang,mabubura lahat.

"All I wanted is you to be happy,amica mea."I whispered while I'm memorizing each part of his face and imperfections. "It's hard for me but I need to endure for your happiness."

I sighed before I stood up.I glanced again at him before leaving his room.My tears started to fall from my eyes and the pain was consuming my heart.It's really hard for me to leave him.It's hard for me to choose his happiness rather my happiness.Pero,siguro ganito talaga kapag nagmahal ka,Handa ka sa lahat ng sakit na matatanggap mo.Handa ka sa lahat ng bagay dahil mahal mo.It's either you love him or you love him.

I just get my luggages and called aeron to drive me.I'm lucky that he wasn't that busy kaya may oras pa para sunduin niya ako.I wipe my tears away but it doesn't stop from falling.When I saw Aeron's car,I waved my hand before entering the passenger seat.

"Are you sure you leaving him?Paano kung hanapin ka niya?"Aeron break the silence between us.I looked at him then looked away when I saw him staring at me with full of pity in his eyes.

"Hindi niya ako hahanapin.."My voice broke but I need to say something to ease the pain on my chest. "I'm sure he will be happy because no more scarlett in his life."

Hindi niya siya sumagot pa at pabor iyon sa akin.I want silence dahil napag-iisipan ko lahat ng mga dapat gawin and from now,I just thought that what I does is right.Leaving Ryder was not bad at all dahil kaligayahan niya ang nakasa-alang alang dito.I just closed my eyes before dark consumed me.

Hindi ko inaasahan na makakatulog ako.I woke up when Aeron slightly tapping my shoulder.I shyly smiled at him before getting out at his car.Hindi ko alam kung saang parte ito ng pilipinas but the environment was relaxing.I saw an one storey house at tanging bakuran lang ang nasa tabi nito.May ibang bahay pero malaki ang pagitan.I thought we're heading to an apartment?

"That is my rest house but minsan lang ako magpunta diyan.I used to sleep on my condo."He seems to read what's my reaction is kaya sinagot na niya.I'm surprised that he have his own rest house dahil hindi ganon kadali makakuha ng lupa atmakagawa ng bahay.Aeron was rich and I know that pero hindi ko akalain na ganito ang yaman niya.I remembered that he bring me on his mansion pero sa batangas pa iyon naka-base.

"I can't accept this Aeron.Yes, you're my friend but I don't want to take advantage of your kindness."I said then looked at him.He shrugged his shoulder then entered his car before drove fast,leaving me shocked.I don't know what on his mind pero alam kong iniwan niya ako rito para hindi na makatanggi pa.

I sighed then shooked my head before entering his rest house.It doesn't need a key dahil wala naman ata na magnanakaw dito,I think?As I entered the house,my jaw dropped.Malinis ang living room at kulay asul ang kulay ng lahat ng gamit.I didn't knew that this place was beautiful like this.

I just shrugged my shoulder then walked towards the room.If the living room was beautiful,the room was more than beautiful!I should thank Aeron for this.I suddenly remember our room.The room we make our first night.The room we share our laughters.My eyes watered on that thought.I missed him.Siguro ngayon gising na siya at masaya dahil wala na ako sa buhay niya.Malaya na siya.There's no scarlett that will meddle on his life.He will freely bring along a lot of woman to fuck without any hesitation.

Kung noon ito nangyari,baka magiging masaya pa ako dahil sa una ayaw ko naman talaga sa kasal but now,it already hurting my fucking heart.Gusto kong mawala ang sakit pero ayaw kong mawala ang pagmamahal ko sa kanya.I will cherish this until my last breath.

The day was fast dahil nasa harap ko na ngayon ang annulment paper na kailangan ang pirma naming dalawa.I already sign it but it tooks me twelve hours to convinced myself dahil sa totoo lang,napakahirap ang pagpaparaya sa isang bagay na sobrang halaga sa iyo.It's already time to face Ryder kahit mahirap.Sigurado ako hindi siya magdadalawang-isip na pirmahan ito.

I sighed bago pumara ng taxi.It was a cloudy day at sigurado akong babagsak ang ulan maya-maya.When I arrived infront of our house,I paid the driver then thanked him.I looked around at walang nagbago sa paligid.It's still the same house and environment I knew.

I sighed before entering the gate of our house or should I say His house?I don't know.Tahimik ang paligid at parang walang tao ang nakatira.Sa totoo niyan natatakot akong pumasok sa loob dahil baka masaktan ulit ako.Baka pagkapasok ko may kasama siyang iba at dadagdag na naman iyon sa kirot na nararamdaman ko.

I sighed before walking towards the door.Kinakabahan man ay pumasok ako sa loob and I nearly dropped my jaw dahil sa kalat kalat na gamit.Basag na vase,mga wine na natapon at baso ng cup noodles.Hindi ko akalain na sa isang linggo kong pagkawala ay magiging ganito ang bahay.I walked towards the living room at kalat kalat din ang mga gamit doon.

"L-love?"I heard his voice on the kitchen at ng lingunin ko ito I saw his tears started to fall from his eyes. "I t-thought you l-leave me."

He walked towards me and slammed his body on me.Hindi ko akalain na ganito ang magiging reaksyon niya dahil akala ko papalayasin niya ako sa bahay.Akala ko ayaw niya sa akin after that video he saw.After one week of leaving him,I realized that it's hard because I missing him.

Nang bitawan niya ako ay agad kong inabot ang annulment paper sa kanya.He stare at my face before he read what's on the paper.I saw how his face became pale before he tore the paper.I was shocked by what he do.He throw it away at walang sabi sabing lumuhod sa harapan ko that makes me stilled.

"S-sorry..Hindi ko sinasadya lahat ng nsabi ko,I just felt guilty because I do nothing to save you."His tears streamed down on his face before he held my hands.He was there begging while i'm here still shocked.In my entire life,no one's dare to kneel infront of me para lang humingi ng tawad. "I just realized it nung walang scarlett na sumalubong pagkagising ko.When you're gone,my life was a mess.Hindi ko maatim na maghanap ng iba habang wala ka.I just fucking other woman to make you jealous but everytime I sees your reaction parang wala lang ako sayo."

"You're my everything,Ryder."I whispered but still enough to heard by him.I saw how his reaction lightened at mabilisang tumayo.

"What do you mean by that?"He asked but I just shrugged my shoulder.He cupped my cheeks at tinitigan ako ng diretso sa mga mata. "You're my everything.You're my life.You're the girl I wanted to marry and carry my child.I love you since I laid my eyes on you.I love you since the day you glanced at me."

I don't know where I can find my words because i became breathless on his confession.I don't know what to say and what to do dahil kung ako ang tatanungin,I can't explain what I felt now.My cheeks heated at sigurado akong napansin niya iyon dahil nakahawak siya sa pisngi ko.My lips formed a smile and reached for his lips before kissing him gently.

From now,gusto ko nalamang manatili sa tabi niya.Gusto ko nalamang na makatabi siyabuong magdamag.All I wanted is to kiss him everytime at iparamdam ang pagmamahal na nararamdaman ko para sa kanya.Kung papipiliin ako,mas pipiliin kong masaktan kasama siya kaysa maging masaya ng wala siya.Marupok ako kapag dating sa taong mahal ko at martyr ako dahil mahal ko.

"Dahil nandito ka na!Ikaw maglinis nitong kalat!"He laughed at inilibot ang tingin sa buong bahay.Ayaw ko ng tingnan ang kuwarto niya dahil panigurado mas madumi iyon ng triple kaysa sa nakikita ko ngayon.

"Babalik nalang ako sa rest house ni Aeron.Mas malinis doon at mas maganda yun kaysa dito."I pouted and rolled my eyes on him.I saw how he clenched his jaw before gripping my wrist,tightly.Hindi naman iyon masakit kagaya nung nauna pero gusto kong mag-inarte.

"Tumira ka sa rest house niya?"He gritted his teeth.I nodded at lalo lamang nandilim ang mga mata niya.Gusto ko siyang magselos at angkinin ako na parang pagmamay-ari niya dahil iyon naman ang totoo.I'm his own property and no one would dare to trespass. "Fuck this jealousy!I will own you!"

"We stayed on the same room and you knew kung anong ginagawa ng isang babae at lalaki kapag naiwang mag-isa sa kuwarto."I teased and licked my lower lip pretending that I was thinking about delicious thing.Lalo lamang nagdilim ang mukha niya at kung pwedeng umusok ang ilong niya,magagawa na niya siguro iyon. "Charot lang!Nag-usap lang kami nung hinatid niya ako tapos guard na sinama ko sa kuwarto."Then I burst a laugh and made a leace sign on my fingers meaning that it was a joke.pero mukhang sineryoso niya ata ang sinabi ko dahil mas madilim na ang mga mata niya ngayon.

"Let's clean on our room."He pulled me towards on our room but I saw nothing.Malinis ang kuwarto at wala man lang iyon dumi.I roamed around my eyes but it was cleaned.I looked at him but in my shocked,He pushed me on the bed at walang pasintabing pinunit ang damit na suot ko.

"I will mark you as mine.I will mark you as Smith.I will mark you as my wife and you can't do anything but to moan my name and beg for pleasure."He said before entering my wetness with his long and hard shaft and he was right,I just moan his name and beg for pleasure.

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