Reviews of Rest in a Demon's Embrace [BL]
Rest in a Demon's Embrace [BL]
Tinalynge
- Overall Rate
- Writing Quality
- Updating Stability
- Story Development
- Character Design
- world background
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Shameless Author here, with a shameless review Rest in a Demon's Embrace is written by myself and my good friend Blue Jay. It is my first attempt at writing a BL novel, and we are feeling quite excited about bringing it to you all. This story is, as the title says, a BL novel. It is a cultivation novel, where a pair of lovers try to transcend their limits together. It is a sweet romance, with some action, and from time to time it will also have some drama, however, there will be no serious misunderstandings between the two main leads. I hope you will give it a try! Thank you Tinalynge
I have read the first few chapters of the book. The premise is interesting and it has a lot of potential. You requested for a honest review so I hope I don't upset you. I'm sorry if this may seem a bit harsh but here goes. What I liked: I liked that you set the scene at the beginning of the chapter. A lot of writers forget to do this but it is really important, I struggle with it myself as well. However, it was not done consistently. What really affects the quality of the book is the fact that you tell and not show. Finding the right balance between showing and telling is hard. A lot of the time in the book you told him how a character felt instead of showing it. It did not help me immerse myself in the reading. For example, when the demon puppet attacks the village, describe how it eats people, what it smells like, how it walks. Show the villagers being horrified by describing their reactions, maybe someone wets their pants or someone is sobbing. Another one, in the beginning of the novel, show that the villagers like Luo Xiao by having him talk to one or have someone ask about his health or have someone bring him something as a gift. As for descriptions, don't give it all in the beginning. Point out their general looks or something that stands out because as a reader the more I read the more vague the imagine became because I couldn't remember the description. Also, when you describe the ML. I think the word handsome has been used so much that I lost count. Not to be rude, but must you tell me how handsome he is every time he makes an appearance or speaks? Info dumping was also a big issue. All that information about the world and the cultivation system and everything, do you think a reader will be able to remember that? It destroys the reading experience completely because the reader feels like they are getting a history lecture. Background information should be peppered throughout the novel in small dosages that are relevant. Dialogue was lacking. It is hard no doubt to find the voice of your character but it is really one of the most important bits. Does what they say add value to the scene? Do you have dialogue that is pointless? It's hard to cut down from what you write, but reviewing your dialogue and cutting out unnecessary parts afterwards is vital. it's painful and long but it has to be done. Now dialogue tags. The enemy of every writer. Not long ago I struggled with them a lot. Simply, what dialogue tags are there for is to point out exactly who is speaking so the reader is clear. If there are only two people speaking dialogue tags are unnecessary, unless they add to what the character has said. I received very good advice recently from a writer, Jerry Jenkins. He has a blog where he posts a lot of helpful advice on writing and also a YouTube channel. I will add the link below so feel free to check him out if you want. https://jerryjenkins.com/how-to-write-a-book/ The next point is about breaking paragraphs. Every new thought/idea/topic/whatever it is, has to begin as a new paragraph. Large chunky paragraphs may seem better but when you read them as a reader it is hard to follow along the writing and it become tedious, Again, Jerry Jenkins has amazing advice on this topic. Point of view? I could not tell whose point of view I was supposed to be following. If you want to show multiple points of view, that is great however please avoid switching in the middle of a chapter. I also found that often the narrative was an all knowing sort; it was often used in classical writing but it's not in fashion anymore because it takes away from the reading experience. If your point of view (the lens of your camera) is following the MC, then describing how the ML is feeling does not make sense because you're writing everything the MC sees and feels and experiences. Another point is that there are too many unnecessary details. For example, I don't need to know how the bath is set and how the Mc takes his bath and how the MC gets dressed, unless it adds value to the scene to focus on that. My last point is on Character development. Although I only read a few chapters, but 6 chapters in I should already be rooting for the MC. Instead he comes across as 1d and bland. The reason for that is because you haven't taken the time in the first chapter to introduce your character to me and show me his good qualities and whatnot for me to like him. You haven't made him relatable and that is mainly because like I said the narrative was too inhuman and all knowing. And you used tell and not show too much, so I couldn't emphasize with your MC. Oh another thing is, the age gap. It makes me as a reader feel totally uncomfortable to have this really old guy basically prey on a 15 year old. Although he hasn't done anything but the way you have hinted at it makes me dislike your ML. I have no problem with age gap relationship, I love them. But please choose a less uncomfortable age for the MC. At the very least 18. He can still be considered a child learning the way of the world, but because his of age you avoid that little trap that makes your reader cringe and hate the ML. Some really great writers with great advice are: Jenna Moreci The creative penn Alexa Donne Ellen Brock Vivien Reis Brandon Sanderson They all have Youtube channels. There are a lot more channels out there but this are some of the suggestions I have if you want to go look into anything I mentioned. Hope I didn't ruin your day completely and good luck!!!!
Such a good story. It is in fact the only ongoing story I am reading. I will probably wait for another year for it to complete. It is well worth the wait, each time enough chapters to binge I'm totally immersed in that world. Excellent writing, story line, characters and their growth. The story is evenly paced while intense exciting action is smoothly written.
I read some popular novels here and find that not all of those novels are perfectly written and not 'that' beautiful. But, this novel is perfectly and beautifully written that I'm speechless and don't know how to describe it. All I wanna say is just this is one of the best novels I've ever read. I want to give it more than just five stars but I can't π€£β€[img=recommend]
With this novel you will fall in love with the characters. I won't spoil so don't look for that. There are so many points to this that I keep going back to the beginning just to reread it till new chapters are posted. I will never be tired of it. It is a well thought out book. I am always looking forward to this continuing.
