Never Forget You

*Nathan's POV*

"Nathan?"

I blinked.

Dra. Lopez was waving her hand on my face.

"Are you okay?"

"Ano pong nangyari?"

"You were staring blankly for 2 minutes, Nathan."

Staring??

"How do you feel? Okay ka lang ba?"

"Yes, doc. I'm sorry.."

"It's fine." Sagot niya. "Can you still continue?"

"..."

I don't think I can.

I felt exhausted.

"You don't have to push yourself, Nathan." She said. "This can get really tiring kaya kailangan mo din magpahinga."

Tumango ako.

"I'll move your next session tomorrow para makauwi ka na. Just let us know kung sakaling hindi ka makakapunta."

"Thank you, Doc."

When I was waiting for the elevator, I noticed something at the end of the hallway.

I couldn't resist the urge to enter since the door was already opened.

Tama ako.

It's the same room.

My eyes darted to the piano in the middle.

"Kuya, mali." Cole said. "It's not D. G dapat."

"Ha?"

"Look." She removed my hands from the keys and played. "G, D, A, D, G, D, A, Bm7, G, D, A, Bm7, G, D, A, D."

G D A D G D A---

"..."

"I know it's not easy, Kuya." Sabi niya. "Pero paano mo matututunan kung chorus palang, mali ka na?"

I'm too tired.

We've been practicing non-stop simula nung nalaman niya yung kasunduan namin ni Theia.

I don't know how she found out, but she insisted on teaching me herself.

I didn't want to let her do it at first kasi hindi niya naman alam kung paano, but I was surprise when she played the whole song in front of me.

It turns out she was having lessons with Theia tuwing nasa school ako.

"I want to sleep.."

"Hindi pwede." Sagot niya. "May second verse at bridge ka pang aaralin. You know you can't skip that."

"Ugh."

ANG DAMI PA PALA.

"Ikaw kasi, oo ka ng oo." She rolled her eyes at me. "Kung hindi mo kaya, you should've said no."

"Coleeeeee.."

Ano nang gagawin ko??

"Ikaw tuloy ang masasabihan niya ng no."

I'm doomed.

Baka hindi na maging kami ni Theia.

"Wait."

"What?"

"I just had an idea." Sabi niya. "You're good at memorizing right?"

I nodded.

"Hmm." She had one hand on her chin. "Paano kung.."

"Kung?"

"Hiramin ko yung keyboard ni Ate Theia."

"Para saan pa?" I asked. "May piano naman dito."

"Because we can't stick something here."

"Stick what?"

"We'll be cutting a print out of the chords tapos ididikit natin sa mismong key."

"Then--"

Tumango siya. "We just have to trust your ability to memorize, Kuya."

She raised her right hand to me and I slapped it with mine.

"I'm so brilliant."

"You are, Cole." Pagsangayon ko. "Thank you."

"Hindi tayo pwedeng tumanggap ng no, Kuya." She smiled at me. "Yes lang dapat."

Magaling nga ako magkabisado pero bakit sa lahat ng pwede kong makalimutan siya pa, Cole?

Please help me remember her more..

***

"Ate?"

Pagkauwi ko, dumiretso ako sa kwarto ni Ate. I knocked three times pero walang sumagot kaya pumasok nalang ako.

Nasa cr kaya siya?

I was able to open the bathroom door but there was still no sign of her.

May itatanong pa naman ako tungkol kay Theia..

I was already planning to leave when I saw something on her bed.

Gifts?

May malaking white na box, red ring box at locket.

Wait--

Did Kuya Alec proposed to her??

I sighed in relief.

It's empty.

I glanced at the other things.

Para saan ba lahat ng 'to?

She even bought a locket.

Is that--?

No. Hindi pwede.

But it was too familiar.

I picked it up and checked.

Tama ako.

It has Ivy's initials.

She said it was missing.

Bakit nandito kay Ate?

"You don't understand! Importante yung laman nun!"

Ano bang laman nito?

Anong---?

It fell from my hand and something rolled out of it..

That's---

"Ahhhh..."

Ang sakit..

Sobrang sakit ng ulo ko..

"Happy 35th month, mio. That is exactly, 2 years and 11 months."

"I love this. Sleeping and waking up beside you. I can imagine doing this every single day for the rest of my life. Hindi na kita papakawalan nyan."

"Sinong nagsabi na pwede mo 'kong pakawalan?"

Voices.

Again.

"Dapat palagi kang ganito kumain ha?"

"Edi lagi kang nandito para subuan ako?"

"Pwede rin. Do you want that, my Theia?"

"Yes please!"

"Date tayo mamaya?"

"Surprise me!"

"Your wish is my command."

My Theia..

"Mio, babalik rin ako agad."

"Hindi ba pwedeng isama mo nalang ako, baby?"

"I'm sorry, baby pero hindi pwede. Ihahanda ko pa kasi yung surprise ko."

"But I'll miss you.."

"Alam mo namang hindi kita matitiis kapag ganyan ka diba? But I really need to go, baby."

"Sigurado ka bang babalik ka agad?"

"Yes, baby. I promise. Hindi ko naman kayang malayo ng matagal sa'yo."

"Sorry, pinapahirapan kita.."

"No, mio. Wag mong sabihin yun. You know that I love you, right?"

"And I love you too. Sige na, paaalisin na kita, baby. Ito na, bibitaw na ko."

"Ang cute mo parin kahit nagtatampo ka. I love you so much, Aletheia Courtney Zamora."

"I love you too, James Nathaniel Go."

******

*Day of the accident*

"Ateeeeeee!!!!"

"Bakit ang pula pula mo?" Tanong niya pagkakita sa'kin. "Are you--"

I couldn't help but smile. "Oo.."

"I can't believe Theia makes you blush that way."

"I don't know how she does it."

"Mahal mo kasi!" Asar niya.

Napangiti ako lalo.

Because it's true.

I really love her.

Ate opened her arms to me. "Happy monthsary, baby bro."

"Thank you, Ate." I hugged her. "I can't really define what I feel right now.."

"I know." She answered while patting my back. "Binigay mo na ba sa kanya yung binili nating dress?"

"Yes. Sana magustuhan niya."

I asked Kuya to leave it in her room pag-alis ko.

Binitawan niya ko tsaka umupo sa sala. I didn't noticed that she's eating.

"Kumain ka na ba?"

I nodded. "Sumabay ako kanila Mommy at Daddy."

Ate grinned at me. "Aba ibang tawag na ha."

I shrugged. "Ganun talaga. Ikaw naman sa susunod."

"Mukhang matagal pa kami ni Alec." Sagot niya na medyo natatawa. "We're too focused on work. Anyways, mag-ready ka na sa surprise mo dali."

"Anong oras kayo pupunta?" I asked while heading towards the stairs.

"I'm not sure yet, itatanong ko pa kay Mama." She said. "Sila Tita?"

"Kailangan ko muna sunduin si Theia bago sila makaalis. I also need to pick up the bouquet of roses I ordered."

"Ang dami mo pa palang gagawin." Sabi niya. "Go, bro. Get ready."

***

"Wow."

"Does it look okay?"

She gave me a thumbs up. "Bagay na bagay."

It felt so weird wearing a suit but I want everything to be perfect. This is our special day.

I'm finally going to propose to her.

And hopefully, she'll say yes.

"I'm very nervous, Ate.."

Nilapitan niya ko. "That's normal.

"I know..

"Don't tell me yan pa yung pipigil sa'yo?"

"Of course not." I said. "Not now."

I was getting teary eyed when she looked at me.

"I just--"

"Shh.. it's okay.."

"I've a-always wanted to be with her, Ate.."

"Oh, Nathan.." Naiyak narin siya. "I'm so happy for you.."

I can't believe that after all those years, I'm finally making that dream come true..

Makakasama ko narin siya sa wakas at hindi na namin kailangang maghiwalay pa.

"Ano ba yan." Sabi niya. "Hindi pa kayo kinakasal, nag iiyakan na tayo."

It made both of us laugh.

"You should go, Nathan." She said while wiping my tears. "Hinihintay ka na niya."

I nodded. "I'll see you later."

"See you." Sagot niya. "Be happy, my little brother. I pray for all your happiness this day."

"Thank you, Ate."

"Love you!"

"Love you too!" I kissed her on the cheek and left.

***

"Baby, I'm on my way."

Tinawagan ko siya pagkaalis ko sa flower shop.

"You're just in time!" Sagot niya. "Kakatapos ko lang din mag-ayos, baby."

"Nagustuhan mo ba yung dress na binili ko?"

"Sobra! Bagay din sa sapatos na binigay mo." She replied. "Thank you, mio."

Her response made me smile.

Buti hindi napupunit yung pisngi natin kapag sobrang saya natin no?

"I can't wait to see you, mio."

"Me too." Sagot niya. "Mag-iingat ka ha. Hurry back to me, mio."

"Wait for me."

"I will. I love you."

"I love you too."

I hang up and stared at the Tiffany&Co. paperbag beside me.

Inabot ko yung box na nasa loob.

It can't be..

I turned it over but there was still nothing.

Kanina lang nandito yun.

Think, Nathan.

May pinaglagyan ka bang iba?

Wala..

I placed it on the frontseat beside the bouquet.

Pero nasa likod ko na yung roses.

Ivy.

Nandito siya kanina kaya inilipat ko yun.

Impossible..

She wouldn't do that.

Baka nahulog niya lang.

Malapit na ko sa bahay nila Theia.

Hindi ako makakapagpropose ng wala yun..

I tried to look around the car while driving.

There.

On the floor, under the compartment.

I couldn't use my hand. Madudumihan naman kapag paa yung ginamit ko.

When I reached another stop, niluwagan ko agad yung seatbelt at kinuha yung box.

I can't lose this ring.

I was trying to tighten the seatbelt when something caught my eye.

Tuloy tuloy yung truck sa paggalaw kahit naka-red light na. May tatawid na bata pero hindi parin humihinto.

Masasagasaan siya..

Hindi ko alam kung anong ginagawa ko.

I just found myself driving between the kid and the truck.

I was already in the middle when I realized what I just did..

*beep* *beep*

This day felt so perfect that an accident didn't even crossed my mind.

My body started to feel numb.

Wala na akong maramdaman.

Nakatitig lang ako sa box na nasa kamay ko.

It wasn't holding the ring that I bought for Theia.

I'm sorry, mio..

******

"NATHAN!!!"

"NATHANNN!!!"

"Nathan, please!!"

"Answer me!!"

I felt someone shaking me.

"Ate?"

"Oh god.."

Umiiyak siya sa harapan ko.

"What's wrong??"

"A-ako pa talaga yung tinatanong mo??" Sagot niya. "I thought something happened to y-you! Kanina ka pa nakatitig dyan habang umiiyak.."

I touched my face.

Tama siya.

Lumuluha ako.

"Ano bang nangyari??!" She asked. "Okay ka lang ba??"

"Ate, bakit nasa'yo yung singsing ni Theia?"

"Ivy, gave it to me. Sabi niya---" Her eyes suddenly widened while looking at me. "N-naaalala mo na.."

"Ngayon ngayon lang.." Sagot ko. "What do you mean? Galing kay Ivy??"

"Pumunta siya dito kanina. Sabi niya kailangan mo daw makita yung nasa loob nung locket."

"She took the ring, Ate." I said. "Kinuha niya sa'kin bago ako maaksidente."

"Wait-- what???"

"I'll explain that later." Sabi ko. "I need to get to Theia."

"..."

"Ate??"

Hinawakan niya yung kamay ko.

"Kailangan ko siya makausap."

"No, Nathan." She answered. "You can't.."

"Why? Is it Kuya? Ayaw niya bang makita ko si Theia??"

"Listen--"

"Ate, I can't lose her." Sagot ko. "Not now that I finally remembered everything.."

"You already lost her.."

"What???"

"Umalis na siya." She said. "Theia's going to have a surgery in US."

"Edi susunod ako sa kanila."

"Nathan--"

"Ate, please.."

"I wanted to help you, but I can't." Sabi niya. "She doesn't have any plans on coming back.."

"Paano yung graduation?"

"Hindi yun yung ibig kong sabihin, Nathan.."

She doesn't have any plans on coming back..

To me?

"Nathan.."

"She's leaving me...?"

"..."

"Tama ako diba?" I looked at her. "Iniwan niya na ko?"

Hindi siya makatingin sa'kin.

It's true..

Hindi ako makapaniwala.

This is really happening..

Ate stood up and handed me the white box on her bed.

"It's from Theia.."

***

My Dearest Nate,

By the time you read this, I might not be with you anymore.

We're going to US for my heart surgery. After months of searching, Gab found a hospital that can possibly help me.

Sa totoo lang, sobrang kinakabahan ako.

What if I die? Paano kung hindi ko kayanin?

What if God couldn't give me another chance to live and be with the people I love kasi hanggang dito nalang talaga yung buhay ko?

But I couldn't give up..

The pain of losing someone is not something I wanted them to feel.

Natatakot ako, I can't deny that.

Pero naisip ko na baka magbago yung desisyon niya kapag nakita niyang gusto ko pa mabuhay.

If he can extend my life for a day, that would mean so much. Kaya kahit wala ka na dito, lalaban parin ako.

Aside from this letter, may tatlong bagay kang binigay sa'kin na ibabalik ko.

This hanky.

I was so used to crying ever since I was little dahil sa kalagayan ko. Sabi nga nila, sobrang bata ko pa para makaranas ng ganitong sakit.

But pain doesn't have a specific age, Nate. Kahit kailan o saan, bata man o matanda, pwedeng masaktan.

The shoes.

You may not remember, but you gave this to me on our last monthsary. Hindi ko nga naisip na yun rin ang una at huling beses na masusuot ko 'to.

And lastly, our promise ring..

This served as the proof of our love.

I never wanted to take this off pero dahil hindi na tayo tulad ng dati, kailangan ko na ibalik 'to.

Do you believe in superstitions, Nate?

Yung mga paniniwala na hindi pa napapatunayan pero sinusunod parin natin?

Kasi ako, oo.

Pero dahil sa'yo, nagbago yung pananaw ko.

Sabi nila kapag binigyan ka ng panyo, papaiyakin ka ng taong yun.

But you didn't make me cry.

Sa tagal nating magkasama, my happiness was always your priority.

Kapag binigyan ka daw ng sapatos, iiwanan ka.

But you didn't leave.

Malungkot man tayo o masaya, umulan man o umaraw, you continued to stay beside me, mio.

These three things left precious memories na kahit kailan, hinding hindi ko malilimutan.

You took care of me, loved and cherished me.

What more can I ask for kung lahat ng kailangan at gusto ko, nasa'yo?

Thank you for staying and sincerely loving me in those 35 months, baby. You've given me too much and now, I'm doing the same thing for you.

Alam mo naman kung gaano kaimportante sa'kin yung happiness mo diba?

And now that it belongs to someone else, I'm finally letting you go, Nate.

For the last time..

I love you, James Nathaniel Go.

Goodbye, mio.

-Theia

Beside all of the things she returned was a vial.

"Do you know what flowers I admire aside from roses?"

"What?" I asked while brushing my fingers through her hair.

"Pink carnation." She smiled at me. "Because it means that I'll never forget you."

I stared at the flower while crying.

How about me, Theia?

Paano ako mabubuhay ng wala ka?

******