Black Suit

*Nathan's POV*

"Ugh, Nate!" Reklamo niya. "Hindi ganyan."

"Ganito dapat." She removed my hands. "D, A, D, A/C#, Bm, G, D, A, D, A, D, A/C#, Bm, G."

"See?" Tumigil siya. "Diba ang dali lang?"

"It's not."

"You're just going to repeat the keys from the intro. Got it?"

Umiling ako.

Alam yung intro pero pag verse na, nalilito na ko.

She sighed. "Diba kabisado mo na yun?"

"Are you mad at me?"

Her eyes widened.

Nagulat rin yata siya. "Was it too much?"

I nodded.

Binaba niya yung lid tsaka tumingin sa'kin.

"Sorry.."

"It's okay." Sagot ko. "May problema ba?"

She doesn't seem like her usual self.

"They scheduled my operation two days from now.." Sabi niya. "Matagal namin hinintay yung araw na yun pero ngayong malapit na, natatakot na ko.."

Niyakap ko siya.

"*****, wala ka naman dapat ikatakot." I said. "Nandito parin naman ako paggising mo."

"But I'm too scared, Nate." She said. "It's a heart operation. What if hindi kayanin ng puso ko?"

"It will be okay." Sagot ko. "Kaya nga ooperahan ka na kasi kaya na nyan."

"Really?"

"Oo naman." I said. "Kaya na nyan kasi nandito na ko."

She pulled away from the hug. "Seryoso na ko, nagagawa mo pa magbiro."

"Hindi kasi ako sanay ng ganyan ka." I wiped her tears. "You're the strongest person I know, *****."

"Will you wait for me?"

"I will." Sagot ko. "Hihintayin rin kita magising and maybe.."

"Maybe?"

"Sagutin mo na rin ako."

Lumayo ako agad kasi papaluin niya ko. But she didn't even move.

"Okay." Bigla niyang sabi.

"Huh?"

"Sige, sasagutin na kita."

"Talaga???"

She nodded. Naghintay ako saglit kasi baka nagbibiro lang siya.

"On one condition though."

"Ano yun??"

Tinuro niya yung piano. "You need to play the whole song for me."

"What???"

Tinaasan niya ko ng kilay. "Mr. Go, are you complaining?"

"I wouldn't dare, Ms. Zamora." I answered. "Sabi ko nga magpa-practice na ko."

I opened the piano and playfully brushed along the keys.

We ended up laughing together.

***

Another dream. I told myself.

But it felt too real.

It was hard to separate it from reality.

Until when will I dream about someone whose face I couldn't recognize??

Sobrang sakit ng ulo ko.

I couldn't sleep at all last night.

Hindi ko narin maalala yung pangalan niya.

Zamora?

I'm sure I heard that somewhere.

Alexander Zamora.

Si Kuya Alec.

"If your family and friends were insisting that you forgot her, isn't it time para makinig ka sa kanila?"

*knock knock*

"Ate?"

She looked surprised. "Nathan?"

"Hindi ka ba papasok?"

"Hindi. Wala akong gana."

"Why?" Tanong niya. "May problema ba sa school?"

"Nothing." I answered. "Tapos na naman yung exams. There's nothing for me to do there."

Umupo ako sa higaan niya.

She looked busy.

Wag nalang kaya?

Patayo na sana ako nung lumingon siya.

"What's wrong?"

"Si Theia, I want to get to know her."

Her smile automatically appeared.

Gaano niya kaya katagal hinintay na magtanong ako?

"Of course, bro." She said. "Anong gusto mong malaman sa kanya?"

Lumapit siya agad sa'kin.

"Where did I met her?"

Alam niya kaya?

"Sa piano room!"

"Piano room?"

Piano? Yun lang yung panaginip ko kanina.

"Yes." Sagot niya. "Nicole was admitted in the hospital that time and she was there as well. Hindi ko alam yung buong pangyayari pero ang sabi mo, sa piano room kayo nagkakilala."

"I told you?"

She nodded.

"And then?"

"You said it was love at first sight. You courted her and after 3 months, naging kayo."

I courted her?

"Si Ivy?"

"Hiwalay na kayo bago mo pa siya makilala."

"Bago ko siya makilala? Pero magkaklase kami diba?"

"Yes, but she was home schooled before." Sagot niya. "This was the only year she enrolled. Hindi mo ba maalala?"

I was about to shake my head nung biglang itong sumakit.

"Nicole! Kanina pa kita hinahanap. Kung saan saan ka na naman nagpupunta."

I was starting to hear voices.

"Don't push yourself too much, Nathan.."

"Gaano na kami katagal?"

"When you had the accident, it's your 35th month." Sabi niya. "You were on your way to her bago ka maaksidente."

"Is that really true?"

Tumango siya.

Theia said the same thing nung nasa ospital pa ko.

"You were on your way to me, Nate. Sinabi mong babalikan mo ko pero bakit hindi ka na bumalik?

"Sigurado ka bang babalik ka agad?"

"Yes, baby. I promise. Hindi ko naman kayang malayo ng matagal sa'yo."

The voices. Again.

S-sobrang sakit..

"Nathan.."

"How about this ring, Ate?" I held up my hand. "Who gave this to me?"

"Mamaya nalang ulit. I think you need to rest."

"It's okay.. I'm fine."

Kailangan kong tiisin para malaman ko yung totoo.

"You bought that." Sagot niya. "It's your promise ring with her."

She even knows about our promise ring.

Posible bang nagsasabi siya ng totoo?

"Anong buong pangalan niya?"

"Nathan, tama na.."

"Please, Ate..."

"Aletheia Courtney Zamora." I said. "It's written on the ring. AC & JN."

I took off the ring and stared at it.

Tama lahat ng sinabi niya.

Pero paano?

"That's impossible."

"Nathan.."

"You're lying.."

"Totoo lahat ng sinabi ko."

"No!"

"Hindi ba yun ang dahilan kung bakit ka nandito?" I said. "You went here knowing there's something wrong, diba?"

"..."

"May mali sa alaala mo at pumunta ka dito to confirm that."

"Stop!"

"The look on your face tells me that I've confirmed everything pero bakit ayaw mo parin maniwala?"

"Ano nga palang pangalan mo?"

"Aletheia Courtney Zamora. Theia nalang."

"James Nathaniel Go. You can call me Nate."

Those voices.

It's not real.

It's my dream taking over my memories.

Taking over me.

"Nathan, you have to believe me." Sabi niya. "Kailangan mo makinig sa puso mo."

"ENOUGH!" I shouted at her and left.

"Nathan!"

***

"Nathan? Nathan??"

"In the count of three, you'll slowly open your eyes."

"1, 2, 3."

There was a snap.

Bigla akong namulat.

I was gasping for air.

"Nathan, breathe." She said. "You're awake now."

What just happened?

It felt so real.

"Pen, will he be okay?"

"He's just shocked, Meg." Sagot niya. "He'll come around when he's ready."

I blinked a couple of times before looking around.

Nakabalik na ko.

"Nathan, do you still remember why we're here?"

I slowly nodded. "Theraphy."

Pagkatapos nung pag-uusap namin ni Ate, dumiretso ako sa ospital.

I can't take it anymore.

Hindi ko kayang alalahin mag-isa yung nangyari.

"You can start telling us what happened when you're ready, Nathan." Dra. Lopez said.

"I don't know what day it was.."

"That's fine." Sagot ni Tita. "Go on."

"I picked up a bouquet of red roses from a shop.." Sabi ko. "I was driving when I saw someone.."

"And?"

"I stopped the car and she went in."

"She?"

"She was wearing a dress.."

Dra. Lopez nodded while writing.

"She took the small package out of the passenger seat where she sat and opened it." I continued. "It was a red box?"

I saw something exactly like it.

Saan ko nga ba nakita yun?

"She got off after and then--"

Napapikit ako sa sakit.

"Nathan??"

"I'm ok-kay.." Sabi ko. "I'll just--"

"Maybe we should continue this next time."

"I agree, Meg." She said. "It's his first time. Malamang napagod siya."

"Thank you so much, Pen."

"No problem, Meg." Tumingin siya sa'kin. "You don't have to force yourself to remember something, Nathan. We'll do it slowly."

I nodded. "Thank you po."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Tita asked paglabas namin.

"Yes."

Hindi ko parin maintindihan kung anong nakita ko.

"Nathan, do you remember anything about the girl's dress?"

"I think it's---"

"White?"

Tumango ako.

"Ito ba yun?" She held out her phone to me.

The photo was zoomed in on the white dress.

I stared at her.

"Tita, how---"

"You said you weren't sure what day it was." Sabi niya. "Bakit?"

"Because I was wearing a suit." Sagot ko. "I don't wear one unless there's a special occasion."

Huminto siya sa paglalakad.

"What's wrong, Tita?"

"Is it black?"

She gasped when I nodded.

"Tita--"

"You were wearing a black suit when you were taken to the hospital, Nathan.."

"W-what??"

"Posibleng mali ako pero.."

"..."

"It might be the day of your accident.."

******