Ch41. Return to Kiri

Rei and Konan leisurely walked through the gates of Kirigakure, hand in hand as they enjoyed the humidness of the village. It wasn't really the feel of home but they did come from Ame no Kuni so the humidness was something very familiar and pleasant to them.

Just as they headed towards the guard outpost to show their documents, an ANBU landed in front of them, staying on one knee.

"Lord Mizukage is summoning you, Rei-sama, Konan-sama." The man respectfully said and disappeared with water shunshin.

Rei and Konan might not be recognized by many chunin or even jonin but they DID spar with the Seven Swordsmen of Kiri on a regular basis. That coupled with the fact that ANBU had to memorize the entire Bingo Book and the 'exchange of information' aka rumors of whatever non-classified happens in the office of Mizukage. Yeah, the entire ANBU force was familiar with Rei and Konan as masters at chakra manipulation who can use their elemental chakra during sex.

What! The respect was not due to being able to use superb Jutsu or being two of only five S-rank shinobi of Kiri. Not at all... it was all due to the perverted ANBU female who passed out with a nosebleed during the briefing after their first time!

Both Rei and Konan could only wryly smile as they started their leisure walk towards the Kage Tower. They were sure the Mizukage was awaiting them. Hmm, let him wait then, no~?

...

Both Rei and Konan stood in front of Mizukage in his office, having a stare-off. Neither side spoke as the air grew heavy. The atmosphere intensified and one could almost hear the hearts of ANBU beating.

'Ba-dum. Ba-dum. Ba-dum'

So it went as The Mizukage glared with narrowed eyes at casually standing Rei and Konan, still holding hands. His eyebrow was twitching as he drummed his index finger on the table, his lips scowling.

"You... is there really nothing you would like to add to your report, heeh?" The Mizukage grit his teeth.

"No." Both Rei and Konan chorused calmly.

"Konoyaro..." The Mizukage bit out when he saw that neither Rei nor Konan wanted to add anything to their report and released a long insufferable sigh.

He took a deep breath to recollect himself.

"I see." He impassively stated and looked at the file on his table.

"So... you two didn't encounter any blue tornado made of fire reaching the sky, bringing a literal storm of ice to the capital city, huuuh?" Mizukage asked as he intently peered at Rei and Konan.

"No." Both Rei and Konan again chorused calmly.

"I see..." The Mizukage stated plainly.

"I suppose that neither of you saw any missing-nin capable of... I don't know... destroying cities during your visit to the capital, haah?"

"Nope, not that we know of." Rei shook his head and Konan nodded eagerly.

"Hmm, good. Security nowadays is really good, isn't it?" The Mizukage asked with an exaggerated nod. "A person is walking on the street and doesn't have to fear sudden storms or tornadoes of fire. Really good." He said in mock-satisfaction. "It's not like the capital city would be suddenly hit by a hailstorm, is it? Surely not when two of my strongest ninja are in the city..." He trailed off mockingly and the stare-off continued.

"I am sure it is a coincidence." Rei nodded assuredly.

"Coincidence." Konan added as she bobbed her head.

The Mizukage's eye twitched.

The ANBU were now choking on suppressed laughter in their hiding places.

"So... you are saying it was not you who completely destroyed a whole street in the capital, covered it in a shitton of ice. So much, in fact, it is still not melted even after days. It was surely not you who sent a shitton of wind that almost toppled down buildings... Oh, and damaged the Daimyo's castle, by the way. The entire castle garden was destroyed, too... Millions of Ryo worth of plants down the drain... Now I wonder, who could have been responsible for that, hm?"

"You surely are not responsible for scaring the populace by making the skies BURN, of all things, right? When the witnesses speak of a blue-haired woman and pale-haired man kissing each other in the middle of the street it all happened... That was surely not you, now, was it, riiiight?" The Mizukage glared with a frown. He could feel the start of migraine as the two decided to be 'forgetful'.

"When you say it like that..." Rei trailed off awkwardly as he scratched his cheek.

"Yes..." The Mizukage expectantly leaned forward with a hopeful look.

"We may have seen a missing-nin or two." Rei seriously added.

"Or two." Konan nodded.

"Right." The Mizukage deflated. "I am sure you did."

"Pray tell, how did that missing-nin or two look like. You don't want to tell me it was a male-form of Tsunade Senju, the best medic of Konoha, kissing with female-form of Dan Kato, the candidate for Hokage position, do you?" The Mizukage quipped in sarcasm.

"Well..." Rei started.

"Yes?" The Mizukage sweetly smiled.

"Depends... is Dan Kato still alive?" Rei quipped.

"No. No, he is definitely NOT ALIVE! NOT FOR YEARS!" Mizukage's smile fell as he stood up barely holding himself from screaming at tearing his hair off. After a while of panting, he just powerlessly flopped back into his chair.

"Moreover, according to our spies, Senju despised Kato." He muttered to himself.

"Well... in that case the missing-nin was..." Rei's eyes darted all over the office but then he shrugged in 'whatever' motion. "...pink."

"...and fluffy." Konan added helpfully.

"Long ears too." Rei smiled.

"Long, long. With buck teeth." Konan nodded.

"Eh? That's wrong... that was the bunny we saw in the zoo, Konan, wasn't it?" Rei looked at Konan.

"Hmm? We are talking about that, are we not?" Konan put her finger on her chin in mock-confusion.

"I give up. Seriously. I fucking give up." The Mizukage helplessly leaned into his chair and took his smoking pipe out. "Now... what do you two geniuses recommend I should report to the very concerned and utterly pissed off Daimyo, hm?"

Only silence greeted him.

"Nothing, hm? What about you, the four already-blue-from-choking ANBU on the ceiling." He looked up, just in time to see three of his ANBU fall onto the ground and start rolling in laughter. The fourth was still desperately sticking to the ceiling with his chakra, also rolling in laughter.

The Mizukage looked at casually smiling Rei and Konan with a fed-up deadpan look.

"Well... I would personally say that the assailant had a mask." Rei's face turned to seriousness and Mizukage face-faulted onto his desk.

"Hmm... I see. Continue." The Mizukage waved his arm around uncaringly.

Fuck this shit, I should start looking for a successor. I am not paid enough for this... The Mizukage frowned as he straightened up and started chewing on his pipe.

Maybe he could use his bullshit affinity? He was a ninja, after all. Making up stories was common in his line of work! And the current Daimyo wasn't the smartest fish in the pond too. Hmm, that could work...

"Just give me something GOOD. I am really not interested in being blamed and getting our funding cut, alright?" He pleaded.

Rei nodded and gave a sweet wide Cheshire grin.

Uh-oh, this will be utter bullshit the size of Konoha's Hokage Monument, alright... Mizukage internally thought as he saw Rei's wide smile.

Ah, here we go. Rei's going to get nasty... Konan mentally deadpanned.

"Well. As I said, the assailant had an orange swirl mask with only one eye. He was quite a cheerful dude too! Called himself Tobi and whatnot. He liked to say that he was a good boy, alright! Right nutter, I say!" Rei laughed. "He wore a black coat with red clouds and was singing about Dawn or whatever! He wanted to put his eyes on the moon too so he fired himself there with jutsu... hence the sky-reaching tornado! Sigh. Some of us just do believe they can fly." Rei sadly shook his head.

Both Konan and Mizukage stared at Rei with an open mouth as Mizukage's pipe fell onto the floor.

"That's..." Konan started but then her eyes looked at the shocked Mizukage. "...the truth." She nodded stoically, her expression completely blank even though her body was slightly shaking.

"You know what?" The Mizukage drawled lazily. "Why not? Sure. I will report exactly that." He shrugged, not giving a damn anymore.

"You may go... I won't say job-well done though."

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Read this if you find CH39 disappointing.

I read a few comments (And a one-star review of a dude who even at this point thinks Rei and Konan are Konoha shinobi... damn, that floored me, to be honest) and I found out I might have messed up in the ch39 and my writing might have been easily misunderstood.

Now... for a clarification. Rei did NOT destroy The Capital nor did he kill anyone else other than the young master and his goons. Sure, he caused damage but didn't kill.

He also did NOT use the jutsu because he meant it. He wanted to deal with it peacefully and only due to the trash coming out of the Young Master's mouth, he flipped and subconsciously used his strongest 'vermin-wiping' Jutsu. The entire build-up of his 'illogical' fear of Young Masters was leading to this scene where he forgot all reason for a second.

That scene might have been a bit forced but it is IMPORTANT. I am giving you small hints into Rei's uniqueness right there.