Roh594
While this is around the edge, It's good. I think your next fanfic (if you wan to do) will be better. This is my opinion, 1. mixed pov, why some can handle. Some other couldn't. 2. lacked of storyline. I understand that this is fulfilling fanfic, but sometimes I think the story moved fast. 3. grammar is good already. Ngl, it's improving since first chapter. 4. lack details. ie. expression, body language, etc. 5. paragraph form. This is subjective but it will be neat when dialogue out from paragraph so the explanation will the only thing in paragraph. While there are bad ones. I can say your love to make fanfic and care is genuine. I hope you can continue make good fanfic. I enjoy the interaction with Rosalie and Matt and their cute children.