Comments of chapter undefined of Reid Flannel- Rise of the Redhunter

I haven't really read your book just kind of skimmed through it, but I do have a little bit of advice. Firstly I don't really like how you started the book because I feel like their wasn't really an introduction. Secondly I feel like you use a lot of dialogue (isn't really bad though, could help us learn about the character). Thirdly I feel like you should make a fanfic about a popular thing (doesn't have to be popular on this website, for example HxH fanfics) that you like and if the fanfic is good enough you will probably get a ton of fans (Like I have a Naruto fanfic with 46 chapters and 2 million likes and it isn't even that good). Once your fanfic is really popular you can drop that and then post a final chapter about how you are still doing this book. Also if you take my advice you should probably unpublish this story and then republish it after you drop the fanfic, because if you have 23 chapters come out really quickly lots of people will probably read the book.