Tweek Sauce

Even though they had superior numbers, the Darchangels looked nervous as Briggo, Animak, and Nuxanor approached them. They rushed into fighting formations, and their auras began to glow with various hues of the color purple. Then the Kinks appeared.

Most of the Darchangels were Kink users, and so their numbers nearly doubled as their Kinks manifested one by one. But this didn't scare the three founders of Twigoslavia. They walked on without flinching, their Kinks by their side. Judging by the size and intensity of their auras, it was clear that the Darchangels were still outclassed.

Suddenly, Briggo, Animak, and Nuxanor stopped in unison. But as soon as they stopped moving, their Kinks sprang into action. Lelle Flexine jumped into the air, and in the very next moment Chad Lass grabbed Flexine by the ankles. Chad Lass started spinning in place, swinging Flexine round and round by her legs. As the spinning picked up speed, Chad Lass released her grip on Flexine, and Nuxanor's Kink flew at the Darchangels.

While still in midair, Flexine spun like a ballerina, except much faster. She spun so fast that her entire body became a blur, and her high-heeled boots now looked like the tip of a drill. Before the Darchangels had time to react, Flexine flew into them heels-first.

There was a loud crack and a flash of white light, and then roughly half of the Darchangels were hurled in all directions like bowling pins. And it wasn't over yet. Slavic Queen grabbed Chad Lass by the waist and took to the air with Chad Lass in tow. She climbed quickly, and then dove downward rapidly. As she descended, Slavic Queen released Chad Lass, and Briggo's Kink─her fists extended outwards─fell upon the rest of the Darchangels like a precision-guided missile.

The Darchangels who were still standing tried to dodge, but it was too late. Another loud crack, a flash of lightning, and then more bodies flew through the air.

When the dust settled, only one Darchangel and his Kink were left standing. But not for long. Slavic Queen swooped down from the air and clotheslined both the Kink and its user with her metallic claws.

"You've still got that teamwork," Recon muttered. His face was scrunched up and he was rubbing his furrowed brow with the palm of his hand. "YOU IDIOTS!" he screeched at his men, who were trying to crawl away from the carnage as the three victorious Kinks stood over them. "Take another dose of tweek sauce… RIGHT NOW!"

All of the Darchangels acknowledged the order and then they produced a small vial filled with dark liquid from somewhere on their person. They opened the vial and chugged down the liquid as quickly as possible.

Instantly, the Darchangels began to cry out and writhe in pain as their bodies started to morph. Their eyes turned red, their teeth and nails grew longer, and black horns emerged from their heads. As for their Kinks, they didn't change physically, but their auras suddenly exploded with power and intensity.

Briggo, Animak, and Nuxanor exchanged meaningful glances.

"HUA-HUA-HUA-HUA-HUA!" Recon exclaimed. "You can tell, can't you? You can tell how much stronger they've become!"

"What did you do?" Briggo asked.

"You just witnessed the effects of tweek sauce, my own special invention! When I became the Demon Lord, my body gained incredible new properties. Not only do I possess superhuman powers, but I can use my bodily fluids to enhance the strength of my Darchangels. The effects are temporary, but a few minutes is all they will need. HUA-HUA-HUA-HUA-HUA!"

"Gross," Animak spat. "They just drank your bodily fluids?"

"I bet it was semen," Nuxanor said.

"WHAT?! No! It was my blood, of course. Tweek sauce is made with demon blood."

"Then why didn't you just say 'blood'?" Animak asked. "You said bodily fluids."

"Because it was semen," Nuxanor added.

"Eww," Truck-chan whispered in my ear. "Birito-kun, why was the semen black?"

"IT WASN'T SEMEN!" Recon barked. "That's it, no more games. Darchangels, formations!"

The Darchangels moved quickly. They divided themselves into three groups, with each group standing directly across from one of the three founders of Twigoslavia.

Recon smiled. "You see, my former comrades, while the three of you were busy fighting over your small pathetic kingdoms and playing out childish pirate fantasies, I've been building the world's strongest army! And since I always knew that the three of you would one day try to get in my way, I devised the perfect strategy to defeat you. Behold, fools! The Kink and magic users that you see standing before you are ideally suited to counter your abilities and bring you to your knees."

"Wow, cool story, Recon," Nuxanor said. "Now watch us dismantle these semen-drinking clowns."

"IT WASN'T SEMEN!!" Recon screeched. "Wait, wait, calm down…," Recon mumbled to himself. "Don't let that bastard get to you, that's exactly what he wants." He took a deep breath. "All right, Nuxanor, you think you're so strong, right? Well, let me introduce you to your reapers!"

Recon pointed to the group of Darchangels that stood directly across from Nuxanor.

"Meet Master Gregor Bates, a martial arts expert whose Kink is perfectly suited to deal with Lelle Flexine's exceptional agility."

The man Recon was referring to nodded. He was tall and dark-skinned, and he wore a black skin-tight leotard and long cape. His Kink was a green woman whose body appeared to be made of slime.

"AHAHAHAHAHA!!" Nuxanor roared with laughter. "No way… no… AHAHAHAHA!"

"WHAT?!" Recon demanded.

"You're telling me this guy's name is MASTER BATES?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Recon frowned. "He's a martial arts expert. Master is his title, and Bates just happens to be his surname."

Nuxanor continued to laugh, and even Animak and Briggo were chuckling.

Recon tried to ignore them. "Next to Gregor is Lord Lee Kiaynas, a noble from a faraway kingdom who went rogue and joined forces with the Demon Lord."

This man wore orange coveralls that made him look like an escaped convict, and his Kink was a woman in a long dress. The dress looked like it was made of a dark sludge instead of regular fabric.

"No…" Nuxanor said, still laughing. "No more, please…"

"WHAT NOW?!"

"Leaky… he really said leaky anu… AHAHAHAHAHA!!"

"Finally, the third piece of this deadly puzzle is the incredible dark magic user, Major Eve Rection!" Eve was a woman in a tight black bodysuit and chain-link stockings. She had a black leather blindfold around her eyes.

Nuxanor fell to the ground as his laughter became even louder. "NO… NO MORE!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

Briggo and Animak were also laughing out loud.

"I get it now," Nuxanor said, trying to catch his breath. "He… he wants us to laugh ourselves to death. It's the only reasonable explanation!"

Recon took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "Now as for you Briggo, your Kink is both strong and fast. But I've got just the team to take you down. We've got General Anne Esthesia, another dark magic user, and Commander Michael Hunt, the world's greatest big game hunter."

Anne Esthesia looked like a female Edward Scizzorhands, with unkept hair and dark makeup. Commander Hunt wore a snakeskin suit and tie, and his Kink was a woman with the body of a snake.

"Finally," Recon continued, "we have Captain Jag Offerman, the world's greatest sailor, and his rubber-based Kink is sure to neutralize any of your Kink's electric attacks." Jag Offerman was dressed like a sailor, complete with a sailor's cap, but his clothes were too small for his size, and his entire abdomen was exposed. His Kink was a short-haired woman whose movements were extremely wobbly, as if her entire body was made of rubber.

"Hey, Recon," Nuxanor chuckled. "What's another way to say 'sailor'?"

"SHUT UP!"

"You wanna hurry this up, Recon?!" Animak exclaimed. "Slavic Queen is itching for a fight."

"Ah, yes, Animak. Slavic Queen is also strong, but her real advantage is the ability to fly. Thankfully, I've got the perfect solution to that little problem. You're already familiar with Jordanio and his portal magic, but we've also got the most hard-boiled man in the known realms, the stone-cold killer Richard Hedd!"

Richard Hedd was dressed like some sort of construction worker, and his outfit included a hardhat and heavy-duty work boots. His Kink looked like a walking stone statue, and every time she flexed her muscles, jagged rocks emerged from her skin and covered her entire body.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Nuxanor was laughing again. "Hey Recon, you said this guy is hard, right?"

Recon nodded. "Yes, he is extremely tough, and so is his Kink."

"Okay, so he's very hard. But tell me this! Since his name is Richard, do his friends call him Dick?! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Recon was seething with rage. His patience had run out. "And the last guy's name is Steve, okay? Now, my Darchangels, no more talk. KILL THEM ALL!!"

Steve was huge muscular man with a ball gag in his mouth. He was shirtless and hairy with leather overalls, and his Kink was some sort of harpy. Steve nodded when he heard the Demon Lord's orders, and so did the other Darchangels. Their purple auras flashed so brightly that they nearly blinded us.

The Darchangels rushed at Briggo, Animak, and Nuxanor with murderous rage in their glowing red eyes. But the three founders of Twigoslavia didn't even flinch. In fact, as the army of demonic warriors descended upon them, Briggo, Nuxanor, and Animak appeared to be smiling.