2/2

"Pretty much, I'm not going to tell you because it would ruin the effect," Shikamaru said. Ron pouted but didn't say anything.

"Shikamaru, can't you get rid of these?" Hermione asked desperately, waving her now clawed hands.

"Sorry. It's permanent for another few days or so," he answered, not looking sorry at all.

"Permanent?" she squeaked. "How am I supposed to hold anything? How am I supposed to write, or hold my books without poking a hole through them?"

"Cats have retractable claws, don't they?" Harry asked from across the table. Hermione went pink.

"I haven't figured out how to control them yet," she mumbled.

"Don't you just...I dunno, pull, or something?" Ron asked. Shikamaru sighed and went back to eating. He was absolutely not getting in the middle of that impending mess.

"'Pull'," Hermione repeated blankly. "That's your advice?"

It was Ron's turn to change colors. "I was just trying to help," he said defensively. "How the ruddy hell should I know? I only have pads. See?" He held up his hands for inspection. Hermione leaned over to do exactly that, and Harry and Shikamaru exchanged knowing glances.

"Fifth year, he asks first, five galleons," Harry said, much to the confusion of the others. Shikamaru made his usual half grin.

"Without complications? Where's the fun in that?" he drawled. "Sixth year, they have several whole dancing-around-the-issue situations. He finally grows a pair and just asks her out, oh, and they probably have a few jealousy spats. Five galleons it is." (4) He and Harry shook hands.

"What are you two talking about?" Ron asked suspiciously. Harry gave a look of innocence that absolutely no one believed, and Shikamaru let his grin stretch.

"Nothing," they said together. Hermione rolled her cat-pupil-ed eyes.

"You two are acting more suspicious than the Weasley twins right now, and that is saying something," she said disapprovingly.

"Us? Like them?" Harry asked in disbelief. Shikamaru cocked an eyebrow at her.

"You give them too much credit," he said, so dryly that at first no one registered his statement. Then Ron snorted, Harry grinned, and Hermione shook her head.

"Incorrigible," she said fondly.

"I do not think that word means what you think it means," Shikamaru replied, completely straight-faced. Hermione's face lit up.

"I love that movie!" she exclaimed.

"Isn't it really old?" Hardy asked curiously.

"What's a movie, and what are you talking about?" Ron butted in. The other three exchanged looks.

"I'd forgotten about the lack of anything muggle with pureblood wizards," Shikamaru commented.

"A movie is like a bunch of pictures together with sound and color," Hermione explained. "Usually, people play different roles; they're called 'actors'."

"And we're talking about the Princess Bride," Harry said. "Even I know that, and I almost never watch TV."

"Anyway, it's a quote from there," Hermione continued. Ron hmmed and said no more.

"So, when do these wear off?" Harry questioned, trying to untangle his newly added whiskers from his glasses. His hair hadn't been changed into a mane, but it had gone from black to a dark red.

"A few days," Shikamaru answered vaguely, slapping Ron's hands away from his velvety ears.

"You were serious about that?" Neville asked, looking crestfallen from his position beside Hermione. His changes were less visible as they included a sandpaper textured tongue and enhanced hearing.

"Unfortunately, dear Neville, our tailed friend is right," Fred commented from behind Shikamaru. The latter twitched his ears and tail, the only sign of his aggravation. He hadn't heard them. That was a problem.

"So it was you two!" Seamus said dramatically, pointing a hand covered in soft fur. Everyone within earshot gave him a look.

"Was there ever any question?" someone asked sarcastically. Seamus went a little pink.

"Well, Shikamaru's been looking shifty-eyed for a couple of days," he said defensively. Shikamaru's eye twitched. "See?" Seamus asked dramatically.

"You're an idiot," Dean sighed. He shot Shikamaru a sympathetic look, which was ignored as the receiver looked about two seconds away from bashing his head into the table to save himself the trouble of dealing with the situation any more.

"Now, I say that Operation Fuzzy Bi-" Fred started proudly, but Shikamaru's head whipped around so quickly, and his look was so threatening, that the words died in his throat.

"Keep talking and I will bite you with these new teeth of mine," Shikamaru warned dangerously. Indeed, there were sharp canines that glimmered whenever he opened his mouth. Fred's face stretched into an evil grin.

"Kinky," he snarked. Half of the table - the older half it must be said - spewed food everywhere, clearly imagining something, and the other half just looked confused. Shikamaru positively growled and stood up.

"You have exactly to the count of ten before my foot is five feet up your ass," he said menacingly. Fred waggled his eyebrow, and now even his twin was starting to look a little unsure at his actions. One of them would live, at least.

"Ooh, Shikamaru," Fred cooed, paying no attention to the truly dangerous twitch that the younger boy was developing. "I didn't know you swung that way-hurk!"

"Ten," Shikamaru snapped, and then he lunged, just barely missing Fred, who had been yanked back by the collar by his brother. George, sensibly, looked rather concerned for his sibling's safety. They bolted, laughing madly and scolding respectively, with a rather pissed off young boy nipping at their heels. Almost literally.

"I told you we shouldn't have spiked his juice with that hormone stuff!" George yelped, dodging a spell. Shikamaru had pulled out his wand and was now casting viciously after the pair of them.

"How was I supposed to know it would make him act like a girl who's PMSing and a pissed off lion at the same time?" Fred shot back. "It's still fun kind of though, you gotta admi-whoa!" He ducked just in time to dodge a spinning plate full of food that Shikamaru had apparently snatched off of one of the tables. The twins skidded around the corner of a table and went for another turn around the hall.

The teachers seemed to think that they deserved it, for even McGonagall was only half-heartedly calling for peace (which probably had something to do with her un-Vanishable whiskers and the amount of potential blackmail material everyone was gaining from this incident). Dumbledore just chuckled merrily, and Snape looked slightly less murderous now that Shikamaru was aiming some rather painful spells at the twins. The hormones seemed to be affecting his aim, however, for none of his spells hit. A pity. Seeing a Weasley twin get set on fire for a few seconds would have made Snape's day.

...

"I hate you all."

Fred and George exchanged looks.

"We said that we're sorry," George offered.

"Besides, the fact that you chased us around for over ten minutes while almost succeeding in hitting us with painful jinxes and thus making us the laughing stock of the entire castle makes up for it, doesn't it?" Fred tried reasonably. Shikamaru didn't answer for a moment.

"...the blackmail material I have on you might be worth it," he allowed, a mischievous glint entering his brown eyes. The twins spluttered and everyone else in the room - Hermione, Ron, Harry, and Neville - just shook their heads. "I have plenty on you, too," Shikamaru said to his friends. "You could have helped."

"Where's the fun in that?" Ron asked breezily. "It was pretty funny to see the twins running for their lives."

Fred strode up to his younger brother and put him in a headlock.

"Ronnie-kins is getting brave," he said, mercilessly allowing his twin to tickle their brother. Shikamaru watched with something like fondness in his eyes.

On the inside though, he was worried. He knew the potion they had administered to him shouldn't have made him lose control like that. It was supposed to just make him feel some annoying urges, but it shouldn't have made him get so annoyed. As a ninja, he was supposed to constantly be in control of his own body and actions since there was a chance of people getting hurt if he wasn't. The incident that had occurred a few hours ago - thankfully it had mostly worn off after about thirty minutes - unsettled him. He had played it off by pretending to finally let the twins go, but in reality, it had taken him that long to calm down enough to think the situation over.

He resolved to look into it more over the holidays. For now, he could only think that they'd either messed up the potion, or that his chakra had something to do with it. Considering how meticulous the twins were with their pranks, he was leaning more towards the latter conclusion. He noticed Harry looking at the scene of Ron and his brothers with something close to longing, so he shunted aside his worries for later and turned to the now red-headed boy.

"What do you do for Christmas?" Hermione asked quietly, clearly thinking along the same lines as him. He was increasingly thankful for the thing people called 'Woman's Intuition'.

"Usually make the food and then stay in the cupboard while the Dursleys have family over," Harry answered with a shrug. Shikamaru's mouth twisted in displeasure, and Hermione looked shocked.

"Don't you get presents?" she asked. Harry smiled a little sadly.

"I gave up on that when I was five. I learned not to expect any," he answered. Shikamaru breathed. Slowly to avoid punching something. Preferably Harry's thrice damned relatives. Hermione looked sad, and then determined.

"Then we'll have to fix that this year," she said firmly. "Expect presents from now on." Harry looked so shocked that she stood up and left the room, swiping her hands across her eyes. Shikamaru just watched Harry carefully.

At least they hadn't asked about his Christmases. That would have been an interesting can of worms to open.

"Why was she so upset?" Harry asked in confusion. Shikamaru sighed.

"I'm not the best person to ask about Christmas traditions, but I'm fairly certain that everyone is supposed to get a present or two. And they're supposed to be able to eat the Christmas feast and enjoy the festivities with whomever they're with," he said slowly. Harry frowned.

"Didn't you know, Harry?" Ron asked. He and the twins had started listening without the others noticing. Harry shook his head.

"They always said that I wouldn't get any because 'Santa doesn't like freaks'," he said, doing air quotations. Shikamaru leaned back and steepled his fingers, running through a basic breathing exercise. He couldn't lose it again so soon after that morning.

"Freak? Are they talking about your magic?" Fred asked indignantly.

"Yeah. I had been told that my parents were killed while drunk driving and that wasn't cool, but now I think my aunt was bitter about it or something," Harry told them.

"And that's reason to keep a kid from Christmas?" George scoffed. Harry squirmed slightly in his seat.

"Yeah, but this isn't any worse than not being told my name until age six..." he trailed off at the looks they were giving him. "What?"

"What do you mean by that? You didn't know your own name?" Ron asked, astonished. Shikamaru absently thought that it was a good thing that Hermione was no longer in the room; she probably would have been bawling by now.

"No?" Harry tried. "They just called me 'boy' or 'freak'." That was really the last straw for Shikamaru.

He swore quietly and stood, startling the others in the room for his uncharacteristic break in nonchalance, and he turned around and - with a chakra enhanced hand - punched a hole through one of the stone walls of the common room. He ignored the lance of pain that shot through his hand as images of a child Harry filled with confusion at being left out intermixed with a young and sad Naruto being called 'monster' and 'demon' filled his mind, making him let loose a litany of Japanese and English profanities. His expletives got more and more extensive as his anger grew, some directed at himself, others at the Dursleys, and a good many just at the world in general.

He ignored his silent-from-surprise friends and pulled his fist out. He'd repair the hole later. For now...he needed to do something. Preferably something messy, bloody, and violent. Since fighting other students was probably forbidden, and no one his age would last against him anyways, it was time to go to the Forbidden Forest. Maybe he could kill a few of those giant spiders that were rumored to be there.

With that, he turned on his heel and strode out of the Common Room. Anyone he met on his way outside took one look and wisely stayed out of the way, either because of his foreboding, flat expression, dangerous aura, purposeful walk, or his still bleeding fist - even the few Slytherins that spotted him. They had enough self preservation to know when to pick a fight, and they correctly guessed that this wasn't one of those times. He absently wondered if it was a good thing that he was so intimidating even with a fluffy tail and (adorable) ears.

Shikamaru jerkily snapped off a Disillusionment charm to keep Filch from interfering with his trip outside (he didn't know what he'd do if the man tried to stop him, but it probably wouldn't be very pretty, and damn it, that potion apparently wasn't entirely out of his system yet) and felt a measure of gratitude that it was Sunday.

Going to classes in this state spelled disaster.

...

Shikamaru felt marginally better and much calmer three hours later, having vented on a good number of dangerous animals. He had taken the time to clean off his tantō and kunai in the lake, absently noting that there were, in fact, merpeople in the lake. How about that.

They had waved goodbye when he left. Friendly.

He walked into the Common Room and was met with more than a few stares. He raised a questioning eyebrow and was directed to the hole in the wall. Oh, right. That.

"Shikamaru! You're back," Hermione said, scrambling out of her chair. She walked up to him and then noticed all of the stares. "What? Haven't you ever seen a hole in the wall before?" she snapped. She didn't wait for an answer and grabbed Shikamaru's arm, dragging him across the Common Room to a corner.

"Are you okay?" she demanded quietly as soon as they had some semblance of privacy. He quirked an eyebrow at her but nodded.

"Guess you heard about that," he said, gesturing to the hole. She let out something of a hysterical laugh.

"It would have been difficult not to," she agreed. "People aren't exactly sure that it was you, and the witnesses certainly aren't saying anything, but going off the rather foul mood you were in when you left…"

He sighed. "I'll fix it after dinner," he said.

"I don't care about that," she said earnestly. "Are you okay?"

He gave her a ghost of a grin. "Yeah. I just needed to blow off some steam after hearing about Harry. I'm better now."

"If that's true, why is your hand wrapped up in bandages?" she asked accusingly. "You hurt yourself by punching that wall, didn't you?"

Shikamaru blinked at her in surprise. Honestly, the pain in his hand had been reduced to a full throb, and he hadn't thought about it much except to make sure not to jostle it while venting. He had done his little...escapade with his left hand only. It had left him severely handicapped, but since he was pretty sure he had a few broken bones, it had been better to be safe than sorry. Hermione rolled her eyes at his silence.

"Boys," she said in exasperation. She took his uninjured wrist and started for the door out. "C'mon; since you clearly can't take care of yourself, I'll have to help you. To the hospital wing."

She dragged him out of the Common Room, down a few flights of stairs, and into the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey seemed surprised to see them, since neither of them had been there before. She shook herself out of it as soon a Shikamaru unwrapped his bandages.

"Goodness, what did you do to your hand?" she asked blankly.

"Put it through a wall," he admitted. She looked a tad skeptical, but Hermione nodded and shot Shikamaru a look. A few wand taps later and his hand was as good as new.

"Now, I suggest that you refrain from striking anything like a stone wall the next time you feel like hitting something," the nurse admonished sternly. "Try breathing next time; it works wonders."

"Yes, Ma'am," Shikamaru said, not saying that he'd tried breathing but it hadn't been good enough. No need to let her onto his somewhat violent - for this world - stress-relieving tendencies, no need at all.

He and Hermione left the hospital wing and promptly ran into Harry and Ron.

"Hey," the latter said. "We heard you went to the hospital wing. What's up?"

"Shikamaru here decided to punch a hole in the wall - you were there - and then he didn't go to get his hand inspected until it had enough time to swell and turn purple," Hermione huffed.

"It wasn't that bad. I would have gotten it checked out eventually; I know I'm no medic," Shikamaru told her. It would have been extremely stupid to remain handicapped like that for longer than necessary.

"You had two broken fingers, Shikamaru. That's not a good thing," Hermione reminded him. The former shrugged. That was fair. "What were you doing anyway?" she asked.

"Exploring," he answered vaguely.

"But where?" she pressed.

"The Forbidden Forest," he said, not especially looking forward to the impending reaction. She gasped, and Ron and Harry started.

"What?" she squeaked. "That place is dangerous! Why- for four hours?"

"I needed to let off some steam, so I did," he said simply. "And...the hormone potion Fred and George spiked my drink with hadn't completely worn off yet."

Ron scowled. "Bloody gits," he said darkly. Shikamaru raised a placating hand.

"I don't think they meant for it to affect me like it did," he said thoughtfully. "It was probably a fluke. The potion isn't supposed to actually influence me so strongly; it's just supposed to...nudge me, or something."

"So you punching through a wall and swearing enough to make a sailor blush like a schoolgirl was because of the potion?" Harry asked, finally speaking.

"Partly," Shikamaru admitted. "Some of it was genuine anger, though. The potion won't do much without somewhere to start." It was supposed to just nudge emotions, but it ended up amplifying them a lot instead. He'd note it for later - might come in handy some day, who knew?

"So, would you have punched through a wall without that potion?" Ron asked curiously.

"No," Shikamaru answered blandly. Well, he would have punched it, but without chakra. It had been irresponsible to waste chakra like that and show that he could, in fact, put his hand through a stone wall.

"Well, while you were having your little pique, we were doing research," Hermione sniffed. Shikamaru threw her a curious glance.

"Did you find anything?" he asked.

"There's the question of the bloody century," Ron muttered. "Crazy, obsessed..." Hermione shot Ron a nasty look and turned to Shikamaru.

"No, we didn't," she said huffily, "but we did cross off another shelf of the library."

"Going by shelves now?" Shikamaru teased. "Thorough."

"Of course! He has to turn up somewhere," she said. "There's no way he just can't exist. We'll find him."

"By second year, maybe," Ron commented grumpily. She rounded on him with an irritated look on her face.

"What's wrong with you?" she demanded. He looked at her with wide eyes. "Don't you care?"

"Of course I care!" he snapped irritably. "But it seems pretty pointless to go looking for this guy in the library anymore. If he hasn't been in the last five-hundred books, what's to say he'll be in the next few hundred?"

"Nothing, but we shouldn't just give up," she said hotly. Ron made a show of looking around.

"Did anyone say that?" he asked in exasperation. "I just meant that maybe we could be exploring other options, instead of having all four of us looking for one person. It's called 'Divide and Conquer'!"

"Ridiculous," she said stubbornly. "It would be much easier if we just all tried to look in the same spot for a larger and faster coverage of the area."

Shikamaru sighed and shared a commiserating look with Harry.

"How long until they stop?" the latter asked. "I would think everyone on the floor can hear them."

Shikamaru narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. Harry had a good point: for not wanting someone to overhear their plans, yelling about it was pretty idiotic. But, as he turned to tell them to pipe down, Ron yelled at the top of his lungs, "Books aren't the only places to find BLOODY NICOLAS FLAMEL!"

And then time stopped, because the impossible (but actually quite plausible, in hindsight) had happened. Someone had heard them.

Severus Snape glowered down at Ron from where he had been standing - unnoticed - for the past few seconds, long enough to hear exactly what had been said.

...

They were... probably dead. Shikamaru was going to die at a young age even by shinobi standards, and it was all because some people couldn't wait until they were in relative safety before arguing about their top-secret work in their loudest possible voices. Snape had given them all a long, piercing look and had curtly ordered them to his office. So there they all were, waiting as shut the door behind them. It sounded like a death sentence. On the way there, Shikamaru had cut off any forms of talk, whether it was an apology from Ron, or a squeak from Hermione. They hardly needed anything even more incriminating to be said. As it was, they were on thin ice already, but there was the smallest chance...

As soon as he had shut the door, Snape commanded them to sit down. He strode to his desk, footsteps echoing around the room.

"Now, why would a group of first years be shouting at the top of their lungs about Nicolas Flamel?" he asked coolly.

Charms (Spells):

Vanishing Spell (Evanesco): Transfiguration spell to vanish inanimate and animate objects.

Disillusionment Charm (Unknown incantation): Spell to something act like a chameleon, taking the color and texture of what is behind and around it.

(1): Sorry, couldn't actually come up with dialogue for this. Besides, it's the end result that matters anyway.

(2): So, Lee Jordan is either a half-blood or a pure-blood. I'm going with half.

(3): Took this from a different story that I can't remember the name of. But, it isn't mine.

(4): No, Shikamaru can't predict the future, but he has had friends in relationships before, so this is pure guesswork based off of experience and knowledge of Hermione and Ron's characters. (And yes, he and Harry are predicting when the former two will get together.)

Guest Reviews (Bottom to Top):

Wanderer13: Thanks a bunch! I'm glad you like it. I am going to have Neville be a more integral part of the story this time around!

NatNicole: Thanks a lot! And as for the abuse part, being neglected and hurt verbally is, well, neglect and verbal abuse respectively. What the Dursleys do to Harry transcends regular parental frustrations with their children; I am certain that not every parent/guardian treats their children/wards like they treat him. I hope that answers your question! Thanks for the review! Sorry for the late response.

Guest: You know, I haven't actually read Shikamaru Hiden. I'm glad I'm portraying him accurately, as far as that goes. And yes, sadly Temari isn't here to help him out, but he does have the Golden Trio and the twins, so that's something. I guess this can be seen as a mission, but Shikamaru cares about his friends beyond them being clients to protect, so to speak. Harry gets in a lot of trouble, and Shikamaru wants to keep him safe as a friend. It wasn't in the mission from the one who sent him here to protect Harry, but he's doing it anyway. Anyway, thanks for reviewing! Sorry to be so late!

A/N: I live, and that's about all I can say about it. This has been sitting in my computer for a while, untouched, and I only recently re-discovered my enjoyment for writing this story. So. Yanno. Enjoy?

RECOMMENDATIONS: (Tell me if you like them and if you have any of your own.)

A Mary Sue Alphabet - Irony-chan: I recently discovered this, and it's pretty much all in the title. Nearly every cliché Mary Sue out there included. Hilarious and brilliant, poetry and rated T. Check it out; it's pretty popular for good reason.

A Hero - Celebony: Dudley is good! But, the Dursleys are abusive jackasses, so yeah. If you don't like that...and Dudley isn't OOC, surprisingly. It is amazingly in character and realistic for the situation and AUishness. Rated T for violence and language, and the hurts are real, people.

Campfire - ramasterharper: Funny oneshot about Team 8 in their younger years, before the timeskip. It's very amusing, because Hinata is the only thing that keeps Shino from murdering Kiba on a daily basis. Rated K+ for humor and general fluff.

Of Broken Arms and Super Ninja - Ranowa Hikura: Fluffy oneshot with a chibi Kakashi, a teenaged Minato, and Jiraiya. Babysitting - what could go wrong? (Hint, look at the title). Rated K for cuteness and cluelessness on both of the older men's parts. Tsunade's there too, and there is not enough headache medicine in the world.

Changes to Chapter 6 (Sorry if I miss some details, but I'm focusing on the larger things for those of you who care):

Shikamaru is hopefully less OOC during this entire chapter.

Shikamaru was not there when Harry told Ron about the break-in at Gringotts. Hermione knows about Fluffy.

Shikamaru is not taking muggle coursework as well.

Shikamaru does not meditate to sort himself out; he watches clouds.

More snark and light-hearted sarcasm.