A Cruel Wonderful World

Did you ever felt to be alive? Reinvigorated to a thing that you like. Like, you know, the thing that you always dream. The things that you always do but others despite it.

Welp, that's me...

I live to fight. To felt alive, to see what is my purpose is. And I could always pay my own life just to felt that thing, of what is my existense really in this world.

I don't care about my own life, if it died or not. I've had nothing to care about so even though I died, I have no things to worry about.

That is my life.

Being an orphan child was a piece of cake for me. I steal, I live. I caught red-handed, my left-foot would step in life and death territory. That was a simply form of what is an orphan would do.

And it was so easy.

At the age of 7, I'd been kicked out on the orphanage shelter which was pretty normal around.

With my early experience of stealing, I'd survive somehow, with a malnourished body of course. But who cares? At least I've survived, right?

As my journey continued, one day, I stumbled upon a dojo, where practitioners of martial art study the way of the fist. Foot? Knee? Head? Let's just say, where you study of how to strengthen your body to be beaten.

In my first encounter on martial, I never felt anything to be special about it. Or pulse in my heart to be somewhat interested in it.

So I just sneaked around the compound and steal a bread inside the kitchen wardrobe chamber. It is now a chamber actually. It is just a small compartment and has a signboard. It's clearly a child who wrote it.

With ease, no one, or somehow see or felt my presence while I devour the pile of bread, and stuffed a bag of bread in my clothes and hastily escape the compound. It was mission success!

A one week supply of food, which took me to finish in just 3 days. So I'd prepare to steal again to the compound, and again, it was a success.

After that event, I started hearing some news, or rather an opportunity for me to earn something.

A Grand Tournament Event would be held in the city! And age under 10 was the right age to be qualified.

So I started practicing which I always see in the dojo when I would steal. Which was punching in the air repeatedly. Or sometimes in the wooden planks, dead tree or human flesh.

I am a goody-two-shoes if you wouldn't ask just you know.

So I start hitting flesh, the juicy one.

Because I thought that if you start hitting human, you would be a professional right away, as I see inside the dojo, only the professional have the right to hit the other.

Luckily, my practice regimen work perfectly. I was beaten to death like the practitioners inside the dojo, which a sign that I was truly now learning to be a martial artist.

And that put a smile on my face.

So as soon I recover, I would punch straight away the student that stepped out inside the dojo, again and again.

Until the tournament came, and I was ready.

First, before I can register, the receptionist asked me what is my name, where I live and who's my parent is. And lastly, what is my martial art technique.

I started thinking about what is my technique really is. I've wanted to put the technique of the dojo is, but I remember that I'd never heard or see what is it. And first of all, even I see it, I would never even read it, I was illiterate.

So I just said I study the way of "Master Martial Art". Which the others give me a look before continuing what they are doing.

The tournament started, and all the children were in the spatial chamber where they accommodate us before we send it to the tournament stage.

The children were nervous, frightened, and others started to doubt themselves if they are really ready to fight. Good thing is, the parent was there for them. And helped them relax and be strong about what would happen on the stage.

I don't what it feels like to have a parent to support you. Or someone would care for you. I only think that time was, weak would never survive. I don't need help to survive. I was already content with what I had.

Finally, my name has been called, and I stepped in the stage with eery silence when the announcer introduced me. Whisper would audible as they speak at the same time, it became an incoherent something that I could not understand, but who cares.

The fight started, and my opponent sprinted towards me with a smirk. And barrage of punches would come in every direction, and me, of course, defended myself.

But punches would escape my defense and would hit my stomach and ribs and chest. And suddenly, I thought that this is where I would attack, so I did.

With one swing of my hand, it hit him to the cheek, and plummeted him to the cold stone stage. The stage became silent, and something struck me again, this is where I would win.

So I hit him again and again to the ground with the swing of my arm towards his(jaw) cheek. The elder suddenly steps in to stop me which made me puzzled. He was still not saying he gives up, so the match was still on, right?

A lot of comments came at me, saying what have I had done, others were saying to kill me. But the man at the top of the stadium spoke that I was not wrong, which made the audience stop their unending remark to me.

My next match came, and again, I defeated it. So on and on, until the last round, I repeated what I was just doing at the start.

Just keep hitting your enemy and you will win. That was simple. Which made me bore.

Is this really a good sport?

Final came, and I was faced to an little girl, which wore a facade of unemotional looks and icy eyes.

The elder started the match and I came running towards her. And surprisingly, she sprinted towards me too.

Like last time, I swing my arm and expected to win again with ease. But she countered me by tapping my wrist upwards and kicked me at my feet and start hitting me.

I might at the disadvantage but I don't feel pain at all which I countered her by swinging by hand again towards her, she dodged jumping away.

For the first time, I see what is really a martial art would look like. She was fast and full of techniques, she was clearly a master for me.

But the only thing thathat which made me puzzle about. Why I can't feel her attack? Yeah they sting, but that was all clearly it, except when she hitted me in my vital spot.

And again, who cares right?

My face broke into a smile which I'd never notice. All I could thinks was I was facing a real battle, and I wanted to win.

This is not for the glory I felt. Not for the audience, and not for myself either.

For the first time in my life, I felt something. This is my purpose in life, I felt that this is my purpose to exist. To fight into a real battle. And the only thing to feel that was to fight a true master of martial arts.

I can clearly remember that day, until now, that was still pretty vivid.

I was chasing her, and she was hurting me despite the fact that she was at a disadvantage as she retreats several times.

Thud...! Thud...!

I groaned in displeasure hearing my creaking old windows hits the wall of my ramshackle house at the top of a snowy mountain.

After I'd become the most powerful martial artist in the world. I felt empty, I can't feel to be alive again as long as no one who could match my strength.

So I waited, in here, in this lonely desolated mountain waiting to this realm to give birth to a new child that would fulfillment my existence.

Unlucky me before that could happen—before I could even settle on the mountain. An unknown disease caught me, withering my life slowly.

So here I am, laying on my wooden bed, facing my ceiling with my already dead eyes, wondering what could be my life if I didn't take the path of martial art.

Could I be happy if I run a humble restaurant?

Teach my technique to young ones?

Or accepter her proposal to me to be her husband? (Little Girl)

With my age of 23, I already questioning what made my life to become miserable like an old man dying.

I can feel death, lurking beside my bed, even though I couldn't see it, I can felt it. I am going to die.

My eyes slowly without fighting as though it was been done by an invisible force closing it.

Everything was becoming dark. And for the first time in my life, I felt a slight fear as I can feel or imagine my foot backing away on it.

I chuckled inside, mocking my self-loathing to show in this time of event. Really a laughable thing to laugh at.

If there's a second life, as they say, even to become an animal, maybe I should try what I had missed in my life.

I close my eyes anticipating an unbelievable miracle to fulfill my wish to the heavens. Which for the first time in my life I did.