Night out

On that Saturday, Ichiru calls a sitter to take care of the girls and the twins, not wanting to waste any time or let me change my mind. It will be the first time I really been out of this house in months. The only other time, was when I got drunk and feeling sorry for myself. I think being stuck in this house is another thing making me feel the way I do. I need some distance, which Ichiru is trying to offer me at least for the night.

For some odd reason, I am looking forward to tonight, getting dressed up and out to dinner. Its been a while, it will be nice to say goodbye to the plain jeans or sweat pants at least for one evening. Ichiru planned it all so it's all a surprise. The only other time I have been out to dinner with him was when Zero was here. So its a bit weird in a way, we have ate lunch together at the office, in the past but not out, one on one. Nothing like this, I just need not to think of it that way, I need to just think of the positive.

I get dressed and wait for Ichiru at the front door, he isn't anything like Zero was when it came to getting dressed. I swear that man couldn't put a tie on right, if it killed him. He always had it pulled down halfway, he hated those things. Just thinking that brings a smile to my face. I just know that Ichiru will have everything he is wearing in place. He was funny that way, it was one of the differences I noticed in the two, from a long time ago.

As I stand there he comes down the stairs, looking dapper. His grey suit all in place with his white shirt and blue tie put on correctly, his hair perfect. I just look at him, seeing the man I am still in love with it. It was hard to see anything else, which made this even more uncomfortable in away. Sometimes I would drift off and forget he was Ichiru, I would let myself go and just pretend Zero was sitting in front of me still, the only thing was I couldn't touch him, not the way I really wanted to.

I try to get over my awe moment looking at his white hair and those damn lavender eyes that would get Zero out of so many things with me. I guess I was really smitten with him, he got awhile with everything and anything. Things no other would ever, and Ichiru hated it.

"Are you ok?" Ichiru asks, looking at me with wonder.

"Yes, you look very nice tonight," I say.

"Thank you so much, so do you. I love the white lace dress, its great seeing you look like this" Ichiru states.

"Yea out of sweats, and into something real for a change. " I laugh as we get into his car.

"I think we should do this more often, we both need to get out and get some rest from the twins. They are getting a bit older now, they can stay from time to time with a sitter." Ichiru comments.

"I also think we need a break from that house. Funny thing is I use to love it there. It brought me so much joy and happiness so many years, so many memories. They just seem to follow me around now, taking over my emotions." I answer.

"I know, I have a plan for that after also. For now, let's just enjoy the Italian restaurant." Ichiru states parking the car.

We both head into the restaurant and take our seats, ordering some red wine, and some appetizers. We sit there and talk about work, and old times, both able to share in the memories we have. We choose ones that make us laugh, to remember the people we loved in a happy time. Missing all three of them, when no one else even knows they existed.

When dinner is done, we get back into the car and head home, we listen to some music on the way, both liking the same choice in music, where Zero liked his own stuff. We both just laugh about it, bringing a smile to our faces.

When we get home, Ichiru parks in front of his home he shared with his parents.

"Let's go inside," Ichiru says.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"Yes, It's the second surprise. I know you need some space, so I figured maybe you can stay here for the night, getting the rest you really need. I notice you don't sleep well at night. Here it would just be you, you would get some quietness." Ichiru says.

"That would be nice," I answer.

"I know it's not much but I figured it would be at least a night away," Ichiru replies.

"I think it's perfect. Thank you so much. "I respond.

"No problem, I will leave you to get your rest. "Ichiru answers as he turns around to walk out the door.

"Ichiru!"I shout.

"Yes is something wrong?" He asks.

"Would you stay?" I reply.

"You want me to?" He asks.

"Yes, I would like that. You need a break as well, we can maybe watch a movie together?" I respond.

"That sounds great, I would love that. Of course, I will stay. Let's get out of these clothes and we can get comfy on the sofa to watch a movie." Ichiru comments.

"That sounds good but I don't have anything to change into?" I reply.

"My mother's things are still in her room, I am sure you can find something. I didn't touch anything, I really haven't had time, I spend more time at your place than I do here." Ichiru admits.

I just smile going upstairs, remembering all the times I was in this house. All the special occasions that took place here, and the first time I met these people. How we hated each other at the start and then loved each other like family.

I walk into Mrs. Kiryu's bedroom everything in place and not touched just like Ichiru stated. I got into the drawer on the left of the dresser and get a pair of pj's. The room still smells of her perfume, her presence we everywhere. I place the PJs on and head downstairs seeing Ichiru on the sofa with two bowls of ice cream. I have to admit he sure is cute, I was enjoying this night and being around him. It was like old times.

I take a seat next to him, him handing me the bowl of ice cream as he looks for something to watch on tv. We pick a movie and sit there, eating our ice cream while watching the tv. Things are quiet, and peaceful. We pick a comedy to keep things upbeat and fun, we cried enough, we don't need anything sappy.

As I sit there with Alexa, I just find myself smiling more and more. I have enjoyed this night more than anyone would ever imagine. I feel so at home with her, so at peace. Like this is where I should be, just I wonder if she feels the same? I have noticed her staring at me tonight, then I just wonder if its because I look like you. That helps me and hurts me at the same time. I do see she is lightened tonight, and she did ask me to stay when she didn't need to. I just don't want to get myself built up for a fall.

As the night progresses, we sit back on the sofa, her hand lands on my shoulder as I see her drift off to sleep. She has never done this before and I have to admit, I like it. I also see she is comfortable enough to finally get some rest. The rest she has needed for so long. Maybe this an really build into something. I just hope.

I reach over getting a soft blanket to put over her, I see her getting closer to me, snuggling up. I place my arm around her, pushing her closer to me, her head on my shoulder and her hand on my chest. How I have dreamed of this, how I use to watch this and wish it was me. Now it is, just I can't help but wonder, do you see me? for me? I guess no matter the answer to that question she is here with me, he isn't here to take over or ruin it. I do miss you, dear brother, at the same time, I don't want to give up what I am starting to have. Is this right to feel this way? To desire something that isn't yours? Then you did all your life, so you should understand. I shut the tv off, and close my eyes lifting my legs up on the coffee table to get comfortable. Enjoying the warmth of being close to the one I love, I am going to cherish this evening for a long time.