Actually, It's the Third Time

Rolling back and forth in bed, she couldn't fall asleep. Even though she had company already, her emotions were still riding on a looping rollercoaster.

"Can't fall asleep?" He crossed his legs and asked when he noticed her fast movements.

"Mm." She responded awkwardly.

"Since you can't sleep, do you want to talk instead? It will probably help you fall asleep faster."

"Mm... okay! What should we talk about?" She sat up rather excitedly.

"Hmm? Maybe things that are bothering you?" Although it wasn't his business and he shouldn't be nosy about it, he didn't want to see her suffer from a panic attack like earlier. He really wanted to find out what triggered her to breakdown like that.

"OH! How did you get my business cards?" She grinned teasingly at him.

"...Does that bother you that much..?" He tried to avoid answering this question since he wanted her to figure it out herself.

"Yes! It's been on my mind for the longest hours now. I'll burst from frustration if I don't get the answer." She hugged her knees and blinked at him with curious eyes.

"I'll give you a hint. Spicy Bowl." Refusing to give her the answer easily, he settled on giving her a huge hint.

"Spicy bowl? Pretty sure you wouldn't be working part time there. Then... Were you the guy who shared the table with me?" Her eyes brightened up instantly as she looked at him for confirmation. The way she patted her knees expressing her excitement was too cute to miss.

"Mhmm..Very well. I'm very glad you didn't confuse me with the waiter." Letting out a chuckle, he caught a glimpse of her softened smile.

"Then that means..it's not just twice." Though she mumbled those words, he still heard it.

"Not just twice?"

"Actually, it's the third time that you've seen me cry. How embarrassing. Even my closest friend didn't see me cry that many times." Pursing her lips and cupping her cheeks with her palms, she tilted her head to see his small smile.

"It's an honor to see you cry that many times then." Since he caught her crying that many times, she thought that maybe it wouldn't be too bad to talk about her relationship after all. Everything that happened had stacked up piles of discomfort in her heart that she broke down emotionally. She wanted to get better and improve her condition.

The only way for her to release such negative energy was through talking about it. She thought to herself, 'First by chance. Twice by coincidence. Third is meant to be. Maybe..Just maybe...'

"Are you feeling okay?" He noticed that she had stopped talking.

"Huh? No, I mean, Yeah. I'm alright. I was just thinking about something." She thought she could try opening up her thoughts, but at the same time it's kind of a private matter. Would it be too random to talk about it out of nowhere?

Suddenly, her phone screen lighted up again. She shifted uncomfortably away from it and covered it using her pillow.

"What's wrong?" Moving inches away from where she shove her phone, her hands began to move in a frantic movement as if she was trying to hide something.

"N..nothing." Even though her phone was under the pillow, the brightness of her screen flickered underneath it. When she saw him distracted by her phone, she started playing with the tips of her hair. With one finger, she twirled the tip of her hair repeatedly.

Noticing her tensed body, he became more certain that her anxiety had something to do with whoever was messaging her. He took an educated guess from what he observed from the window earlier and said, "If you have any trouble with anything, you could always talk to me about it. I promise I won't say anything to anyone unless I have your consent."

Inhaling a huge breath and releasing it out of her mouth, she leaned her back against the wall. "Then do you have time to listen to a kind of long story?"

"Sure." His body arched as his arms leaned on his thighs. Twisting the bracelet on her wrist, she began telling him about her relationship from a different perspective.

"Once, there was a boy and a girl who were high school sweethearts. They started dating during the senior year of high school. Before college hit, their relationship went smoothly. They had dreams that they wished to fulfill. They shared the same goal and always talked about how they would become who they wanted to be in the future."

"Since this was her first boyfriend, she thought that going along with what he wanted her to do and making him happy was her job. Maybe college was too overwhelming for him, or he was always the type to stay home; he stopped going out on dates. The girl would buy and deliver food to him."

"While she stayed at his place for half a day, all he focused on was video games and food. When he lost in those games, he would blame it on the girl's presence and spit out nasty words. Because of his own forgetfulness, he ended up not completing his assignments."

"Still, the girl didn't complain once because she knew if she said anything, he would go on a rage. From throwing objects around to calling her worst names; it put her into a stressful environment. Slowly, she stopped smiling in front of him and had gotten used to his harsh words. When she felt confident, he would criticize the flaws on her body shape and face."

Swallowing her saliva constantly, her fingers had paused on rotating the bracelet. Her eyes started burning again, but she forced herself to continue talking despite her rasped voice. Hearing her deepened voice, he handed her the tissue box and sat on the edge of the bed.

She didn't immediately reach for the tissue. Instead, she continued her story.

"The girl tried her best to conceal her insecurities around him, but it didn't work. She did many stupid things for him that were out of her way. Even when she was on crutches, she cared about his meals before hers. Once, she delivered food to his apartment only to be locked out because he was in a bad mood."

Droplets fell from the corner of her eyes as she sniffled and looked at Lin Que with a small smile, "Stupid, isn't she?"

He shook his head, took a clean tissue and wiped her moistened cheeks. "No. She's just a very caring girl who fell for the wrong guy." The heavy burden on her chest lightened after hearing his words.

Freeing these thoughts from her mind, she shared her truest feelings to him. "That silly girl finally woke up from this toxic relationship and thought about everything she's done for him. While she was trying to give him another chance, he was already talking to other girls. His excuse for doing this was because he couldn't wait for the girl to be ready to get to the next step of the relationship."

"At the end, they broke up. The girl was very glad she saw his true colors and wiggled out of the shitty relationship. But a part of her is hurting because she feels so stupid to not have realized the type of asshole he was. Maybe this was what people mean by outsiders have a clearer view than those who are part of the situation."

While she spoke, his hands didn't slack off one bit. Every time he sees her tears falling; he would wipe it with a tissue. When she needed him to respond to something, he would patiently comfort her by her side. Finally, her story was finished, and she heaved a huge sigh.

"That's the whole story. What do you think? Doesn't she have the worst luck?" Taking a clean tissue, she blew her nose and wiped her eyes roughly. He frowned at the way she rubbed her eyes.

Pulling another piece of tissue from the tissue box, he lightly dabbed on her delicate skin.

"First of all, this is the least damaging way to wipe your eyes. Don't scrub your eyes with tissue anymore. Second of all, I don't think the girl is stupid. Instead, she's quite smart because she dumped him before he took advantage of her body. There were many examples of abusive relationships in the past leading to suicidal thoughts and depression. I think the girl's self-blame is just one of the phases many would go through."

Carefully brushing her fringe away from her eyes, he continued explaining. "From my perspective, the girl has done more than what a girlfriend would have done. He is a manipulative person who should see a psychiatrist because he has anger issues. Maybe she didn't have the best luck because she met someone who didn't love her."

"The girl is gold that a lot of good men would die for. In this case, she learned a very important lesson. She will learn after getting past the self-blame phase. He tried isolating the girl from others by destroying her self-esteem, so that she wouldn't leave him. This lasted for a few years. If anything, that girl is very fortunate to have gotten away."

Smiling at the neatly styled fringe, his eyes lowered to meet hers. She looked fragile and unprotected, making him want to hug her when she asked, "What if he is aggressively messaging the girl? What should she do?"

He didn't realize that when he played with her fringe earlier, he had gotten onto the bed. Their faces were close enough to make him blush.

Moving slightly backwards to maintain a safe distance, he cleared his throat and answered, "If his messages bother the girl, then she should decide whether she wants to keep him as a friend. From the sound of it, he might try pressuring her back into the relationship. I would suggest her to stay away from this type of man because it would only drag her down."

Listening to his advice, she smiled, "Thanks. The girl probably just needed a little bit of courage to make her next move."

"Mhmm. No problem at all." He checked the time and realized it was already two in the morning. Giving her a second look to make sure she was in a much better mental state, he said, "It's getting late. You should take some rest."

Once again, he felt a warm hand holding him back. Trying his best to not smile, he turned around. "Yes?"

"Can you stay for a few more minutes? No, just a minute is enough. Pretty please?"

"Okay," he replied. While he looked calm on the outside, his inner thoughts were, 'Even if you asked me to skip my shift to accompany you, I'll say yes.'

"Thank you." Taking another deep breath, she took out her cellphone and pressed the screen a few times. She unlocked her phone, clicked into all her social media accounts, removed Hawk and blocked him. Since all her social media accounts were private, he wouldn't be able to contact her.

Relieved that she finally made this step to cut him off, she put her phone down and smiled cheerfully, "I'm done! Thank you for accompanying me the whole night!"

Seeing her pretty smile once again, he also smiled, "I'll come back to check up on you later. By the way, a smile suits you the best. Tears don't look good at all."

He closed the door on his way out. As soon as he left, she buried her face into her pillow and felt her cheeks heating up. "When did I become this shy?"