What in whatever god's name happened here?

Bloody hell, they are still going at it. They went from role-play sex to screaming sex! And I have to walk out of here with that nymphomaniac and horny half-rabbit, or should I say "Jasmine the Knight" and "Yun Che the Beast". I jump up from the bed to walk slowly and quietly to Yun Che and Jasmine's room with Ellie dangling from my neck. She wakes up and whispers to me.

"Master, what were those noises during the night? And why did big sis and big bro say those things like "Harder! Harder!" and "Oh yeah, that's the spot!"?"

I slowly turn my head towards Ellie and think, well I am as fucked as a child at a cult gathering.

"We will talk about that soon. One crisis at a time." I mumbled that last part.

While looking at the door that held beyond it the sin of lust, I got ready to enter as soon as possible. With the moans and "Fuck me harder!" still going on, I go into the room and it smelt very strange. I looked Jasmine who was under Yun Che on the pitiful table, I feel bad for that table, it properly needs some therapy. Like a guy who is too deep into the friendzone, like Snape from Harry Potter.

They both don't have clothes and now they are looking at me. I quickly examined the rest of the room and it was disgusting. Yellow-white goop everywhere mixed in with a clear liquid, everything is a mess. They broke the dresser somehow and I look to see a couple dents on the floor and walls with the yellow-white mixture concentrated there. I put my hands together and look at them.

"Excuse me, but what the fuck!" I screamed. I feel sorry for the person who has to clean this abomination of a room, looking like a brothel here.

"We can explain!"

"We can explain!"

"Go to the 9th layer of hell with your explanation, we are broke as fuck and you two are acting like you two ingested 1 billion teenager worth of hormones! Who in this god-forsaken world will clean this up without want to hang them selves in the middle of cleaning! Shame on you! And that table properly feels violated, you even dented the fucking innocent walls with your butt-fucking! Very good! Very fucking good, you nymphomaniacs!" I say slowly but still loud. And they don't even have a little shame!

Yun Che stands up and looks at me with an arrogant look to his face. Ah shit, here we go.

"You don't decide what we do, Naruto."

"You are right, Yun Che, but I do decide two different things."

"What are those things?"

"One, what we do with the money we have so no more sweets for both of you."

"And what is the second?"

"I am glad you asked, it is-"

While talking, I activate Shadow self and place it in behind me.

Shadow Self- Creates a Clone of yourself that transfers information in real time and has 100% of your stats and has Intermediate Intelligence. The clone is covered in a black shadow. Able to place it anywhere 5 meters around you in any position.

Cost: Nothing

Cooldown: 30 seconds

Duration: 1 hour

Can only have 2 Shadow Selves at the same time.

"How I am going to clap your arrogent face."

Both my shadow and I say that at the same time to add extra effect. But they are not intimidated and then Yun Che tries to slap my face. I backstep and use my right leg to push him back with a kick. It is successful and he falls back onto some of the yellow-white mixture. Jasmine glares at me with an angry look on her face and I simply smile lightly in response.

[In a different time]

"So what happened next?" A woman curled up in a blanket like a sushi roll asked with curiosity in her eyes. She also has a strange pendant that glows and a ring on her right hand with a small red gem on it. A cup of orange juice was placed by the woman in the middle of the blanket to drink in case she got thirsty. Not that kind of thirsty you sick horny smucks.

She was lying on the couch with a blonde man with whiskers stroking who was stroking the woman's head. He is wearing a unicorn onesie and they are both watching Evangelion on the tv.

"Well, that is a story for another time, lets just relax for the moment." The man said while drinking her orange juice. The woman snapped her head at the man while still in the sushi roll blanket.

"Hey! Give that back!"

"Ok." The man kissed her on the lips with the orange juice being tranferred from the man's mouth to the womans mouth. The woman enjoyed the kiss and melted straight into it.

[Back to present time]

(AN: There, I did fan service. Don't ask me about it ever again until chapter 100 or something.)

I immediatly bolted out of there with my summons in the summon space but Ellie was still dangling on my neck and is hostile to any girl. The keys to the room were thrown by me at the staff and I heard a scream 10 seconds after. I silently pray for the poor person that has to clean up after us and I immediatly run towards the destination. Apparently, the chunin exams are like 3 months from now, so I should the fox summoning.

While in forest so no one sees, I put Ellie back into the summon space and open the scroll. It has no one's name on it and a little paper slip tells me how to summon the foxes. I take a kunai and it took a couple of minutes on pressing the tip on my finger until it bled. I used the blond to write my name and I used the summoning technique.

Summoning Jutsu (Fox)

Costs in between 10 or 10000 depending on creature summoned.

Cooldown: None

Duration: As long as the summon isn't defeated.

I put my palm on the ground and a seal spreads out before I see a red fox about a little above average size appears and looks at me.

"Who dare summons I, the great fox!" I sense the chakra levels of the fox and it is about 100/100 chakra points. I look at my chakra bar and it went down by 10. Why do I meet so many chuuniboyu's?

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki and I am the Kyubi's Jinchuriki."

...

"What?"

"I am Na-"

"I know what you said, but how are you able to summon foxes?"

I point to the scroll he is sitting on. He looks at my name and shakes his head.

"Ok, come with me." I taps on my shoulder and we disappear in a puff of smoke. We were teleported to another forest but it has different shaped holes around and I see a fountain in the center of it all with a stone fox spitting water out of his mouth. The fox taps on my leg.

"Come with me, I will take you to the sage." He says and runs towards the thick forest. I follow him and I look to see a big white fox sitting with 8 tails on it. It is using the tails to eat grapes.

"Oh, a human. Never had you guys since forever." From the voice I presume the fox is a boy.

{Hey, brat. The seal is back, I guess your pops still doesn't trust me. Well want to open it again for intimidation?}

Sounds cool.

_______________

(Mini Joke)

"Oh, hi Mrs...."

"I am a boy and my name is Felix." He says while wearing a dress and a bra, ok.

"... These people's fashion senses are insane!"