CHAPTER 11: HER FRIENDSHIP, HER COMPANY

ZANDER

It got out of control that we ended up something I should not have. Yes, we did sex in the poolside.

Luckily, it was slightly dark and it was just the two of us. I feel guilty because she is Shane's sister. If he knew what I did, he might kill me.

I should have not kissed her I should have not been an idiot. I lost control when I am with her. This is stupid she is only 16 and never been into a one nightstand.

I never do relationship; girls come and go in my life without commitment. I am not ready with commitment and complications.

This is just me I do not experience heartbreak or any relationship at all. It was just I am not really that serious. I don't know but it is just what I like. No string attaches.

"I am so sorry. I should not have…" Shay snapped me off.

"Stop!" I saw her face when she cut me off. "Do not say another word. Just forget this." She was beginning to put on the swimwear. With that, she walked away from me and went upstairs.

I stood there frozen I feel uneasy with what I have done. I can see her expressions when I apologized. What have I done? She was a good damn girl and I was really an idiot. We connected with each other very well but it ruins with my lust.

I pulled my hair and sat on the ground. Do I really regret it? I feel something for her than any other girls but I cannot promise anything for assurance.

I walked upstairs and stopped at her door. I wanted to talk to her and hear my side. I did not apologize because I do not know exactly why I say sorry. Maybe half of the reason of sorry because I am not the person, she wants to be more than she needs.

I was about to knock but I changed my mind instead. I walked towards my room and straight to the bathroom. I took a cold shower to cleanse all the things that I have been doubtful.

The water is still running I was thinking about her, her eyes that looks hurt. I punched the bathroom wall.

"Damn it"

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Since that night on her birthday, she changed a lot towards me. The things we used to do as chatting on the phone was gone in the wind. I lose a friend in her. I still texting her every day but she did not reply. Even so, it did not stop me telling her everything. I feel like I was jotting a diary for what I did the entire day.

I tried talking to her but I could see that she is avoiding me whenever I am near or even in their house. She stays mostly to her room even Shane was calling to join us.

It has been weeks and I miss talking to her already. What was happening to me? I do not know why I am upset with the things going on with us. I tried forgetting about that night and I thought I could forget about it by hooking up with girls in school or other school.

Senior year was quite busy nowadays, having many activities and assignments but we still come up with everything. I keep my distance with Shay for a while. I know I hurt her feelings big time.

Besides that, graduation is fast approaching. I have been pre-occupied. I already apply some universities from other states that I am going to college soon.

It is Friday night and there is a party going on in one of the seniors of our school. All the senior students were there including my friends and me.

My mind was not really in the party, I was thinking of her, Shayla. She was always staying at home and never goes out for partying.

I saw Shane left again with some girl in his arms and guessing again, they will be in somewhere but not in their house. He never brings a girl inside their house. He has some respect to his parents and Shay too.

I waited for a few minutes before decided to go to a place that keeps bugging inside my mind. Shay's house.

I know their parents were at the hospital right now on duty. Therefore, she is alone and this is my chance to talk to her before graduation few months away now.

I left my car in my garage and walked towards their house. It was just a walking distance away from theirs.

I looked at her window, checking my clock and it was 11. She's still awake. I pressed the doorbell for her to come down. I took a deep breath before it opened the door.

When the door opened, I wasted no time. "Hi" I said. I saw her just stood there staring at me in confusion.

"What are you in here at this hour?" Shay said pouting her lips and frown. It was not an angry tone.

"I came here for you. To talk to you I Miss you. I am sorry." I said without pause. It just came out from my mouth that I came for her to talk that I misses her and I am sorry which was true.

She stood there froze without blinking and I was the one who closed the door and make sure to locked it. I was standing in front of her still staring at me with her mouth open from shock with what I said.

My eyes focused on her lips in a minute I lose my senses that I suddenly kissed her. Yeah, her lips were tempting in front of me as if it says kiss me.

I was the one who closed the door and locked it. Her lips were still on me. We pulled away for breathing. This is ridiculous but I miss those lips.

She blinked, clearing her throat.