MY CAT DRINKS COFFEE AND THROWS ME AGAINST A WALL

I never believed I would have had such a crazy and dangerous two months.

Two months where my house got blown up and I was chased by an army of European short hairs.

Two months where I was repeatedly thrown against walls, electrocuted and even mind controlled.

Two months where my whole view of society changed.

An it all started with the whir of appliances at 12 am.

I am woken up by the soft but persistent whir of electrical appliances. "What in the-?" I mutter sleepily, turning over in my bed and switching on my phone. It's twelve in the morning, and I live alone. I jolt in fear. Burglars? No. They would have taken my phone by now, or the purse lying discarded on my nightstand. The whirring noise continues, sounding suspiciously like... my coffee maker?

The whirring noise stops, replaced by the pouring of liquid. I slip off my covers and swing my feet off the bed, giving off a few silent yawns. Whatever this is, I don't need a mess in the morning. I put my feet in a pair of fluffy bedroom slippers. "I'm pretty sure I turned off the coffee maker..." I say to myself." Rounding the corner the nose grows louder. I put a hand to the swinging door and push it gently, the hinges creaking in protest. A surprised meow rings through the night. "Smokey?"

I flip the light switch and widen my eyes.

Smokey, my cat, sits peacefully on the kitchen counter. My favorite mug is nearby, filled to the brim with the brown creamy liquid. My eyes extend to their limit.

The mug is FLOATING, hovering in the air above his ears.

I stare, mouth agape for several seconds, making full eye contact with Smokey, who looks as red handed as a cat would be. The I do what any human in this situation would.

I scream at the top of my lungs. Smokey, surprised by the sound, bats his legs. I am suddenly thrown off my feet like I am tethered to an invisible rope, slamming into the far kitchen wall. I can hear my own bones breaking, creaking and snapping like logs in a furnace. I slide down the wall, letting out a weak groan.

Smokey rushes toward me, his paws tapping in the AIR. I let out a cough, blood dripping from my lips. "Smokey?" I utter through shaky breaths.

"Oh, man. I am so screwed. How am I gonna get food now?"

I close my eyes and drift off into unconsciousness.