9 _OCD or PTSD or both?
I yawned, stretching my hands up in the air. Popped my ached muscle back to normal state. I didn't realised that I was asleep on the carpeted floor only on with my single pillow and blanket after finishing my chores: folding the clothes.
Hello, not my only clothes okay but including the triplets belongings.
Got tired of long day today, went to boss's shack, drove back home, tidy up the messy house when the people in the house so much lazy to do the chores. Glaring at the wall clock...
Huh? 17 minutes only?
I thought I was asleep like throughout the night but...wow, sounds like I was in a deep sleep in short period of time. What the rarest thing that happened to me...getting a very good nap free from the nightmares...
Welp, that was me called that as a nap! You napped when you really need to get rest for awhile because your body needs to be recharge. Don't want to push myself further because I might getting hard to get back sleep at my usual time. No...let me treasure my sleep nicely, if I can...
Alone again and how heavenly I felt because they were out again tonight.
Hahahaha....*I'm on my evil laughed mode. Come on, laughed it out with me. You deserved it, guys!*
So much happy if they never returned tonight or any night for my entire life. Take that suckers!
But!
But...they leave a long list to do. F****r!
*Sighing and slumping the body on the carpeted floor rolling up with the blanket making myself like a caterpillar, trashing myself unsatisfied with the tasks. No...too tired!*
I shook my head with big sighing. What was wrong with me and the sighing? Best friend?
Cinderella? I'm a not a Cinderella if you claimed me to be. Or what Romy always called me the ugly Cindralella: the stepsister of Cinderella. Wow, got new name, babe! Not Anastasia and Drizella!
Pfft...my a**.
I don't know if I'm having this kind of symptoms to be called as an OCD patient. It was because I don't have the habits to wash my hands repeatedly way to avoid the germs, no but slightly...I was more to organising things.
Problems came around if you don't put everything in similar manners. Means, all of the stuff must be properly in order.
Arrange everything in order like similar colour code and size or designed clothing, neatly and nicely. Must be perfect in every way possible. It's a must!
....
Maybe I was an OCD patient...
Ughhh...never mind. Just let it slide to the side. The most important thing will be happened next. Well, I just done with my maid duty due to the irresponsible triplets. Hoping to let the snail to walk faster, no, snail don't walk but crawling. Really? Well, the internet people call it as a snail locomotion. It's not transportation, okay, it's a movement...
Urmm...the house would have turned out to be like the rats nesting places. Ew... if I'm not the one that do the chores. From where this thought came out? 😶😶
*Blank, blank.*
Hey...
What happened with me now! Got carried away again with unwanted info. Yeah...just stop rambling Didie Aulia. Focus...focus...not zoned out again!
What did doctors said?
1-Concentrate to the current situation.
2-Avoid filled the thought with crazy stuff.
3-Busying yourself to stopped yourself wondered to the random things.
For me... stopped thinking, stopped remembering!
Impossible!
The mission was impossible! I need to thinking and remembering! 😩
That was for PTSD, short term of post-traumatic stress disorder.
I have those for as long as I can remember. My ultimate nightmares whenever my mind didn't listened to the orders. The medication still in my schedule for until I was totally out of it.
Well, might be for the rest of my life.
...
Again...
Stopped it!
I untangled myself huffing with my silly self.
Luckily my spring cleaning will be on the next two weeks. Yeah, monthly... every month, I will do the mass cleaning throughout the house in order to discard the unused stuff to restore, organise, compile and etc. stuff neatly.
Why?
Easy. In order to find anything you needed. That's it! It's all done with the new label and tags. In next couple of weeks, the labels item will be replaced into the new one.
I might throw away the triplets belongings that they loved to left messy on the floor without they realise it as per pay back time, if, they trying to make me do stupid job again😼😼.
Sofea, was one of my regular customer that loves my services. She will let me know if she needed my help once awhile. I just advised her, what's the best way to decorate the house thus her house not only cleaned but also in organised manners. She trusted me because she knew how picky I was when it comes to that.
Once again I glanced at the clock. Quarter to 11 pm and made me rambling internally about half an hour ago. Get up , Didie!
Romeo and Danny will be here to install the recording devices soon. They knew what should and shouldn't be done and in return I will treat them with their requested special double layer fried chicken burger.
Those treat was made by our street neighborhood friend, Talha. He's owned the recipes that has been passed down from his grandfather from his maternal side. He was the third generation whose continued with the heaven food legacies. Wow!
The signature burger by Talha's small street diner was one of the best dishes along with his other foods in our district. Yeah, it's fast food but it does gave you satisfaction for your taste buds as well as your stomach.
Satisfied✓
Full stomach✓
Delicious✓
etc.✓
LOL...
If I was distressed I would be joining him here be the helping hands and most of the time he will do some of his flirty tricks to flirt with me and he always in the mood on it.
Don't you feel bored, Talha, to make pick up lines and use them like never ending stock whenever I was around? I would glared at him all the time and what did he do?
He continued his pick up lines assault to me with non stop action. Seriously Talha. Did you realise that your children might misunderstood about that? I don't do false hope, Talha. It might injured your family and yourself deeply if you misinterpreted it.
Seriously, not to my rejection but to my whole self. Better off from any harbored feeling TO me. I couldn't let you guys having some sort of internal battle due to my broken state. I was a beyond repair, heartbroken person because I was afraid to give it a try towards that.
Yeah...no wonder I have been on crushing on somebody, have been with in my imaginary love! I was and am still AFRAID to that...
We discussed it later, back to Talha's story...
We both have history back there. We both did helped each other until we became a very good friend and acquaintance.
Talha, singled father with six kids did helped me for my rented flat past a few years back. He got plenty on his plate to take good care of his family. Being as a singled father was not easy. How to manage his kids without a woman in his life after her wife passed away on their last childbirth.
Sometimes, I did bought something for his kids. Just some stuff that they will use for the school or house. Helped him to babysit his children if been needed, too. He need to fulfill the kids first before he came for the second.
Morning at 10 till 7 in the evening, he worked at the car shop as a mechanic and at night he opened his small diner in his front yards until 1 or 2 o'clock. Easy for him to monitor his kids.
He willingly sacrifices everything including his stable job in order to having flexible time table to handle his routine. His last job couldn't let him stay because he was a pilot. Needs to travel all the time and after his wife passed, he had to quit his job immediately without regretting the decision he's made.
"Family comes first. Money and fame you can find along the way as long as your family is with you."
That was his most remembered remarks and glued into my brain and my heart. What a good man, he was, right? And I do hope that one day he will deserved much better for his family and himself.
Ding!
Stretching my right hand, I grabbed my phone on my folded pile of clothes and instantly open the messages.
R: OTW! 😘
Me: 👌👌
D: Hi, love!
Me: 😒😒
D: Y?
Me: 🤪
D: 😘😘
Me: 🤮🤮
D: What? How could you! 😢😢
Me: 🙄 Do I care?
D: --
R: R u guys messaging?
D & Me: 🤐
R: ??
Served you right!
With that emojis notification, I collected all the piles before retreating them into respective belongings. I washed my face and brushed my teeth before running my fingers on to my short hair, readjust the style.
I changed into my comfy large sweatshirt and my favourite pale coloured skinny jeans before went out to the living room. Stopping by the kitchen, I was satisfied with the entire cleanliness and drank some plain water on the counter.
Speaking of the devil, they were here with wide smile when I opened the door. So happy to take some serious action, I might say it. Well, me too, I won't lie but in my terms was a pay back time!
