iamnaz7
Based on this first chapter, I can already see that you write better than most of the people on this site so keep up the good work!
The Grammar really needs fixing, I understand English isn't your fluent language and many people will get turned off by it. I'll have to drop the story, as I I'm unable to enjoy it while my brain is trying to correct the grammar in my head. Hopefully one day you can come back and do some proofreading.
It was a great start to learn English and improve it myself. I was not a book reader until I decided to learn english as soon as possible.I have been noted an App web novel on my phone then suddenly thought its the best time to do it.My wish is not gone wrong. Now I am confident. I can be a like the author of it. Thankyou to the author