Chapter 53

Duan Cai could see the shimmering stars from a side glance at the window in his room. It was something that always seemed to help him relax but for some reason the stars were not helping him. As a god the vastness of creation was something that he always enjoyed admiring. There was a soft tap at his door as he lay there on his bed staring off at the window. The tapping at his door slowly pulled him back to reality as he realized someone was slowly nudging his door open to walk inside.

"Who?" Duan Cai felt a slight tinge of annoyance that someone would just walk into his room in the middle of the night without him voicing his opinion.

"I knew you were awake." Bullet's face twitched as his figure slowly slid into the room and pushed the door quietly shut behind himself. There was a tired expression on his face as if he had been up all night long so far as well.

"What do you want this late?" Duan Cai rubbed his thumb against his forehead as he tried to relieve his own aching migraine.

"I can't sleep because of you so I just wanted to make sure everything was alright." Bullet's glare was heavy as he stared Duan Cai down. Just as the day they first me there was a clear determination behind the gaze of those eyes. When he looked at Bullet's eyes it was like staring into the universe itself. The will strength of this man when it came to survival was like a beast.

"What are you talking about?" Duan Cai could not think of a reason why Bullet would be affected by him because no soul connection had ever affected the other person before in all of his existence. The only thing that Duan Cai failed to comprehend was that until he became mortal he had no emotions for those of the past to receive from him. In over ten thousands years Bullet was the first person who had a true connection to know everything Duan Cai felt emotionally.

Your emotions are a damn roller coaster ride.. Bullet sighed to his own thought.

"It's a damn connection you shoved onto me! I can't sleep with you freaking out so calm the fuck down!" Bullet snapped while half asleep. He grit his teeth together as he tried to comprehend who's emotions were whose. When it came to Duan Cai's emotions it felt like a train wreck because they were all over the place and it almost made it hard to find his own self among them all. The only thing Bullet knew was that everything Duan Cai's soul was sending him felt dark, painful, and made his body want to shudder til he'd fall to his knees. He could not understand how Duan Cai seemed as though he was holding himself together because inside of him it was like someone set off a nuke.

"Huh?" Duan Cai sighed as he tried to understand how he was not being calm.

"Begging.." Bullet muttered something under his breath as his body finally fell to it's knees in front of Duan Cai.

"What?" Duan Cai asked as he sat up straight straight to help Bullet get his footing back but the man shoved his offer away.

"I'm begging you," Bullet's triple colored eyes in that moment looked as though they wanted to cry out as he stared Duan Cai down for a solution. "make it stop. Make this pain stop."

"I can't just stop the connection.." Duan Cai muttered out his answer as he tried to understand what was going on. His tolerance to pain was beyond a normal mortal so he could not understand how damaged he really felt. He had lived for so long that he had experienced situations that could make a person beg for death as well from both sides of the situation. He had no way to realize that what he felt was something that could hurt a mortal so much and that he was more affected by it all then he was capable of realizing.

Bullet felt fed up with the fact of how oblivious Duan Cai seemed to everything he was feeling. The fact that the man would not let himself accept his own feelings was destroying them both inside and Bullet could feel it. As if on instinct his rage boiled over for a moment and his body flung itself forward. His hands tightly grasped Duan Cai by his shoulders as he slammed the man down on his back on the bed. His own body towering over Duan Cai from above as he sat on the side of the bed while his hands firmly held him down in place.

"The fact that you can't realize it yourself is beyond me, but if you keep going like you are you're going to destroy us both in the end. I am you and you are me. What you feel I feel and I'd rather not be lost in darkness with you so let out your damn emotions and accept that you feel like shit! Don't let your feelings destroy you!" Bullet stared at him for a moment before realizing how embarrassing his own words felt.

While he watched Bullet tower above him and speak his words Duan Cai felt as though a large rock had lodged itself in his throat and he could not find the words to retort back. His body had become stiff and his eyes stung. A strange warm liquid started to slowly slide down his face from his eyes. Was his body really giving out and going to cry because this man scolded him? A rush of embarrassment washed over him as his face flushed red slightly.

Aside from how Bullet had Duan Cai pinned to the bed to get his words across Duan Cai was blushing because the idea of being seen crying in front of another was something he highly hated. He was not someone to naturally give such a reaction in front of another. The fact that Duan Cai was finally crying over his parents and everything else was a relief to Bullet. He could feel a slight relief in his chest as his grip on Duan Cai slowly loosened but he could see that the damage was still far from undone. At the most Duan Cai would be able to cry himself to sleep as he let everything sink in and accepted the pain instead of shoving it aside to damage himself.

Seeing the tears rolling down Duan Cai's face made Bullet feel absolutely horrible and yet slightly enjoyable. He had been dragged into their mansion and forced to be bound to Duan Cai so forcing the man to cry honestly felt great. Though the more he thought about it the more he realized the longer he spent with Duan Cai's group that he was beginning to feel at home among them all. If their bond was one day broken would he really leave? His hand slowly swept across Duan Cai's face until he was smoothing back his bangs from his tear filled eyes.