I'm not dealing with this shit!

Wiz/Aqua/Alex: Evil Spirits?

In short, the visitor was a real estate agent, and all sorts of spirits were appearing in the empty houses. The visitor even asked around the adventurer's guild. Everyone said that they didn't know how to handle it.

Man: No matter how we exorcise them, the evil spirits keep coming one after another. Nevermind selling the houses, just clearing the houses of spirits is a pain.

Alex raised an eyebrow, then why asking Wiz? The man saw the doubts on Alex's face and explained.

Man: Before Wiz set up shop here, she was a powerful mage. Whenever the people in town ran into any difficulty, they would seek Wiz for aid. And Wiz seemed to be the expert on handling undead monsters. That's why I'm here asking for her help.

Alex nodded in agreement, liches are known as overlords of death after all.

Alex: We can help on this case.

Man: Hmm?

Wiz: Ah, you don't need to do it, just leave it to me.

Alex: Don't worry, consider this as the favor I owned you for telling me the things about Binky's horn. Sir, my friend here is an Archpriest and my job is perfect to handle souls and spirits. We can help you.

Man: Oh, thank you! 

[Later]

Alex and his party were on the mansion, it was in the suburbs, even though the mansion was big, the number of the rooms were few.

Aqua: Not bad! This place is great! This is where someone like me should be staying in!

Aqua and Megumin seemed really excited about the mansion.

Before, Alex could buy it and still have much money to spend since he has a bit more than 500 million of Eris, however he was afraid that Aqua would try to get more debts if she knew about how much money he had. And it worked, she didn't bought useless things and was never on debts since the first time he found out.

Why "Before, Alex could buy it"?

Because right now, if they exorcise the spirits, the mansion was free for them to use.

Darkness: But can we really exorcise the evil spirits? I heard new spirits would keep coming back no matter how much you clear them.

Megumin: But it feels like this place has not been occupied for a very long time. Didn't the disturbance of the spirits only happen recently? Could it be, this mansion already had issues before the spirit problem hit the entire town…?

Alex: Even if this mansion had problems from the beginning, we'll be fine. We have Aqua with us if things go to the deep shit, and I can also attack souls.

Aqua: Leave it to me! ...Fufu, I can see it, I can see it! With my spiritual eyes, I see the noble, who was fooling around with a maid, and the child that the maid bore, who was kept here as the illegitimate child of the noble clan! 

The noble died from illness, and the maid went missing. The young girl left here contracted the same disease as her father, and died without ever seeing the faces of her parents! Her name was Anna Filante Asteroid.

The things she liked were her dolls and the stories of adventurers! But please don't worry, this spirit won't pull pranks on us. She will not harm us! Oh my, she might be a child, but she liked mature things like drinking fine wine. So, prepare some wine as an offering!

Alex looked at her in surprise before turning suspicious at the last sentence. Then he asked Megumin and Darkness.

Alex: ...Hey, what do you think? I want to ask why this girl knows such unnecessary settings and names… Is she all right in the head? Or perhaps I judged her too hastily?

They stood silent…

[Late at night]

They took off their equipment and settled down in the mansion, Alex took the biggest room on the second floor and started to sleep, hoping that Aqua would do her job properly…

Aqua: Ahhh!? Waahhhhhh!!

...Or not… Alex got up and went to her room, a bit worried about her.

Alex: What is it?! Are you okay?

He opened the door and found…

Aqua: Boo… Wooo… A-Aaaaaleeeex!!

She was cradling an empty wine bottle and crying in the middle of the room… Hey, give me back my worries…

Aqua: This was my precious wine. I was looking forward and enjoying it after my bath! But it was empty when I returned to my room, ahhh!!

Alex: ...I see, good night, see you tomorrow…

Aqua: Ahh!? Wait, Alex! A spirit! This must be the work of an evil spirit! The wild spirits that congregated here, or the illegitimate child that was bound to this mansion! It must be either of these two! I'll make my rounds around the mansion and destroy all the spirits I see!

...Well, at least she was much more determined… She was still speaking how she would exorcise the spirits when Darkness' voice sounded from a nearby room.

Darkness: Is something wrong? It's getting late, so please behave yourselves.

Alex: This girl said her wine was taken by evil spirits and wants to exorcise them now. I'll go to sleep…

Then he turned back to his room, leaving Aqua alone…

[Later]

Alex woke up in the middle of the night… He needs to pee. But he was unable to move, sleep paralysis? No, it was those spirits that were holding him in the bed.

Alex: FUCK!!!

He summoned a Shadow Spear of Nulgath and stabbed them until he was free, then he jumped out of the bed and put an hand on his heart due to his really fast heartbeats. He may be able to kill the spirits, but he was still human!

*Pop*

It was a really loud sound, he turned towards a corner and saw a tiny doll of a girl in a dress…

Alex: No, I'm not going to do this…

He rushed out of the door and looked around, before seeing a small sea of dolls rushing at him with a creepy face.

Alex: FUUUUUUUUCK!!

He started to run towards Aqua's room… He wasn't prepared for this, he wanted to deal with spirits, not dolls that would make you shit in your pants!

*Clank!* *Crack* *Bang!*

Alex kept running, not even daring to turn away, he reached for Aqua's door and without even knocking, he rushed straight in before closing the door, the dolls were banging the door while he held it up.

He hastily looked around and the first thing he found was blood-red eyes staring at him.

Alex: Hyaaa!!

?: Wahhhh!!

Both Alex and the owner of the red eyes screamed. Alex stopped and saw who it was, realizing it was Megumin in her pajamas.

Alex: My poor heart! Goddammit Megumin!

Megumin: Th-That's my line! Why did you come to this room! I thought Aqua was coming back…!

Alex: And why were you in her room? And where is Aqua?

Megumin: Ugh… Eh, there... there was a doll… Eh, moving around my room…

Alex: So, you too…

Megumin: You were chased around by dolls too? But weren't you able to hurt them?

Alex: Being able to do it and doing it are two different things! I'm not going to get out and deal with that creepy shit! I would prefer staying in Grimskull's Dungeon!

After Alex said that, Megumin realized something.

Megumin: Alex, the noise outside the door seems to have stopped. Maybe the dolls aren't there anymore?

Alex: I'm not going to open the door, I saw enough movies to know where it ends. Now, if you can do it, please face the door and cover your ears. I'm going to relieve myself at the balcony...

He went to the balcony while undoing the belt on his trousers, and at this point, Megumin grabbed the belt of his trousers from behind, not letting go.

Alex: ...Hey, what are you doing?

Megumin: I won't let you go! How could I let you relieve yourself! Aren't we comrades!? Whether it's the toilet or anywhere, we'll go together…!

Alex: Stop that! Why are you picking this moment to talk about being comrades! Didn't you say that Crimson Demons don't need to use the washroom?! 

Megumin: …

Her silence scared Alex a bit, and found her staring at something behind Alex.

Alex: ...The dolls are behind me?

Megumin just nodded and started to back away, Alex slowly turned around and found many dolls pressing against the window and looking at their way.

Alex: SHIT!

Megumin: Ahhhh!

Both of them screamed and charged out of the room while Alex picked the empty bottle of wine for personal uses.

They reached the bathroom and Megumin went inside it while Alex started to pee in the bottle of wine. Alex finished first so he was more relaxed, meanwhile…

Megumin: *Sniff* ...Alex, are you there? Don't leave me, okay?

Alex: I'm here! Shut up and finish fast! Before we find Aqua the better it is!

She was talking for awhile because she was worried that she will be alone.

Megumin: ...Um, Alex, it's a bit embarrassing to go to the ladies' room like this, could you loudly sing a song or something?

Alex: I would prefer saying every racist slur from the A to the Z to a black man than singing in front of the toilet with someone pissing at the other side.

Megumin: ...I'm curious, can you tell me about the slurs?

Alex: Fuck off!

Soon, she finished and both of them went on their way around the mansion to link up with Aqua and probably Darkness as soon as possible.

*Clank-Clank-Clank-Clank*

Alex quickly held Megumin in a princess carry style and ran away as fast as he could while he placed one arm behind him.

Alex: [Soul Bind]!

Ethereal chains came out from walls, floor and ceiling, making a sort of spider-web wall of chains to block the incoming dolls, they reached Alex's room and he threw Megumin in the ground before going to his pillow and pulling out Binky's horn while summoning 4 Evolved Shadow Spears of Nulgath.

Alex: I'm stabbing the shit out of them if they come in!

Megumin Hey! Are you planning to blow the whole house away!?

Alex relaxed a bit and unsummoned the spears, before he took deep breaths.

Alex: ...Alright…

Then he summoned 2 Champion Blades of Nulgath, and gave one to Megumin.

Alex: Charge out after the door is open, my demonic weapons can kill ghosts.

Megumin nodded and Alex kicked the door open, and it hit something really hard. Then he grabbed Megumin's free hand and planned to get out of the mansion where there was a bigger area to fight, but they were stopped from a voice.

Darkness: Aqua! Hey, Aqua, are you okay?!

Alex turned stiff and both him and Megumin turned around, seeing Aqua squatting down, nursing her face, and Darkness who called out to her.