Bending Wall

(Miline)

~

Big sister Amy told me and my little brother that big sister Xie was coming home. I was so very happy when she said that, but, yesterday, big sister Amy was acting strange. I even told Kola and he wanted to be with Amy since he loves her but denies it.

I'm not sure if I should be worried or if I should help her. In any case, I am Kolas big sister, too! Even if I was born first, I have to protect my little brother with all my might.

Momma and big sisters don't know I am a real girl because I made a promise to Milo that I wouldn't let anyone know I was alive. Big brother Milo was born before me and was bigger by one many years...

Before he went to sleep for a while, he held my hand and made me promise to stay with Kola and be his big brother by taking Milo's name. The red paint, stained my hands then and I didn't really know what he was walking about, but, now that I am older, I van keep my promise.

Even Kola doesn't know I am actually a whole year older than him. I have kept my secret from everyone and keep Kola safe. But, when Kola met Amy, my chest began to tingle and hurt every now and then. I still don't know why, but, I think I don't like Amy. Instead, I lie and go along with Kola so he can be happy, too.

Its been a long year since we came here. I can still remember the way Kola looked when we met Momma. His face was scary and cold and I wanted to help him but he always punched or pushed me away. It was hard before coming here as I would always have bruises on my face and arms from calming him down into he kiddos of the nights back at Miss Aille's big house.

However, ever since meeting Amy, Kola has been smiling more and laughing to play with me. I don't know what Amy did, but, I was happy he was happy. It was the happiest place in the world, that is, until he began getting cold again little by little in the past few weeks.

Since Xie left away for a while, Amy has been here and not here and that made Kola sad. It made me sad and angry that I wanted to hit Amy for making Kola sad. But, Kola didn't move until I said her name. The last time I said I was going to hurt her, Kola pushed me onto he floor in our room. Closing my eyes because I knew what came next, instead, I felt his warm tears hit my face as he ended up sobbing over Amy.

I don't know why, but it made me really hate Amy and hate myself because I didn't know what was wrong with my body that made me feel bad.

Now that I have been pushed away by Kola again, I felt like I was back in the same hole with Kola that we were in before coming here. Even the smile Kola had last week when big sister Amy told us Xie was coming back, Kola lied when he smiled and just wanted to stay with Amy.

Before Momma stayed away in her room, she told us to help bug sister Amy because she and Momma got into a fight. At first, we tried to help, especially Kola, but, Amy threw us out and locked us outside form her room.

That moment, I heard Kola whopper under his breath and before I could tell him, he headed back to our room.

Tired and weary from his behavior, I suddenly shocked myself when I realized we weren't spending much time together anymore like we used to. I don't know what was running through my head when I heard him call my name, and I didn't care to answer. It hurt so much, I clenched my chest as he wandered and instead, whispered big sisters name under his breath.

Letting go of my chest, I stayed hidden near the window of the hallway and looked to the yard for the rest of the day. Even if I wanted to or not, I fell asleep and had nightmares about being all alone before bumping into Kola all alone and crying on the living room floor of our old home.

Snapping awake, I looked in awe as I wondered if I was still dreaming...

"Hey, Mili... Where is everyone? I brought takeout! " Hearing big sister Xies calm and gentle words, I felt my tears flow before I could move an inch.

"H-... " As she tilted her head, I jumped onto her chest and sobbed as I felt the strain in mg chest disappear.

Picking me up, she walked by Amys room while calling out to Kola. In that instance, we heard a loud noise in Amys room and suddenly, Amy came rushing out as she looked at Xie. Turning, Xie told Amy about her hair when Amy suddenly slapped Xie across her face hard. Standing still, Xie looked up and gasped when Amy was holding her face still as tears fell from her face.

Momma soon crashed into Xie as she was about to speak and cried loudly as Xie and I were surprised.

Everyone, including Kola came and we were all suddenly hugging Xie tightly and crying. Xie then held us close to her and she apologized for being away for that long.

~

After getting everything back to normal, we all headed to the living room and heard Amy ask Xie about, dreams.

"Yup! I did... Why? " Xie then turned her head and looked at the clock. "Oh! Our show should have already started! "

Smiling, I quickly turned the TV on and sat down beside her. After talking for so long about things I didn't understand, I began falling asleep as Xie laughed and gapsed at the TV. Momma and Amy came closer and Kola stayed by Amys feet as we all stayed together. It then made sence that Xie was what we were all missing in one way or another.

I couldn't help but look down at Kola from time to time and glare at big sister Amy, too. If anything, I didn't care as long as big sister Xie was here to hold me. Even yawning I stayed cuddled beside Xie and fell asleep...

But, this time, I had a beautiful dream about a place full of colors and lights. Two moons high in the sky and an entire world of shining hot colors. It felt and smelled so real, yet, I didn't care about knowing I was dreaming.

Falling to the ground, I looked up and gapsed as I wanted to stay in this place forever...

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