Empathizing

"I think telepathy would be the hardest to have," Carson said simply.

Yes! Telepathy was hard! Ivy had never felt so validated in her life and eagerly waited for him to continue. The casualness when she spoke was completely false. "Why is that?"

"Think about it—hearing other people's thoughts all the time must be overwhelming. Like you're stuck in a huge crowd all yelling at once but every hour of the day. Plus it might be hard remembering to answer to people's words instead of their thoughts."

Tears filled her eyes so she had to look away. Carson couldn't see her crying over this; he would think she was nuts.

"You read my mind," Ivy managed to joke while wiping away her tears. "That's exactly what I was going to say. I thought the same thing as I read those Y-Men comics. Doctor Y's power is more like a curse even though it has its uses."

Finally being able to vent her true feelings in the open, even if it was in a roundabout way, was incredibly therapeutic. She had never been able to complain about this to anyone before.

It was hard. She hated having to be on her guard all the time so she didn't accidentally answer someone's thoughts instead of their words. She hated how horribly loud everything was. She hated that she couldn't have a normal human bond with anyone because of the wall between herself and everyone else.

"What do you think Doctor Y would have been like when he was younger? Do you think he was ever able to keep any friends? Would he have used his ability to cheat on tests or homework? Did his head hurt all the time from the constant noise?" she asked, barely able to keep her voice from shaking.

Ivy still couldn't look at him. The tears were only getting worse. Getting all of this off her chest in a hypothetical manner had let a dam break.

Stupid. So stupid! She shouldn't be getting emotional about this. Most of the time she was able to keep her emotions locked away so tightly that they never came out in front of people outside of her family.

"I guess he would have," Carson said thoughtfully.

'Did one of the comics she read have his backstory in it? Why would she be thinking of what it must have been like for Doctor Y when he was in school? It's an interesting level of literary analysis for a comic book. Normally you wouldn't think so deeply about a character like this.

'Ivy thinks differently than most people, doesn't she? She's thoughtful and thorough but also somehow seems a million miles away from you at times. I really need to talk to her more often. She's a cool person.'

Ivy smiled through her tears. Here she was, crying about the sad hand she had been dealt, as someone thought nice things about her. It helped her collect herself. She was back to normal less than a minute later and felt safe looking up.

"Isn't it amazing how authors and artists can come up with these things? They make up these impossible stories rich with detail. I could never do something like that," she said lightly.

"Yeah, it's pretty impressive," Carson agreed. "Fiction is a wonderful thing."

She nearly snickered because he was thinking about anime when he said it. Out of all the people she knew he made her want to laugh lately more than anyone. Even Ethan, who was her usual source of entertainment.

The bell rang, effectively ending that conversation, so they gathered their things and headed to APUSH together. People seemed surprised that they were walking in together while idly chatting.

'Is Carson actually talking to a girl about something other than homework?'

'Since when were those two so close? I've never seen them talk before. They're normally both so quiet.'

'I didn't even know that girl could smile. What's her name again? I think it has a 'v' in it somewhere. Ava? Haven? Violet? Oh right, it's Ivy. Her team won the review game the other day.'

Was it really that surprising? Ivy supposed it would look strange since she normally kept to herself. But Carson wasn't nearly as bad as she was. He occasionally talked to his seatmates…about the homework. Okay, maybe it was surprising.

She felt an odd sense of kinship with this boy she previously thought only cared about grades. Maybe he was on the outside of things too despite blending in better than she did. He was certainly much more interesting than she had originally pegged him as.

It was official. She wanted Carson Summers as a friend.

Ivy thought about all the reasons this could be a bad idea. For one, he was a guy. He might get the wrong idea and think she had a crush on him. And getting close to anyone was a risk because of the increased chance of giving herself away.

She didn't care. He was nice, could make her laugh, and had been the only person she ever met who empathized with her plight. The extra homework help would be an added bonus.

How did one go about making friends though? Ivy hadn't gone out of her way to try since the third grade so she had no idea what she was doing. Continuing down the path of friendliness they were already on was good…but was there anything else she needed to do?

Talking between classes was what friends did. So was eating lunch together. The only other thing she could think of was hanging out on the weekends. Technically, they would be doing that on Friday at the dance.

Oh no. The dance.

When Ivy had invited Carson he was someone she didn't particularly care about. She had asked him because he was the only person she could think of. Now that she wanted to deepen their acquaintance she absolutely could not screw it up.

How was she supposed to do that when the dance was going to be so loud her brain would split? She was screwed.