Chapter 29 : Real Feelings

Chal Raed's POV

We're here in Eommamia's Luxury Restaurant, having a discussion about the new plans and strategies on how to consistently place our company on the top list as well as our business. This is an abrupt meeting because some of the shareholders couldn't come on Monday—the agreed day for this meeting—for some reason, so ngayon na lang ginawa. They also suggested that this place will be our venue so that we can have our lunch right after the discussion has finalized.

"I think, we must continue giving freebies every time the customer will buy clothes or shoes, but the freebies will depend kung magkano ang lahat ng nabili, basta the customers will be given a freebie if they bought 500.00 clothes or shoes and above," Miss Amanda Sison suggested.

"And let's have a raffle every three months," Mr. Anthon Dela Cruz said.

"Will that be okay, Mr. Alonzo?" asked Miss Clara Montero.

"Yes, I'm fine with it," I replied, then they continue exchanging their thoughts and suggestions. Ilang sandali lang ay tumunog 'yong cell phone ko. Spade is calling. "I'll just answer this, continue the discussion," sabi ko. Hindi ko na hinintay pa ang sagot nila at diretso na akong umalis ro'n. "Hello, Bro?"

"Kuya, have you seen Third?" he asked.

"No, I haven't seen him. Bakit? Do I seem like a lost and found box?" I pulled some joke and I heard him sighed. 'Di man lang maki ride at sabihing, you're the most gorgeous box of all box, Bro. I mean, handsome.

"We had an agreement that we're going to buy a present for Nova, tonight is their sure and final engagement party, right?"

Wala pa palang alam 'to. "It was canceled, Bro, as well as their wedding. Miss TS had decided to stop it and let Third decides on his love life alone, but she said she will still support him," sagot ko. I am really wondering what makes Miss TS changed her mind. Desidido na siyang ipakasal si Third kay Nova, eh, tapos biglang nagbago.

"Really? Miss TS did that?" gulat niyang tanong. Anyway, we're calling her Miss TS, minsan Mom, pero nasanay na kami sa Miss TS, aniya nakakabata raw kapag Miss 'yong tawag sa kanya kaya miski kaming mga anak niya—though, I'm not really his daughter, este son, tinanggap niya naman ako—gano'n na rin ang tawag sa kanya.

"Yes. And I'm still brainstorming on what kind of grass did she eat and she had changed her decision."

"Right. I'm also starting to wonder. We'll just know it later, I'll ask her. So, where should Third probably went?"

"I don't know where he might be right now. Seek him in his bar, perhaps he's there."

"I just went there and they said he hasn't been there."

Naglakad-lakad na muna ako habang kausap si Spade, until I reached this restaurant's garden—and I found Spade has been looking for.

Maybe she's the reason why the engagement party and the wedding is no longer going to happen.

"Oh, I didn't know you're dating again," I said while showing off my smile, but I know I'm starting to get hurt on the inside. 

They looked at me with their surprised look. Damn! She's very gorgeous, as usual. Third is so lucky.

"Chal Raed—Maundy? Third?" Jazz asked. I didn't know he followed me.

"Let's leave, Jazz, masira pa natin ang date nila," nakangiting sabi ko ulit. I can't take this anymore! She really had prepared herself for their date!

"Kuya, this is just a friendly date," Third suddenly said. I want to believe in him, but deep inside of me was telling me not to.

"Whatever date you're doing, I don't care. Continue eating, sorry for interrupting you," mataray kong sabi with my girly voice, but I am certain that there's a shade of pain on it.

"Chal Raed," Maundy called me. Damn! Why do I always feel so happy every time she calls me by my name?!

I didn't intend to look at her. I just closed my eyes and let out a sigh, "you're gonna explain? No need. Hindi ko naman kailangan 'yan. Nabigla lang ako na makita kayo rito, hindi ko naman kasi alam na nagkakamabutihan na kayo ulit," I said. I'm trying to calm myself down, but I just can't. My voice is full of pain and anger, like what the hell, Raed! May past kasi sila ni Third that's why I am over thinking!

"KUYA, I TOLD YOU, THIS IS JUST A FRIENDLY DATE. IF YOU'RE JEALOUS, THEN JUST SAY IT! STOP ACTING COOL, STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DON'T CARE!"

I was stiffened when Third shouted those words. Does he know everything? No! This isn't the right time for this. I need to escape!

"KUYA!" Third screamed as I suddenly walked away.

I am not yet ready, Third! If you know everything, then you should have remained silent! I don't know what she's thinking right now, but I hope she isn't thinking that I'm jealous because...I like her.

Calm down, Chal Raed. May pagkatanga si Maundy, she's surely thinking of stupidity now.

"Damn! I really am hoping she does!" I said out of my self.

"Chal Raed!" humarang agad si Jazz when I was about to open my car's door. "I can no longer take this! Kung lagi ka lang magseselos every time she's with another man, then damn you!" he shouted. Mabuti na lang walang ka tao-tao rito sa parking lot kaya walang nakarinig ng sinabi niya.

"You don't know what I am feeling," may diin kong sabi.

"Chal Raed, stop this, let's stop pretending! Kung ayaw mong maagaw siya ng iba, then move! Maundy is totally a girlfriend material and falling into her isn't hard to do! Chal Raed, Third is right, stop acting. Ano pa bang gusto mong mapatunayan? Isn't almost two months enough? Nakilala na natin si Maundy, nakilala mo na siya! Ano bang dahilan mo para 'di ka umamin sa kanya?! Kailan mo ba planong umamin? Kapag huling-huli na talaga?!" he angrily shouted.

I closed my eyes as how I closed my fist, "She won't ever like me, I'm a gay," sagot ko.

"You haven't tried yet and you're now making an assumption? And, Raed, you ain't a gay, you're just bisexual, know the difference. And besides, I've had already talked to her, it doesn't matter for her what sexuality does a person has, as long as his feelings for her were genuine and he'll do all his best in showing it off, then she will surely like him back," he replied. And that really makes me be placed in silence for a moment.

"I forgot, Maundy is different from other girls. Her level of acceptance is no joke," I said out of the blue. "But, I honestly am hesitating, I'm afraid to be rejected. She's the first ever girl I like, Jazz, I'm damn ashamed to confess my feelings," I added. Honestly, I'm just letting myself to stay strong, but I am already wanting to burst in tears.

"Stop being a candy ass, Raed. Man up, show her the real you, confess and don't be afraid! I'm your best friend, I am always here to help and support you," he sincerely said. "Chal Raed, let's stop pretending that we're gonna be lovers soon in front of her, pull out the thought in your mind that you're a gay because the moment you saw her and develop your feelings for her, you started to become a real man. So just please, man up and move. I know she's your happiness and you don't want her to be with another man, and that's what I want, too, Raed. Please do what your heart is telling you, and never forget to guide it with your brain," after he said it, he then started walking away.

I let out a deep breath. I don't even know how to start this, but, I guess I definitely need to move. If I really don't want to lose her, then I shouldn't get afraid and be a coward one.

"Sis, I'm gonna show you the real me," I whispered to myself before I finally decided to leave that place.