[37]

The storm is cooling down now, The heavy wind that almost blows away the zink of this building we are in now has stopped. I'm relieved we found this place before the storm started, if not we could have been blown away.

I'm still wondering why Aryan and Chris still won't talk about this Dixon. I mean this isn't the Aryan I know, he's been unlike him. He's been distant and it's killing me inside. It's been almost a week now and we still haven't talked like usual.

I so want him to open up to me, I want to know what's killing him inside. Talking of Chris, he went into town to get more provisions for our journey. And we might reach Maganda by a day or two from now. 

"Are you sleeping?. Aryan asks as I pretend to be sleeping, I knew he saw me rolling around trying to get myself to continue on with what's happening. He walks and lay beside me, his breathing touching my nose and I couldn't help but turn to the other side turning my back to him. 

I just don't want to think about the taste of his lips on me now. I only want him to just tell me what I want to know. Why he's been avoiding us.

"Tracy?, I know you are awake and I want you to know that I love you". Hell Aryan, Huh What's wrong with you, why can't you just... I've been begging him to talk to me since and he loves me when he's been hiding stuff from me? I know he loves me but... I don't know what I did wrong for him to be avoiding us these past days. I sniff in the tears that are already on my cheeks and use my hand to clean them off. 

"Hey, what's wrong... Hey". Aryan says and turns me to face him. 

"N-nothing, I-i think s-something enters my eyes". I lie trying to sound alright but failed and ended up crying on his shoulder, ruining his shirt.

It's time I stop trying to sound okay or be alright when I'm not. I just need a shoulder to cry on... To cry out all the pains of the people that lie on my shoulder. I can't sleep without hearing their voices, their cries in my head every night. Plus things going on between Aryan and me, things are going apart between us and I don't like the thought of it. 

I cry and cry as Aryan pats me on the back telling me to cry it all out if it's gonna make me feel better. I stopped crying when I feel my eyes popping out. 

"I will wash em tomorrow," I say and tries pulling out from the embrace but he holds me tightly to his chest.

"I'm sorry baby, I know I've been a dick lately and I'm sorry... I shouldn't have made you feel sad I'm so so sorry". He says in a shaky voice. 

"It's alright now... That we are like this... I mean now that I'm in your arms. I just wanna listen to your heartbeat". I say and lay my head on his chest. "I've missed us". 

"Me too". He says and I can feel his breathing... It is harsh and fast. "Dixon". He sighed and I cover his lips with my finger trying to silence him.

I don't wanna ruin the moment now... Right now I don't want to know about this Dixon or whoever, who happens to be the reasons things are now... I just wanna sleep like this on Aryan.

I've missed moments like this... We've been sleeping facing sideways for these past days and I don't wanna ruin us together now. I fucking love this man. 

He removes my hand from his lips "I want to... Okay? I want you to know... I don't want him to destroy the one thing that matters to me in this life. Tracy, you are the only person that made me feel loved when I felt the whole world was against me... The only person that makes life meaningful to me". He says and brushes his lips on my face. "Dixon is our brother," he says softly and I gasp and sits up to cuddle him to my chest. 

"Not biological but Chris's mom found him abandoned in the market when he was a baby and took him in like she did to me. The three of us grew up together and fend for each other". He laughs amidst tears and continues. "We even took an oath never to leave each other... So on the day of the spy selection in the palace, Chris and I got in while he didn't. That was years before six years ago. We thought he got in and had no idea that he didn't. So when we came back to report on our mission, that was when we heard the news that he died and people said they buried him before our parents could reach there". 

"Oh my God, Aryan..., I'm so sorry... I-i am". I say softly as a shiver runs through my spine and I wipe the tears in his eyes with the back of my hand. I never knew he went through all this... I feel bad now and I should not have pressured him. 

"We live mourning him every day, thinking he's dead and blaming ourselves for not being there for him, while he joined the bad guys and tried to assassinate us, his brothers".

"You said he went with you to the kingdom on that day?". I ask and he nods. "Aryan, maybe he got in... Maybe he's working for Alaky. '' I say and pinched myself wanting to believe that who we saw isn't Dixon but someone that looks like him". 

"Tracy... You must be right, what if he's threatening him... And come to think of this, they came after you sent that man on an errand to Alaky". Aryan says and runs his hand through his head. 

"What's his eye color? I ask trying to remember what I saw in his eyes when I almost strangled him. 

"Light green". 

"Jesus, I knew it!" I say and Aryan looks at me confusingly. "His eyes were very dark, the time I almost killed him...I think he is under Alaky's spell". I say and Aryan stands to pace around. 

"I noticed it too, I mean when I pulled off his mask...something in his eyes pushed me down," Aryan says and holds his head as if they were heavy. "I saw fears in there, it was trying to talk to me but something blocked it... he was crying inside. Tracy? Maybe we can fix him. My brother is alive! Tracy baby! My brother is alive!"He yell, carried me and swung me around. "You are an angel". He says and covers my lips with his. 

"Aryan... Perhaps we should finish the sex we started before that arrow interrupted us". I laugh and hide my face on his shoulder. 

"Like seriously?" he asked and I nod as he lay me down to remove our clothing.

Then my head starts to throb again and I think he heard it. "You are burning up". He says and touches my forehead "Maybe we should save the sex till we reach Maganda". He says and I tried to laugh but couldn't because my body hurts.