twenty one

"God Y/n, you're so beautiful." He sounded so far away as he spoke, but you knew he held you close, and that eased your worries. You smiled, closing your eyes, sleep pulling you in. You had never been so exhausted, or felt so alive, and you had no idea how you could feel both at once.

~ ♡ ~

This was the second time you'd been awake, ready to get dressed and start your day, only to end up back in bed, sleeping again. Taehyung was a bad influence... but such a good bad influence.

You realized that your tank top was back in place, your top half covered, and knew that Tae must have done it, because you certainly hadn't. You hadn't been capable. Your bottom half, however, was still naked, as you could feel his hand on your bare hip, his fingers lightly caressing your skin, occasionally moving to the curve of your bottom.

Your face was nuzzled into his chest, and you inhaled deeply, intoxicated by how good he smelled. You felt him kiss the top of your head, his arm that was under you pulling you against him.

"Hi sleepy head, how do you feel?"

You leaned your head back so you could look at him. "Like I never want to move from this spot."

He pressed his lips together in a smile, the corners turning down. "As much as I agree with you, I really need to get up."

You frowned. "Do you have to leave?"

"No, but if I don't get to the bathroom right now I'll have to walk around here with no pants on. I had two cups of hot cocoa before I got here."

You giggled as he pulled himself free of you, and hopped up, hurrying to the bathroom.

You got up, quickly putting on your shorts, finishing just seconds before he opened the door.

"I feel better now. I thought I was going to burst."

"Why didn't you get up and go, silly?" You gave him a puzzled look.

"I didn't want to wake you."

You were again touched by how considerate this man was, having put you first in every situation.

"Do you ever think about yourself first? About what you need?" You tilted your head, your eyes widening as you waited for him to answer.

"Uh...." his eyes moved back and forth, then he pouted, looking at you. "I try not to...I'd rather make sure the people around me are happy."

He raised his eyebrows, and you smiled, shaking your head. You wished you could be as selfless as he was. You made it a goal to try, because there was nothing wrong with wanting to be a better person.

"I think I'm going to go take a quick shower. I'll be out in 10 minutes. Don't go anywhere, okay?" You didn't want to get out of the shower and have him be gone.

"I could always join you..." he wiggled his eyebrows, smiling cutely.

"Mm, how bout no." You grabbed your clothes, smiling sweetly at him as you stepped into the bathroom, hearing him mumble something about you being a party pooper as you closed the door. Maybe one day you'd have to reconsider showering together, it might just be fun.

You hurried to get a shower,  dressing and opening the door about 12 minutes later.

Taehyung was standing by the window, looking out, humming something. You walked quietly, trying to sneak up on him, but just as you were about to poke him in the ribs, he spun around, grabbing you by the waist and planting a kiss on your lips.

You squeaked in surprise, but quickly relaxed in his arms as he moved his lips over yours, his tongue slipping into your mouth, dueling with yours for dominance. Finally, you broke apart, needing to breathe.

"What was that for?" You asked breathlessly.

"Does it have to be for anything? Can't I just kiss my girlfriend?" He was playing with a piece of your hair, and you stared at his lips, feeling giddy that he'd called you his girlfriend.

"Do you wanna come watch me practice, y/n?"

You looked up quickly, wondering if you heard him correctly. "What?"

He smiled. "I have practice in an hour. You can come with me, if you want to."

"Really? It's okay?...I mean, you won't get in trouble for bringing me?"

He shook his head. "Nah, it's just gonna be the 7 of us there. No recording today, so only us in the practice room. Besides, this will be a good start to us being 'friends', ya know?"

You nodded. "I'm kinda nervous though. I don't know how well I'll be able to hide my feelings for you, or remember what not to do."

He frowned. "Its not really that big a deal today, cause it's just the guys, and they're going to figure it out sooner or later anyway. It's mostly only when we're anywhere that there's anyone else."

"So, ...you aren't going to keep it a secret from the guys?"

"Nah, we don't keep things from each other. Jimin kind of already knows anyway." He smiled that cute smile where the corners of his mouth turn down.

"Jimin...kind of...already knows...what?" You asked carefully, wondering if you would be able to face the other boy at all.

Tae bit his bottom lip, closing one eye as he looked at you. "Every...thing..."

You mentally groaned, knowing you wouldn't be able to look Jimin in the eye anytime soon. You wondered if guys talked about sex and girls the same way girls talked about guys. Like... did guys get into details, or did they keep it to simple facts?

Girls could describe an entire sexual encounter in perfect detail without leaving anything out, and in fact, that's usually exactly how it was done, because we had a need to know everything. But for guys, you imagined it would be something along the lines of 'so she sucked me off, then we fucked, and it was great', the end...but honestly, you had no idea. And you weren't going to ask.

"Jimin's my best friend, y/n. We've known each other since middle school. He knows me better than anyone, and I always go to him if I need to talk about something."

If Jimin knew, and that meant that Taehyung had someone he could talk to about it, then that was a good thing. "I'm glad Jimin knows, to be honest."

"You are? It didn't look that way a second ago."

You chuckled. "Well, at first I wasn't, but I think it's good that he knows, because this whole situation with having to keep all this a secret...its frustrating, and I think it'll help to have someone you can talk to about it if you need to."

He nodded his head to the side. "That's exactly why I decided to talk to him, to see if he had any advice. To be honest, I didn't tell him everything, he figured some of it out on his own. But what about you... who do you have to talk to if things get to you?"

"Well, I don't know anyone here except you guys, and Minhae. But I have a friend from back home that I worked with, and if I really needed someone to talk to, I could call her. She doesn't know who you guys are, and even if she did, it's not like I'd have to tell her exactly who you are."

He looked at you for half a minute, not saying anything. "Who's Minhae?" You were 98% sure he just asked that thru clenched teeth. Was he jealous?

"He's the desk attendant here at the hotel. He asked me how I was enjoying my stay one day, and we ended up talking for a few minutes. He's very nice."

"The desk attendant?"

"Yes Tae, the desk attendant. Why?"

"No reason. I just wanna make sure I know who you've made friends with, and if I know them. Remember, we are just friends as far as everyone is concerned. I'm just being careful."

You guessed that made sense. "Well, I'm pretty sure Minhae is harmless. And I doubt very much that I would be talking to him about us."

"Okay, but I want you to know that you could always talk to Jimin too. I know you don't really know him that well yet, but he's the sweetest guy, and he really cares about everyone. If he thinks you're upset, he'll try to cheer you up. I always feel better after talking to him about stuff that's bothering me."

"I'll remember that. I'd really love to get to know all the guys better."

He pouted. "Not to much better."

You laughed. "No, not to much better. Don't worry, Tae, I'm not interested in your friends. I actually wasn't even interested in you, you were just nice to look at."

He made a face, his mouth opening, his eyes blinking, as he dramatically clutched at his chest, falling to his knees on the floor. "I'm devastated."

You shook your head at him, walking by and pushing him. "You're a drama queen."

He fell over onto the floor, laughing at you as you went to grab a hair band from the bathroom so you could get your hair out of your face. You came out, and sat down on the bed, putting your sneakers on.

He got up, and plopped next to you, noticing your stuffed tiger on the bed, half buried under the blanket. He grabbed it, smiling widely as he looked at the floppy animal. "Cute. Do you sleep with this?"

You made a face, thinking he was poking fun at you. "I do. I sleep better with something to hug. I've had him since I was 3. He's pretty much the only thing I have from my childhood."

He nodded. "I can't sleep without holding a pillow or something."

You smiled, briefly remembering one of the videos you watched having something about him wanting a pillow so he could go to sleep.

"Are you ready? We need to get going."

"Yep. Lead the way."

The two of you rode the elevator down, heading out onto the busy sidewalks. You waved at Minhae on the way out, earning you a glance from Tae, and you rolled your eyes at him. But you smiled to yourself, because you were pretty sure he was jealous, and that made you feel good.