Reviews of RE: Harry Potter World: Dark Magic
RE: Harry Potter World: Dark Magic
Orionwashere
- Overall Rate
- Writing Quality
- Updating Stability
- Story Development
- Character Design
- world background
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Honestly? I hate writing bad reviews, and your 'story' admittedly deserves it less than others I've read, but dear lord. First of all, there is an inherent redundancy in the way you set up the wish system. Why give your protagonist instant mastery in terms of magic, and also make him a deity? Is there any point in that? Why does he need to learn how to use poultry mortal spells, when his mother is the God of magic? There are other problems too but honestly I only skimmed through. The grammar runs any semblance of immersion; I find it hard to read a single sentence, and while I may understand its meaning, I'm left with no motivation to decipher the rest of the paragraph. You could use grammarly (the free version) to correct certain issues, but it's better to improve your grammar on your own.
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