NaranNarman
Hello everyone, thank you for reading my second published book! Depending on the reads and feedback, this book will be updated either regularly or irregularly, thank you so much for devoting time for this novel of mine, cheers and hapoy reading! Any and all feedback, wheter negative or positive, is appreciated.
the plot is unique it's a plus point for this but I wonder why in chapter 2 it use 'I' but later use 3'rd person POV? Also simple suggestion since I read this in app, the paragraph made is too long. It's quite uncomfortable reading it so please cut down the paragraph into short one. Grammar is ok it can be edited but please try not to only add 'He asked', 'he said', 'he answered' u can use variety to conversation as not to make it boring. Keep it up u got potential!
So.. AI boy wakes upp and deconaminates earth, big problem though, Every single speck of life on earth is gone. Suddenly a portal to a high fantasy opens upp and AI boy decides to kill everyone that comes through the portal even thoug they can't even scrape the paint of his murder-machines. Writing is not bad although there are plenty of misstakes. Story could be awesome, but this is more my preference not being met rather than it being bad. It is impossible to sympathise with MC due to him, it? not having any emotions. World building is ok.
I have really enjoyed this book. Story is about a guy who is a human robot hybrid that can control machines. One journey through a wormhole later he discovers a world of magic and dragons goblins etc... MC is a "bit" more overpowered than is strictly necessary (that is one sentence I never thought I would type seriously) overall it has the excitement you would hope for while reading the book description. Pros: overpowered mc Great writing quality Great action scenes Characters are believable Cons: Author makes MC too powerful early in the story I expect to see some classic plot devices later on into the story to make up for this problem. The actual technology building mechanics and in depth planning are somewhat lacking. Overall I found it to be an amazing story definitely worth checking out!
I read the first 4 chapters and It was a great read. The world background is great till now. The pacing is excellent and I like that it is written in the first perspective POV. But as the main character is not properly described, so I cannot get an image of him in my mind. Would help if you write a little to describe him. But other than this, I liked everything and would recommend people to read it.
The story itself is a wonderful concept, a splicing of a super scientific world with a fantasy world. The problem is execution. The story reads as if itβs being written by someone with English as their second language or straight from voice diction. The characters have weak impressions and the story rambles around with events and character actions that donβt really make much sense. There are some redeeming qualities however as the author often avoids common tropes (through design or mistake I canβt tell) and takes time to go back and review his work. Best of all he keeps to his release schedule.
ππππππππππππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππππππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππππππππππ ππππππππππππππππππππππ