The Sphere

February 2013

It was a bright and beautiful morning. Gina was sitting in the driver's seat to my right, going at 60 kilometres per hour. Our destination was Dr. Love Café located in Petaling Jaya.

I slowly flipped through the red journal I was holding in my hands, while I was talking to Gina. I've spent the whole night writing in that journal. It contained everything that I've been through in the past five years. I wrote all of my sweet, painful, regrettable, and even tragic moments in that journal.

Going through the pages helped me escape the confusion of the present reality and took me back to the past. I was in a dilemma, and I needed to make a decision. A strand of thought kept going through my mind that day, 'Anything that happens in the future comes from what I decide today'. Someone once told me that life is the greatest teacher for everyone. Armed with a journal that was full of memories, I had to look into the past to find my answer. I had to find guidance from the teacher that has faithfully stood by me all these years.

My watch showed that it was already five minutes after nine o'clock. Dr Love would normally be opened at nine-thirty in the morning, and Ally, the owner will come around an hour early to tidy up and open the cafe.

I would always drop by Dr Love during my free time. I also happened to know Ally quite well. The café owner would always welcome my friends and I there. Apart from supporting his quaint café, we preferred to hang around there because we loved the atmosphere that he had created. The interior design was captivating and most importantly, the daily menu suited our tastes. The price was also reasonable.

Gina and I were planning to enjoy some tea and quiet time that morning at Dr Love. However, our plan was disrupted when our mutual friend, Julia, arrived with shocking news.

"I'm done for, Ally! I'm done for, Gina! I'm done for, Marina!" muttered Julia as soon as she sat at our table. She looked troubled.

"Why? What's going on, Julia?" asked Ally. The three of us waited anxiously for Julia to give us her answer.

"Ally. Do you remember that time when I told you about Sam and his newly opened business?" Julia asked.

"Yes..." Ally answered with a nod. "'Why, Julia? Did something bad happen to that business?"

"All right. You see, I loaned Sam some money..."

"How much did you give him?" asked Ally.

"Not much... just a hundred thousand."

"Wow!" Gina, Ally and I looked at each other in shock.

"That's a lot of money you gave him, Julia..." said Gina.

Julia was silent. She kept her head down but her face clearly showed her apprehension.

"I just wanted to help him, Gina. I believed in his ideas. I wanted to be Sam's business partner for both of our futures. That's why I was willing to give him that much."

"Did Sam personally ask you to loan him that amount?"

"No, Gina. When he first told me his business idea, I was the one who offered to be his business partner. He said that if I was interested, I could contribute 20% to the capital. But, I willingly offered him that amount because I truly believed in his idea. I wanted to see that idea become a successful realization!"

As I sat there and tried to process the situation, I wondered how Julia could have gotten involved in such a problem. Knowing her, I knew that she did what she did because she trusted and loved Sam. Throughout our friendship, I could see that Julia would sometimes put the need of other people first instead of her own. Especially those who are special in her life.

"Okay, but what happened? What has gotten you so upset like this, Julia?" I asked.

"A few days ago, about a month after the opening of the store, I heard from a friend of his that the local authority is going to take action against him."

"What?! Why would the authority wants to take actions against Sam?" I asked.

"Because he broke the law, but I'm not sure what and why. I have to ask him for an explanation first," Julia explained. She paused before continuing with her story. "If what I've heard was right, there is a possibility that his store will be closed, and he would be prosecuted. He might even be sued. When that happens, I'm sure that Sam wouldn't be able to pay me back any time soon. I'm done for. I took out that money from my own business capital. I'm dead! The rest of the money would only be enough to cover my daily expenses..."

"Huh!" Ally sighed as he shook his head. He seemed unable to believe the things that he had just heard.

"Have you discussed this with Sam?" Gina asked.

"Not yet. I'm waiting for him to come and tell me this himself" said Julia.

I felt sorry for Julia. I understood her anxiety. Her presence that morning somehow made me think of my own fate.

So I picked up my journal and read the last sentences I wrote in my last entry before I made a new entry about Julia.

If I had uncertainties about the concept of fate prior to this, looking back through my journal made me realised how fate goes around in our lives. Our fates have been written, desires and expectations will be expressed, signs will be given, and actions must be taken. Fate has many facets that allow us to choose. We have always been given a choice, and every one of us is responsible for our own life in this mysterious reality that we live in.