Harry Potter Fan-fiction 9 - Second Chance, A New Choice

Plot: Severus was dying in the shrieking shack, and he did indeed die. However, forces out of his control rendered him the ability to re-choose. going back and choose differently.

Pairing: SS-LE

Authors note: For those whom has followed this story for a while, last year I announced the reconstruction and completion of the story, and this is it. The reconstruction began a month ago and I am at full work.

This is how it is going to work, I am working with an American editor to finally give this story the shine its readers deserve. The fiction from now on will be updated ones a week, every Thursday! With a fully edited chapter! The story will be reposted here and on "Archive of our own." where I write under the pen name Moonybird.

Keep in mind that both my editor and I have full time jobs, therefore we can only work so much. But we both promises to stick to it! There are 65 completed chapters and the full number is probably going to be something like 70-75. These chapters are also going to split into three so called books, which means when one "Book." is done, we'll probably take a break working on something else and then go back to this. So yes, the time frame for this fic to finally be completed is about two years... This is a HUGE project.

I beg of you for patience and hope you will enjoy the new and improved version of the story. Love, Moonbird.

"Harry, look at me," Severus Snape rasped. Cold smothered him, but… it didn't hurt. "You have… what you need." He pointed to the little vial in the boy's hand and met Harry's eyes. So green. Just like Lily's. But what was that in them? Not disgust, or hatred… Forgiveness? You… forgive me…?

Those eyes, so full of mercy, gave him the strength to let death take him.

I'm free now.

He sank into warmth and welcome. No fear lived in this place, no sadness or pain, only peace.

Now unbound by clumsy mortality, he floated, like a shred of parchment blown on gentle breezes. How could anyone fear this?

"Severus?"

His awareness sharpened. "Mother!"

A young woman greeted him. No wrinkles or worry lines creased her face now, and her eyes were bright as morning stars, but held a curious sadness. Raven hair fell to her shoulders, and a smile shone for him. "My son." She wrapped him in a hug. "My little Severus, I'm so sorry."

"It's all right," he said. So, this is what Eileen Snape truly is.

"Let me look at you." She held his face in gentle hands. "I never saw you grown."

Without need or desire for pretense, Severus smiled. Every trace of hatred, malice, or distrust vanished, but…

"So many regrets." His mother's eyes welled. "They're drowning you."

Every heartache, every remorse hit; they choked him, hammered the dam that kept them back and blurred his vision with tears.

"You did your best." His mother joined his grief. "All you could do."

Severus held her tight and wept.

"Regret pulls you from me, my dear son." Worry clouded her face as a tug loosened her grip.

No. I can't leave! Severus gripped his mother's arms with every ounce of strength, but his heart weighed like a cinder block around his ankle as it dragged him toward an ocean depth of grief.

"Listen!" She held his face again. "I won't lose you! You will not wander the earth for eternity like a mournful ghost."

Severus nodded as the weight pulled harder.

"Choose now—choose a second chance! Go back. Focus! Don't consider what you left. Go farther, to a time where you had opportunity to choose differently!" Her eyes swirled with concern. "If you don't, you're doomed to roam until your soul finds peace—a feat few accomplish."

His grip slipped, but he closed his eyes and concentrated.

Forgiveness.

"Hold that memory, Severus! Hold it until it defines you!"

That red hair—those emerald eyes. She defended him, but he pushed her away. All those times back then. I must make it right!

"Hold it fast!"

A vision formed: Hogwarts, his schoolmates, himself studying alone. The weight grew, fueled by regret's tears.

The phantoms in his mind solidified.

"Thank God," his mother said. "You are not alone, my son. Someone else wished a chance at happiness for you too. Their help grants you this opportunity." With a mighty pull, she tugged him into one last hard embrace. "Do well, my son," she whispered and laid a light kiss on his forehead.

"I will," he choked as his heart jerked him away. Peace and warmth fled. Empty hand outstretched, he plummeted into cold darkness. And pain.

It flooded back—sadness, hurt, anger, guilt. An ache crept over him, and dryness invaded his throat. A hard jar sent him upright, eyes open.

Sharp light stung, and he shielded his eyes. Sounds intensified and prompted a headache. He shrank from the commotion as he stopped his ears until the ringing subsided.

"All right, Snivellus!"

Instinct ignited, and every heartbeat hurt. Severus drew his wand.

"Expelliarmus!"

The wand flew from his grasp, and he uttered a silent curse. When did I get so sloppy? Shock is no excuse.

Laughter drew his attention, and messy black hair and brown eyes paralyzed him. James Potter! Can it be? If he's alive… then so is Lily!

Potter returned his stare. Uncertainty flickered in the other young man's eyes, but he quickly hid it. "What's the matter, Snivellus?" he mocked. "You look like you've seen a ghost."

A second chance!

Severus wet parched lips. The old Death Eater instincts rose, and he dove for his wand as it lay in the grass, two inches from Potter's feet.

"Oh, no you don't. Impedimenta!" Potter yelled.

The spell struck Severus, and he cursed again. Why didn't I just Accio it? He wouldn't expect it. I just lost my chace at a clean exit. I've too much wit and experience to be beaten by a bunch of teenagers!

"His nose touched the parchment," Sirius Black mocked from the sidelines. "There'll be too many grease marks to read it."

Severus ignored him. At least laying down gave him a moment to compose himself. Besides, he'd been called far worse—been through things Black couldn't yet imagine.

"Aww. He's lost for words." Potter smirked. "Sirius, I think you've hurt his feelings."

"I just hope he's not going to wipe his nose with us," said Black.

Accio, wand! Severus thrust out a hand with cold calculation.

"Scourgify!" declared Potter.

The spell hit before Severus snatched his wand or cast a counter for Impedimenta. An appalling taste coated his mouth. The bitter punch combined with panic, Severus mustered the strength to break the binding spell. He sat up coughing and spitting. Defeated by a child's curse? This is embarrassing. He spat most of the soapy taste into the dirt and glared at Potter as he dried his mouth with his wizard's robe sleeve, but the acrid tang of lye still ate at his tongue.

"T-that'll teach you to wash your mouth," Potter hid a tremor at Severus's wandless magic.

Instead of swearing, Severus poured his hurt and confusion into one sullen glare.

Potter stepped back. "Well, aren't you going to tell me what a spoiled brat I am?" His nervous tone belied the taunt.

"Leave him alone!"

All shock and discomfort vanished. Lily. His world faded until he saw only her, and his heart leapt. She berated Potter, but Severus paid that no mind. She's… alive. Vibrant with anger, her green eyes flashed, and her voice's strong melody soothed him.

Severus staggered to his feet and approached Potter and Lily. I must beg her forgiveness.

Potter noticed him and pointed his wand with a shaky hand. "Stop right there." Fear edged into his voice.

Severus halted inches from Potter's wand. He expected to feel hatred for him, but… he didn't. Not even the twinge of annoyance rose at Potter's shenanigans.

Lily stopped his breath.

"I'm warning you." Potter still shook. "Stay where you are."

She's real… He hid his relief and took a slow step toward Lily.

"Levicorpus!"

The world tipped upside down. Feet in the air, Severus' gaze never left Lily.

She covered a gasp and demanded, "Let him down!"

"When's the last time you washed your pants, Snivellus?" Black teased, but the tremor in his voice sent the taunt flat.

"What's up your sleeve?" James gulped and narrowed his eyes. "Sirius, something's wrong here."

Black shuffled forward but only one step.

"Snivellus, what do you have up your sleeve?" Another hard swallow followed James' demand. "For Merlin's sake, speak, Snively!" he barked.

I've a great many things up my sleeve, Potter. And I need no wand to break your juvenile curse. As Severus focused on Lily, his facade broke.

"Aw, you made Snively cry," Black said with a bit more courage.

"James Charlus Potter! Put him down!" Lily's words burned with anger, but Severus glimpsed a grain of uncertainty behind the rage.

"Lily," Severus managed, voice broken.

The onlookers silenced and stared. His first word of the encounter was barely a whisper as he hung upside down, silent tears dripping onto the grass.

"It's all right," he assured her. "They're the ones who look like children."

Lily's astonishment and terror hurt. I wish I knew how to tell her not to be afraid. She's so beautiful—and oh, so alive.

"S-Sev…" she stammered.

"That happy to see us, huh?" Potter tried to step in, but the question lent only awkwardness.

"If I could move, I'd kiss you, Potter," Severus said with a smirk. What's worse, I really could. It's all too wonderful to be real. He thunked to the ground, Potter's concentration broken, and the hex with it.

The Death Eater instinct rose again, demanded he compose, assess, in order to defend. He sat up. Fifth year. He stood. The crowd took a step back. Right after my Defence Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. exam.

Everyone watched with a mix of fear and fascination. Unlike the rest, Lily's fright glued her in place. It stung to see her still so afraid of him. Those emerald eyes urged him to make sure she was real. With a shaking hand, he touched her shoulder. When she didn't vanish, he drew her close. Finally, the right face frames those eyes.

Lily's shock and uncertainty radiated through her.

Severus wrapped her in a tight embrace as years of pain and sadness escaped. "Thank God!" he cried. "Thank God, you're safe!" The whole crowd heard him, but he didn't care.

"Sev…?" Lily tensed in his arms but patted his back at an awkward tempo. "Whatever it is, it's fine. I'm fine!"

"I see that, but I just can't quite believe it yet." Severus trembled and held her a little closer.

No one said a word. Not even Black. Severus half-expected another nose-wiping crack as he wept over Lily, but it never came. I'm far too old for this—been through too much. "Everything will be different now," he choked, as much to himself as to Lily. "I promise, I can change."

"Shh… It's all right," she whispered as kindness melted her uncertainty. "Let's go somewhere else."

He nodded and gathered the strength to let her go. That one gesture took every shred of will. But when he saw her face, a genuine smile, the first in ages, fought free. Though small, it held galaxies of starlight and brightened as Lily returned it before she took his arm and led him toward the castle.

"Wait!" Lily let go.

The moment without her seemed eternal, and vulnerability settled over him.

"Here." She placed his slim, black wand in his hand, the same one he'd held in the Shrieking Shack.

Was it only minutes ago? The wand pulsed. This… is real, isn't it? "Thank you," he whispered.

Lily took his arm again.

Stunned, he followed. Only when he sat on an unfamiliar couch did he realize he was in Lily's dorm. Red banners, a lit fireplace, and four beds occupied the room.

While it wasn't against the rules to bring schoolmates from other houses into a student's common room or dorm, boys couldn't go to girls' dorms unaccompanied by a girl. Despite the lack of mandated segregation, house pride often trumped camaraderie and promoted schism. Common room passwords became a treasured secret instead of a sign of unity.

In all his years as a teacher, this was a situation for which he'd never prepared. What are the rules for a girl bringing a boy from a different house to her dorm in the middle of the day? Though it was easier to focus on the mundane now, he forced away the trivial question.

"It was the only place we'd be alone," said Lily. "How about I make you some tea?"

Severus nodded.

As Lily brewed the tea, his thoughts swirled. It happened too fast. None of this makes sense. Last time, this ended much differently.

After he'd taken his fifth year Defence exam, he and Lily grew farther apart because of his choices. He'd craved power, longed for revenge against Potter's Marauders. At the time, he hadn't seen the problem with Voldemort's ways, and when he joined him, Severus found the opportunity for power and recognition. He hadn't realized how high a price he'd pay for his choice.

Back then—what was once now—Lily begged him continually to reconsider. She warned that if he continued, he'd lose her friendship. They hadn't even studied for the O.W.L.s together. She'd made one last attempt to defend him, but he'd blown that too… and lost her. He didn't know if she was willing to give him another chance. Perhaps, if he'd changed in his first life, she'd have stayed his friend. She always saw the best in people—in him.

When she'd laid down her ultimatum—her or them—he'd closed himself off, sworn to show everyone his potential for power. In youthful stupidity, he expected power and respect would bring Lily back.

It didn't. If she learned the truth about everything—how it ended last time—she'd be disgusted, and rightly so.

The mark! Icy fear crept over him. He closed his eyes. Please, be gone. If she sees it… she has every reason to leave me—to hate me forever. He held his breath and waited until Lily was on the other side of the room, back turned. His hand shook as he tugged up his sleeve.

Gone.

His thin white arm was bare. Not even the red stain that plagued him after Voldemort's disappearance remained. Waves of relief crowded over him and blurred his vision with tears.

This is it! My chance for freedom. Haven't had that since… eighteen—fresh out of school. He breathed a shuddered sob but smiled through it and covered his eyes. If this is a dream, I never want to wake up.

"Sev? You all right?" Lily pulled up a chair and sat in front of him. She offered him a steaming mug of tea.

His cold hands welcomed the cup's warmth. As he sipped, delightful heat filled his throat and chest. "I'm fine." Though his voice was hoarse, and his eyes refused to stop pouring tears, he smiled. "Right now… I'm better than I've ever been."

"Did something happen?" Lily looked apprehensive, even puzzled.

"I've been through Hell," Severus said, eyes on his mug. The remaining tea jostled as his hands shook. "I've seen things so horrible I wouldn't want anyone else to see them."

"When? How? You haven't gone anywhere. I—we… haven't spoken much, but I've seen you on campus every day."

"Time is an elusive thing," Severus muttered. "To live in a world with magic means some things can never really be explained."

Lily frowned.

His heart rent. "I was wrong, Lily," he whispered. "God, help me, I was so wrong! And I'm sorry. I'll do anything to make it up to you, I promise."

"You mean… I know you're tired of hearing it but consider what you're doing! Supporting Voldemort—even the idea—is wrong. He's pure evil!"

Severus winced at Voldemort's name and nearly dropped his mug.

"Don't look at me like that!" Lily crossed her arms. "You know how I feel about him and his lot."

He gaped, then shook his head clear as he ran a hand through his dark hair. "I don't–" He swallowed hard to clear his tight throat. "I don't want anything to do with him. Ever."

Lily straightened, eyes wide, unbelieving.

"I never told you… and I need to tell you now. You're the kindest, most compassionate, beautiful person in the world." He set his mug aside and struggled to say everything he wanted to. "And you were right! You were always right. I was wrong."

"Why now…?"

"Because in a moment, I'll wake up and find this is a dream." Sadness welled in Severus again. "You'll disappear, and I'll never see you again."

"Sev, for Heaven's sake!" She leaned closer and slipped from the chair to her knees. "What's wrong? Please, tell me." Fright shadowed her face.

"It's… complicated." Very. His mind ricocheted like a loose spring in a rubber box.

"Are Avery and Mulciber out setting up something you planned? Did it backfire? Get out of control? Just tell me!"

"What? Oh…" He and she were on far different pages. "Nothing is going on with them."

"I saw you whispering with those two this morning. And you promised Black payback today. I heard you say so outside the exam room." She crossed her arms. "What did they do?"

"Nothing." Severus's face blanked.

"Okay then, what did Malfoy, Mulciber and Avery do?"

Severus laughed. "Those fools! They don't deserve to sniff the dirt I walk on. I don't want anything to do with them."

"Y—you what? You said they were your real friends!"

"I was wrong. People like them don't understand what friendship is. I should count myself lucky I do." He gently took her hands and emphasized each word, "I. Really. Should. You were right about everything. They're evil." Oh, Lily… you were always my conscience—my guardian angel.

"Uh… thanks… I guess." She cleared her throat. "All right, tell me this—what do you think of muggles? Be honest. I can tell if you're lying."

"What about them? People are people. You're a muggleborn, and my friend. Doesn't that speak for itself?" said Severus. "I don't care whether someone's a muggle, muggleborn, or pureblooded. You realize I'm a half-blood, right?"

"You've… never said that out loud…" Lily wondered at him.

"Oh." Was I really so narrow-minded before?

"Honestly, I don't care. You know who else is a half-blood?" said Severus.

Lily shook her head, eyes fixed on his face.

"The Dark Lord," he said as anger rose in his chest.

"How do you…?"

Severus shook his head. "I know a lot—such as, his real name is Tom Marvolo Riddle." He cursed under his breath. "I wish he'd drop dead. Do everyone a favor."

Lily looked shocked. But whether it was because of the topic, or because he'd said he wished someone dead, he wasn't sure. Perhaps it was his sudden change in belief. He winced as he remembered showing admiration for Voldemort more than once before the age of fourteen.

Horcruxes! His mouth went dry. Was Voldemort making them even now? How many are already out there? The diary! Voldemort made it as a student. "I know…" Severus rasped.

"What?" said Lily.

"Too much." He shook his head.

"Is… he coming after you? Have you been meddling with him? Of all things, Sev!"

"No, no." Severus stood and wandered the room in quick, disorganized circles. "The Dark Lord isn't aware I know anything." He rubbed his chin and traced his steps around the room again. "I was never there—not anymore," he muttered. "But I know now, and if I don't do something, it's just as bad as joining him." He stopped in front of Lily and leaned close. "Don't you see? If I do this right, I can turn everything around!"

"You're scaring me." Lily's wide eyes shone with fear. "You sound… mad." She looked away, defeat in her voice.

Does she really think I've lost my mind…?

Severus slumped in exhaustion. "I'm sorry. I just… What should I do?" He retreated, embarrassed. "I can't give this information to just anyone. So… who do I tell?"

The reflection in the dorm room mirror startled him. Merlin, I'm different! So… young. No more appalling, sickly, dry parchment skin, or wrinkles. Darkness' terrifying edge had vanished, giving way to the scrawny, gangly frame of a sixteen-year-old.

He never considered himself attractive, but at least without all those years of dark magic, he wasn't quite as much a mess. His skin was still pale, and he had yet to grow to his full height. Once-sallow cheeks looked normal again, but the sheen of oil that plagued every teen shone on his face.

Severus touched his nose. It was large, but not as distinguishable. And his eyes… Instead of sunken tunnels, they resembled two brilliant black orbs. I liked my eyes once.

He glimpsed Lily in the mirror as she approached. She's only sixteen too.

She stood beside him. "You act like you've never seen a mirror before." She laid a hand on his shoulder. "You can tell me if you want. It would make me feel better, at least. I promise, I'll listen."

"Thank you," he whispered. Will I ever stop being hoarse? "I might… but not right now. I need a moment. My head is bursting." Nausea squeezed his gut.

"I'll—I'll let you—go… then…" Lily sighed.

"No!" he said too loudly.

Lily jumped.

His cheeks burned with embarrassment. "I mean… I could relax better if I didn't… have to be alone." He looked away. "If… I have you near me." His heart pounded and he couldn't quite breathe—like he just dove into ice water. "Please?"

A light smile flitted over her lips accompanied by… relief?

Does she not trust me to be alone?

Severus' legs wobbled. He sat on the closest bed and slumped, head in his hands. A broken string threaded through each of the day's events as his head pounded.

After the incident at the lake earlier in the afternoon—which still rang clear as mirrored glass even though it happened years ago by his reckoning—peace was exactly what he needed, that and an escape from prying eyes. He winced at the memory. What would my students think? He stopped. No students! I am a student—one more time. I'm not going down that road again. No Death Eaters. No having people hesitate to give me a job. He smirked. Impressing those potion fools will be easy. I can brew things that won't be invented for ten years—and with my eyes closed.

Lily pulled her chair over to him again. Her doubt hurt, but she was here, with him. He relaxed a little. You don't trust me yet, do you, angel? But you still ease my burden when I can't bear it anymore…

Curfew approached.

Lily escorted Severus downstairs.

He dreaded the moment he had to let her go. Will it all vanish once she's out of my sight? His heart raced.

"What the–? Snape?" A flabbergasted Potter drew several students' attention.

Severus nodded. "Potter."

"You can't be here." Potter lifted an accusing finger.

"Obviously I can." Severus smirked. What must he think? Me, leaving Lily's bedroom with her? He nearly chuckled at the immature delight of Potter's discomfort.

"But—but you're not allowed," Potter stuttered.

Black, Potter's constant shadow since childhood, nodded.

"There's no rule against it." Severus frowned. "As long as I'm back in my own common room before curfew, I can be here. So, if you'll excuse me, I really must be going." He approached the portrait hole.

The Marauders made no snide remarks. Potter and Black stood together, Wormtail just behind, a question on his face. Lupin burrowed into a book as he always did when Severus appeared. But even the bookish werewolf glanced at him with furrowed brows.

Severus hadn't known much about Lupin before the other man's appointment as Professor for Defence Against the Dark Arts, and he learned more at the Order's meetings.

Werewolves… Severus suppressed a shudder. At least Lupin stood by me before in his own way… even if I shoved a lot of hate his direction. He remembered taking Dumbledore's life and shut his eyes against the tide of his past life's regrets.

Lupin knew where his loyalties were. Wolfsbane isn't easy to brew—not to mention how long the process takes. I could have poisoned him any time. No one could've proven it wasn't an accident. And, oh, I considered it, Lupin, so many times. Remus tucked into his book again when Severus looked his way. But I didn't. And you honored that.

I'd have him in my debt again. He swung into the open portrait hole and smirked. A little fear would be healthy for the rest of Potter's band. Lupin's werewolf form from the incident at the willow sprang to mind and Severus' hands grew clammy. Feels like an eternity ago. He glanced back. Not for them. He stifled another shudder. They're roaming the grounds during the full moon—without Lupin under control.

Severus remembered Lupin's transformation—when he was a Professor. And though Severus was of no real use then, paralyzed by his fear of werewolves, he'd shielded Harry, Ron and Hermione. Wolfsbane is the only option this time. He pieced together more of his plan as he exited the Gryffindor common room.

Confusion couldn't begin to describe Lily's feelings.

She stared at the exit long after Sev left.

He seemed genuine—first at the lake, then here. She sensed when he lied, even when others couldn't.

Something's different this time—off. Not just one thing—everything. I want to believe him. An ache settled in her chest. This is so… sudden. Not to mention weird. He looked shocked—shaken through. His silence back at the field still chilled her, and she unconsciously rubbed her arms. Well, whatever it was… I suppose it's good. He—She choked. He almost passed the turning point. I felt it. He really wanted to hurt people. I couldn't make him learn the lesson he needed, but now- Now I don't have to! I owe someone a miracle… I just wish I knew who.

James' behavior earlier shocked her. This time, she saw Sev's dark expression, and understood it when James used Levicorpus. But when Sev didn't throw a fit and curse the Marauders… That's what he always does—lash out when attacked. His temper is horrid. That's his flaw. He's so… unhinged sometimes. But when he doesn't say anything… The chill returned. "They're the ones who look like children," he'd said.

Sev's words terrified—even unnerved her. Was he going to do something to them? With everything he's been doing lately… She shook her head. They're prats, the lot of them. Even so, I don't want them dead. But… Sev never cries. Not since he was nine—even when his mother died. What terrified him so much…?

Lily tapped her foot.

Is Sev in trouble? Or did he turn a new leaf? Her chest squeezed again as she recalled the day's events. For his sake—and mine… I want to believe it's the latter. But this is his last chance. He can't have my friendship and serve Voldemort. Oh, Merlin, help me! I hope this was a good sign, but it's so bizarre!

"So? What's wrong with him?"

Lily turned to James and the others. "That's none of your business," she snapped.

"So, something is wrong!" said Sirius.

"Padfoot, sometimes your skills of deduction are just astounding." Remus rolled his eyes and tucked his book under his arm. "Pretty sure we've established something happened to Snape."

"Then what is it?" said Sirius.

"Lily's right. It's not our business." Remus shook his head.

"You're such a bore," James pouted. He perked up, "You don't think it has anything to do with…" He gave Remus and the others a knowing glance.

"I don't think so," Remus said.

"But, it could," James persisted.

"Maybe," Remus said. He bit his lip and fidgeted. "But I still don't think so."

"What?" Lily said, her curiosity at its boiling point. "Do you know something?"

The four boys startled.

"Does it have to do with… you-know-who?" She crossed her arms, face stern.

"Merlin, no!" James' jaw slacked. "Has Snape had something to do with him?"

"Uh, no," Lily quickly said. No reason to give Sev more trouble. "He said he thinks… he… is evil." Lily fiddled with her ear.

"Perhaps Snivellus does have a decent bone in his body," James muttered amidst the other boys' puzzled looks.

"Maybe," Sirius echoed.

"Would you stop calling him that? He hates it," Lily said. "It was childish when you were eleven. You're sixteen. Grow up!"

"Come on, Lily." Sirius snorted. "That couldn't be the reason he went to blubbering."

"Of course not." Lily perched hands on hips. "But that doesn't mean he likes it."

James looked thoughtful. "Didn't seem like he noticed this time though."

Just before she shot a reply, she stopped, finger to lips. He's right. Sev didn't mention it—even said he didn't care what the Marauders said or did to him. Doesn't he want to see them go down for what they've done? Make them mind their own business? I agree to a point, but it's not like him to ignore them.

"Let's drop it," Remus said. "Snape isn't one to cry without reason. Actually… I don't think I've ever seen him cry—especially not like that. Let it be this time. It's not our business."

"But…" James began.

Remus' face pleaded.

Lily rolled her eyes. Will Remus never stand up to them? He should insist, not ask.

"Okay." James sighed. "You're right."

His answer relieved Lily. With the Marauders, James' decisions were final.

Sirius wasn't happy, but he was too loyal to James to go against him.

Four or five stray students headed for their common rooms as Severus walked the Hogwarts corridors. He knew every inch of these halls now.

Two more students passed without slowing. Strange to be invisible again, except the odd looks from the ones at the field earlier.

He neared the dungeons.

"Mr. Snape."

Severus stopped and faced Minerva McGonagall. To hear her call him that added one more thing to today's list of strangeness.

For years she called him Severus. Except last year… when she thought me a traitor. Then it was plain Snape, but never Mr. Snape.

A smile tugged at his lips. Minerva hadn't changed. Fewer wrinkles creased her face, but that was the only difference. He respected her. To meet her eyes, devoid of hate, disgust or the wound of his supposed betrayal… It gratified and relived him.

"Mi—Gonagall– Uh, Professor," he salvaged.

Either she didn't notice the slip or chose not to address it as she approached. "Mr. Snape, it was brought to my attention that someone from my house did you serious harm. Do you wish to confirm that?" she said in her best business tone.

This is new. "Nothing worth mentioning, Professor," he assured. The tears must've made me look more the victim this time.

"I was led to believe you were seriously compromised, and… well… emotional," Minerva said, voice low.

To think she put so much effort into a student's well-being. I preferred giving detention, myself.

"Perhaps I was… emotional, as you put it," said Severus. No use in denying it. She's too stubborn to let it go. "But it had nothing to do with Potter, Black and Pettigrew. I had… personal reasons."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Professor." Severus nodded.

"Very well. Off to the dorm with you. It's getting late."

The pair turned opposite directions.

"Professor!" Severus stopped.

"Mr. Snape?" Minerva faced him.

"Thank you."

Minerva's expression brightened.

Thank you—for the rivalry in a previous life. I enjoyed it. Thank you—for standing by me in two wars that haven't happened yet. Thank you—for being you, the solitary reliable thing in my previous life.

"You're welcome." Her eyes softened. "We teachers are here for the students, after all."

When it came to students, it didn't matter who she liked more, she'd do what she could for them. Severus bit back another smirk. Can't say I excelled in that department, Minerva. But, then again, teaching was more of a necessity for me than a passion.

Severus gave her a nod. "Thank you," he said again and continued toward his dorm.

He reached the entrance to Slytherin's common room. Password—what's the password? He stared at the entrance for a five-count. Guess I'll wait until someone else goes in. And they'd better not think they've the right to insult me if they realize my predicament.

Almost before he finished the thought, quick, light footsteps approached.

Ah! Narcissa Malfoy—no, Black. He stepped aside, relieved it was her. She wouldn't hesitate to use the password in front of him, and she wouldn't ask too many questions.

"Severus," she greeted.

"Narcissa," he replied.

Not yet tied to Lucius Malfoy and weighty responsibilities, she looked young and vibrant again.

"How… are you?" she said.

"Fine," Severus replied as he eyed the entrance instead of meeting her gaze.

"Going in?"

"In a moment," he said.

"Oh, okay." She gave him a confused tilt of her head but didn't pry. "It's getting late. Probably shouldn't wait too long," she said. "Cobra." The code triggered the door for Narcissa.

Severus counted two minutes. "Cobra."

He entered. Stares bored into him from every corner of the common room. Whispers echoed, and Severus' guard rose. His wand waited in his sleeve, ready for use. He took the stairs to his dorm, and though everyone gawked, no one confronted him.

He plopped onto his bed, face-up.

Outside the window, a half-moon glowed. Two more weeks. Just enough time to make Wolfsbane. Can't let a werewolf roam the grounds uncontrolled.

The day's events crashed through his head. Died in the Shrieking Shack killed by Voldemort—sent back to the world of the living by a load of regret—avoided becoming a ghost because of… Mother. That old life… it's gone—at least for me. I haven't done anything—not this time.

He checked his unmarked wrist again and allowed a faint smile. Not a Death Eater, not a spy—certainly not a double-agent. No one hates me. Well, Potter's lot still doesn't like me much, but it's nothing compared to… He remembered all the people who abhorred him before. Lily's alive! And no one's died because of me…

A half-chuckle escaped Severus. How did a situation like this ever exist for me?

His eyes drooped. This is a dream. Maybe Heaven is real, and I'm in it. I never have to make those mistakes, never have to see the terrible consequences. I could go with that. Absolutely. Everything's looking up for once.

Sleep came, and he drifted off with a smile on his lips.

Chapter End