Chapter 27

'Mmmh, so warm.", Alex starts to slowly wake up. He snuggles nearer to the source of the warmth. Relaxing again, he seems to notice a sound. He concentrates a bit. 'There it is. What is this?' He moves his head to position his ear nearer to the sound. 'There it is again.'

A slow and steady rhythm. badump - badump - badump

Alex slowly opens his eyes, blinking away the sleep. Something is right in front of him. Then it finally dawns on him. 'Daniel.' He can't help but smile. He realizes that the sound he is hearing is the other man's heartbeat. His boyfriend's heartbeat.

He lets the thought linger. His boyfriend.

Warmth fills him throughout his body. He marvels in the wave of happiness he feels.

Concentrating back on the faint sound, he matches his breathing to the up-and-down of the chest he is leaning against. With a content smile he drifts back to sleep.

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- Daniel's POV -

dut - dut - dut. dut - dut - dut.

'What is this sound?' I feel myself being yanked away from this perfect dreamless sleep I just had. My hand reaches out, instinctively searching for the sound. I feel the outline of a clock. 'Ah, an alarm clock.' My fingers search for the button, finally pushing it and silencing the cruel thing.

I need a moment to orient myself. I feel body warmth next to me and look down on a head of black hair, snuggled against my chest. 'Alex.'

I feel warmth fill my chest. Then, my mind starts working properly and the last evening and night starts playing inside my mind.

I told him everything. I showed him my fears, my weaknesses. I showed him my insecurities. He just brushed them away, accepting them. Accepting for himself an uncertain and potentially dangerous fate.

My mouth twists in displeasure. Yesterday, I got swept away by his words. I mean, after I told him everything, he just confessed to me. It felt right to be with him. I was stupidly swept away by the mood, like a freaking teenager who just wants to get laid.

But now, logic sweeps back in. I can't believe I let the matter settle that easily. I can't have another liability, another weakness near me, especially now with that best friend of Shao Shen on the loose. I cannot put a boyfriend in such danger.

My train of thoughts is abruptly intercepted when I feel Alex stir in my arms. I realize that I am still hugging him, my right arm feeling numb from holding this position the entire night.

"Good morning." Alex smiles at me and it seems he puts all his love into this. I feel my resolve crumble at this sight. "Good morning, Alex.", I kiss him on the top of his head. Why? Because it feels right, even when every logical bone in my body screams at me, urging me to leave him alone.

"Did my alarm clock wake you? I am sorry. I have an early morning, with walking Zero and everything." He looks back up apologetically, still showing this loving smile. My heart clenches. I have to think this through calmly. I cannot be swept away by the mood again.

I have to get out of here.

"No problem. I also should be going back to the office. I can't always leave everything up to Carlo." It is a lie. Who would work at 6 o'clock in the morning? I feel like shit, starting our first morning with dishonesty.

But it seems to work. Well, not that Alex would know the schedule of the mafia. "Okay, should I prepare something for you to eat first? Or a tea?"

"No, thank you. I will take it on the way." I will myself to separate from him, while my body screams in protest and my heart aches. Alex makes it easier for me as he also starts to get up. He is naked.

Alex doesn't seem to be concerned about it; maybe he is just not yet awake enough to feel self-conscious. On me, it has a different effect. It makes me recollect the last night, how he lay under me, waiting, craving for me to give him pleasure. How he arched his back, leaning into everything I gave him. How his face showed the orgasm so clearly he got from my mouth.

But also how we talked afterwards. How he blushed, how he admitted that I was his first for everything.

I feel myself waver again, wanting to hug him close and taking him to bed right now.

But I force my desire back, force my eyes to look away. I start arranging my clothes. I should stop by at home before heading to the office. It was obvious that I slept in my clothes.

I gather the rest of my belongings and start heading towards the door. I already have a 'Then I will be on my way' on my lips, when Alex pulls me close.

He kisses me, softly, just a peck. And then he smiles a smile that should be forbidden, full of warmth and joy "Have a good day."

I just manage to mumble a "Thank you. You, too." and quickly head out of the apartment.

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I come back to an empty house. It takes me a second to remember: Dana and Peter would already be at the lake house.

'I didn't tell Alex.' I scold myself for having this as the first thought to come into my head. My mind revolves around Alex already way too much.

I try to keep myself busy the whole day, asking Carlo to load onto my desk every task I kept rescheduling for 'later'. It worked, kind of.

At lunch time I am exhausted and go out to eat. I take Steven along with me, which is a mistake. I wanted someone to keep me company, distract me from Alex. But I forgot that Steven is everything but a talker. So we sit next to each other, silently eating our meals. My mind wanders back to Alex. Would he expect a date this weekend? How can I brush him off? Do I have to break up with him?

I feel myself cringe at the thought.

I push the thought away for later.

Just this moment, my phone rings. It's Carlo. "Yes?"

"Boss, you should come back to the office. We have a surprise guest here."

I think about who it could be but come up blank. "Who is it?" I am not in the mood for guessing games.

"Shao Shen and his best friend."